Just random thoughts

I just wanna be

2011-10-20T16:20:00.002-04:00

I just wanna be happy. Is that too much to ask? Im not looking for bucketloads of cash. I wanna be my own person & discover my destiny. I just wanna explore all the possibilities. I just wanna be free. Free to be me. A woman without inhibitions, reservations, or regrets. A woman who listens to suggestions but dares to care less. Because she knows her heart. She knows her soul. She knows that god gave her a different role. Something extraordinary is just over the horizon. But she cant see it yet. The sky is cloudy and the road ahead is wet. Yet she keeps going slow and steady. In search of a dream, hoping that she finds her way. To a place where she can finally be, free.

updates!! Just my thoughts

2011-10-20T16:08:00.000-04:00

I always said i wouldnt be one of those people. You know the ones who never accomplish anything. But look at me now. I feel like im going down the wrong road and i cant turn around. Either way i go its going to be hard. You see i subscribe to the school of thought that you make a way out of no way & that theres more than one way to get somewhere in life. Other people dont see it that way though. I see it as grinding. They see it as struggle. But ive learned the hard way already that things dont always go the way you want. Ideally i would crawl in a hole and never come out but this clock called life keeps ticking no matter what. There is no pause button. I know theres a way to follow my heart and be successful. I know that if i work hard ill get what i want out of life some of the time. But first i gotta get in the race.

Me in 2011

2011-01-25T19:52:00.003-05:00

Hey blogland. I know i have been gone for a long time. A lot has happened since i last wrote. For one im a senior in nursing school, which is no easy feat. Im also 21 now. Thats write your girl is grown&sexy now. With the grace of god I will graduate with my Bachelor's of Science in Nursing in May. That means ill be out in the real world. I'll have to start making way more decisions for myself. I'll have to rely a little less on my parents and become more independent. I'll have to change for the better and try my best to make something of myself. So that my family can be proud. So that my late grandmother, grandfather and great uncle can be proud. Only god knows how much i miss them. There isnt a day that passes that i dont think of them. I really wish they could have seen me graduate. However, i know i have three guardian angels watching over me eternally. I know they would be happy. As far as i have come, at times i still feel as though i have a long way to go. I doubt myself way too much. I feel lonely. I feel scared of what is to come. I feel so many emotions. I only hope that i can be all i hope to be and more. I really dont think i can be successful until i believe in myself though. It all starts with me. Well thats all for now. Hope to write again soon. When a thought comes to mind that is. Peace, Joy, and Love.

Update----->

2010-06-20T17:21:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone out there in blogland. SOrry i havent been keeping up with this blog. But lifes been very hectic. Im bout to be a senior in nursing school. Im working 3 days a week & i still have to have time for me. lol. Enough about that. Lets get to the thoughts i had in mind.

>> We all know today is fathers day. So i must pay homage to my own dad. Without him, i dont know where i would be. We dont always get along, but i love him to death and i know he loves me. So happy father's day to all the good fathers out there, biological, adopted, the moms who have to be dads too, etc. You are all appreciated. Hope you enjoyed your day.

++ Now i may be late but im just hearing Lyfe Jenning's new song Statistics. I most say it is the truth and its very profound. There were a couple of lyrics that stood out to me. But the one that i would like to share with you and keep in mind is, "be the person you wanna find. Don't be a nickel out here lookin' for a dime. No truer words have been spoken. I truly believe i need to practice what hes preaching. If i want a real man, i should strive to be a real woman. If i want an educated man, i should try to acquire as much knowledge as i can. If i want a man who is hardworking i must work hard myself and stop being lazy. If i want a man who is compassionate, loyal, funny, trustworthy, honest, and much much more, i must find it in my heart to be such a person. I really think this song could not have come at a better time. I mean i have been told this before. However, now for some reason, my eyes are open to the truth. Its up to me to embrace it or keep being the way i am. Im at a low point in my life. I afraid to be alone. I crave attention. I think im just in love with being in love. I need to let love find me. But first i need to find myself and be in love with that person if that makes any sense. But toodles for now. just wanted to say that tidbit. Hopefully ill update again soon.

why

2010-01-21T21:07:00.000-05:00

Wrote this a few days ago, last week to be exact. It's still relevant though...

1) is it just me or is everybody a texter now and days? what happened to the days when a cell phone was actually used as a phone, not just for txting? To me it just seems like the people who say this would rather limit their exchanges to 160 characters or less. Is that because they really dont like talkin? Is that because they might say something they'll regret? or is it because they simply dont know how to hold a conversation/dont feel you're worth they time/nrg to talk to on the phone?

2) Why do people give out their number so quickly/ask for yours so quickly and then barely use it, only send chain letters, or text at random times?

3) Why do people call you/or you call them and they're on hush mouth and their only excuse is b/c they are a quiet person. Which means you are left with the daunting task of leading the whole conversation? I mean sometimes i understand as women we have to take the initiative to get the convo started but shouldnt men talk at some point too? Shouldnt yall be able to offer up a substantial view point/perspective/thought?

4) Why do people text and only reply with one letter/word? That irks my soul.

5)Why do people take so long to respond to a txt/email/im sometimes. That also annoys me.

6) What is up with the total disregard for being grammatically correct. Ok ill give you a couple misspelled words, but dont destroy the english language.

7) Whats up with people wanting certain kinds of pics/certain number of pic msgs/day?

8) Dont you hate when people send you the same text like a million times?

9) I hate when you call somebody and they dont pick up but as soon as you hang up, they txt you or you txt and they respond.( or when you miss a call and as soon as you try to call back, you get the voicemail)

10) I hate when people have long irritating voicemail messages.

Well i could probably go on for days about communication pet peeves such as the ones listed above, but im done for now. I know they have like a million groups/pages about this kinda thing but i just had to get this off my chest from a personal standpoint.

Deuces until next time. Peace, Joy, and LOVe

Whirlwind(so many things on my mind...)

2009-11-07T03:44:00.001-05:00

Well so many things have been on my mind lately. So now im gonna share them with you.
1) I hate when people dont have patience. I mean is it gonna kill you to wait for a few minutes?

2) I hate days when i am running from start to finish. I honestly dont think i have it in me to do that. in other words, im kinda lazy LOL.

3) I hate that some people dont study one bit and ace a test, but i have to study all week to achieve the same grade or better.

4) I hate that men are so hard to decode sometimes.

5) I hate arrogant people.

6) I'm so tired of feeling like i give my all in a situation only to end up hurt or disappointed.

7) I hate that im not a morning person, but people say the early bird gets the worm.

8) I hate that life throws us curveballs and we have to duck.

9) I hate that some people are so wishy washy and dont know what they want.

10) I hate that im so diligent in some areas of my life, but negligent in others.

11) I hate when people add me on social networks but then they on hushmouth forever.

12) I hate when i delete people who dont talk to me or who are beneath me( as far as mentality) on social networks and then they wanna request me again. (as if i would add you again. you didnt talk then, you wont talk now)(only applies in some situations).

13)I hate that i seem to attract bad boy types, but the good boys that i attract turn out to be duds and a waste of time(not all).

14) I hate that i have such a bad sweet tooth(bad for my health but good for the soul LOL).

15) I wish that i could find one guy who understood me for the most part, accepted me and stuck around for a while(and i could understand, accept and stick around to be with him)(i mean am i really that bad? )

16) I wish that life wasnt so complicated.

17) I wish that things would go my way more often, but they dont.

18)I wish i could graduate right now.

19) I wish i could make good money doing what i really love(writing).

20) I wish more people would keep it real.

21) I wish I could be more independent.

22) I wish I could see my extended family more.

23) I wish i was more confident in my abilities.

24) I wish septa would stop this strike.

25) I wish i could find a good book to read.

26) I wish i could stop procrastinating.

27) I wish i could take a vacation.

28)I wish i could grow more spiritually/mentally/emotionally.

29) I like that i have standards but sometimes that backfires.

30) I like that i can say whats on my mind, without hesitation most of the time.

31) I like that I am becoming more outgoing.

32) I like that i'm doing something with my life.

33) I like that i'm so mature(in some aspects).

34) I like that i put myself first.

35)I like that im a caring person.

36) I like that im knowledgeable about things.

37) I like that im considerate.

38)I like that i have loving, supportive parents.

39) I like that i dont take bs( i have a boiling point).

40)I like that i refuse to settle for mediocrity.

41) I like that im my own person.

42) I like that im funny.

Well theres probably more floating around in my cerebrum but ill stop here. Thats good enough. LOL Peace, Joy and Love.

**More randoms from your girl Am

2009-10-29T03:31:00.000-04:00

Ok so i been thinkin alot lately and these are some questions/thoughts going through my head. let me know if you ever felt like this.(9X/10 you probably have)

1) Ok, why do some men say they like you but when you try to conversate its hopeless?

2) Why do some men say they want you, but when they get you they cant handle you or seem to be intimidated by your aspirations/goals in life. Or by your achievements in general?

3) Why do some men feel some type of way about not being the center of attention in your life?

4) Why do some men who are either too old or too young, or out of your league try to talk to you?

5) Why do some men expect you to call but they hardly ever pick up the phone?

To take it in another direction:

6) Why does it seem like i slept fine the first two years of school, but this year that all went downhill? LOL (Im nappin like crazy).

7)Why does it seem like all i can think about is school nonstop and im bordering on bein obsessed with time management?

8)Why is JR year so hard period?

9) Why do i feel as though id rather work for chump change than be broke? ( i mean i could make more but lets face it im too lazy to look for another job right now LOL)

10) Why do i feel like being a little kid right now, even though i need to face facts that graduation is a year away?

**Well theres way more where this came from but this is all i could come up with off the top of my head for now. Tell me what yall think. Peace, Joy and Love.

~+Seriously Overdue, but here i am+~

2009-10-25T03:44:00.000-04:00

Hey yall I know its been a hot minute(2 months to be exact), but your girl is back. And i have a lot to say. In such a short period of time, i have gone through so much and grown even more. I learned things i wont ever forget. I've seen and done things that i've never done before. I'm working on myself(physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc etc). I'm moving and running so much thats all it seems i have time for. And for some strange reason, thats so hard to understand. It shouldn't be but it is. But i get it. If im at school or at work or doing something else all the time, that throws a monkey wrench in whatever trick you got up your sleeve(im not sayin all of yall are like that(men)). But i dont do what i do to irk anyone or ignore anyone intentionally. I do this for me. So i wont starve or be homeless. I do this for me so i can have some peace of mind, happiness,and independence in the future. My philosophy is if i work hard now, i can play later. Ill endure a little bit of pain for now to enjoy a pleasurable life later. In other words, as i'm always saying, my time is money so don't waste it. Thats why i would rather cut through all the crap when i meet people and try to figure out what your agenda is. But some of yall dont make it that easy. I gotta stick around for a while and be Sherlock to figure yall out. I gotta stick around long enough to figure out we not on the same page about anything instead of you tellin me up front. Thats the one thing i cant stand these days is that people don't respect time anymore. I despise the fact that when i had time, there was nobody to be found, but as soon as i get busy people want a piece of the clock. It dont work like that though. To avoid all the drama, i would rather immerse myself in work and school and home than waste my time b/c 9x out of 10,what im working towards is far more important than what you're doing( i.e.: nothing, only have a dead end job, or you're not even interested in getting anything beyond a high school diploma(besides hustlin)). Im just at the point in my life where as far as im concerned relationships come and go. However, at the end of the day its just me and i need to be the best me i can be to be with somebody else(you cant be a mess mentally and be in a relationship, that only hurts them and wastes their time). Well thats my piece and yall will hear from me soon. Peace, Joy, and Love.

~Melting Pot of Emotions~

2009-08-25T01:21:00.001-04:00

I mean i really dont know what to say. I was heartless, and didnt let the small stuff phase me and told the truth in a harsh way. What did that get me? Nothin but told off by a lame that didnt even deserve me. I try to be nice and tactful and sweet again while still takin everything with a grain of salt and i still get bs handed to me. I guess it doesnt matter. Sometimes we get screwed over no matter what we do. Its just fate i guess. God has a plan for us and sometimes it doesnt go the way we want but theres a point to the madness at the end of the day; to teach us a lesson. I guess the lesson for me is to just be the best me i can be and dont worry about what people think. As long as i dont do nobody wrong, god will bless me in the long run. Thats what i gotta keep tellin myself. Otherwise i dont know what to think. At this point i would just rather work and go to school at the same time to keep myself busy...then i wont have to worry about losers wasting my time b/c there will be none left to waste. I really miss a couple of people in my life right now, however who knows if they even care about me at all? Thats what hurts the most. I try to put myself out there and it seems like i get burnt every time. I dont even care anymore. I got more important things to do anyway. Who needs love if this is what its like. :-( Well if anybody thinks that philosophy is way off...let me know why i should think differently. Deuces. Peace Joy and love.

More thoughts from yours truly...♥

2009-07-30T21:08:00.001-04:00

Hey yall. Im back again. Still busy as ever and during my day it seems like thoughts travel through my mind at warp speed. Well enough chit chat...here it is.

1) I know im young and there will be plenty of time for growth. And maybe, just maybe i'm thinking too far ahead. But i really truly feel as though i need to change some things about myself. For example i learned alot in the past few days; such as the fact that it is good to tell the truth but you must have some tact. Nobody wants you to sugarcoat but you don't have to be brutal either. Wow go figure; what i mean is this sounds like such a novel concept but i couldnt even put this thought together a couple of weeks ago. So i guess that shows growth. Another thing i need to learn is patience. It truly is a virtue that most people would do well with if they acquired it soon. LOL. Third of all, i really need to learn acceptance. It seems as though i have certain expectations and maybe even opinions about how things should go or how people should treat me. But in the long run, the truth is people can only be who they truly are and life is not Burger King, i cant have it my way. No matter how much i want to. Fourth, being nice seems so excruciatingly hard but i'm willing to try my hand at it again. Even towards people who dont deserve it because a friend of mines taught me that you should treat others how YOU would like to be treated and they'll look back and see what they missed out on and possibly regret it; the moral of the story is to be nice to others no matter how evil someone may have treated you b/c the next person doesn't deserve to be treated mean. So basically those are the things i need to get better at. And i know everybody has flaws and you can aspire to be perfect but in reality nobody will ever reach perfection except God himself. Thats just the way it is. But i still want to try my best to be a good person that God would be pleased with.(most of the time LOL)

2) Relationships are so hard man. But i truly am trying. I guess you really have to work to keep them alive if you dont wanna be alone. Sometimes it may seem like the better road but in reality its a sad one. On the bright side, it helps you grow when you're alone but there comes a time where being alone gets old and you want somebody by your side through thick and thin, who will never let you down. And in order for that to happen you have to open yourself up enough to be that same person for them that they can lean on when times are hard. You only get back what you put out, so maybe i need to change my way of thinking about things and what not.

3) Why do we have to look so good all the time but Some men can go around lookin like they fell off a garbage truck? I think i talked about this before. If those men would get their act together maybe i wouldnt mind lookin like i work on a runway more often LOL. However, there are Many exceptions out there. They look so good and they know it. I mean at least they know they gotta pull their weight in this competition called love LOL.

4) I really really wanna move out soon. Like hopefully before im 25. Its not like im in a rush to pay bills. I just want that indepedence and the ability to do things when i feel like it. I feel like im gettin just a lil bit too old to still have to have certain limitations i have at home. for real. If i keep on doing well in school, hopefully i can have everything i need and most of what i want and hopefully ill be able to survive on my own, god willing.

5) Im so tired of my mama always calling me. I feel like Florence in this house. I cant wait til school starts again. I love my dorm and it hurts to think that i might not be there if tuition gets too steep :-(. That place keeps me sane. I cant be home all semester. Hopefully i wont, if God is paying attention....

6)Songs i like :
mario ft sean garrett and gucci mane- break up

beyonce ft kanye west- ego rmx

drake ft trey songz- successful

mary mary- god in me

jayz ft rihanna and kanye west-run this town

7) well i gotta work tomorrow. but on the bright side, its payday and i get off before 12 LOL. I hope i get some more hours this week.

8) I really need to practice soon. I def need that scholarship.

9) Cant wait til im done this class. 2 more wks left.(4 classes to be exact)

10) Well gotta go now. be back with more next wk. Peace Joy and Love

update

2009-07-18T03:58:00.002-04:00

Wow i know its been a minute, but once again a sister has been very busy and i have alot on my mind so here goes.

1)Just when it seemed i was moving in the right direction, i got a "memo" so to speak and it really made me think, is this the right way to be? And i decided that it wasnt and that i should try yet another approach. But to tell the truth, as far as growth, i believe that it is inevitable that change will occur and you will have to neglect some bad habits and replace them with good ones. I never thought about it that way but thats the reality.

2)I really wish i had all the answers in life. Like do you ever wish that you could push some magic button or open a door and all the answers to the questions that you have will be answered? Well i do. Sometimes i get so lost. But i know if i keep my eye on the prize(success), and keep the faith, i will find my way.

3)I wonder why i cant really focus. It seems as though my mind is always preoccupied. I mean i have been keeping myself pretty busy as far as work and now im retaking this class. But, did it ever seem like you have something important going on but you're just not there mentally? Like it's like my mind went on vacation(maybe that could be a clue to why i havent wrote in so long LOL ;-) )

4)Did you ever think about why people say and do the things that they do? It's really weird. When i sit and think about it, it almost seems like half this world has no substance or coherent thoughts. And its also weird how people will ask you the dumbest questions that they should already know the answer to.

5) Do you ever feel like there are people in this world who's whole objective/purpose is to annoy you to no end? Well i know that feeling very well and trust me i live it everyday. And theres no escaping it unfortunately. Its a shame to say but these people make you feel happy that you have places to be everyday. They make those places seem like paradise, even though being there isn't that fun either. LOL.

6)I'm so excited that i have one of my best friends in the world back in my life. Even though we may have been through alot, i'm always there for him and vice versa and we got a bond that nobody can break. :-)

7) On another note, i met somebody wonderful but b/c of my "attitude" i may have scared them off. Hopefully not though. Its a shame that you dont recognize a good thing just because you're stubborn. Who knows where this could end up?

8)It'll be time for school again soon. It seems like i love being there and i consider it like my home away from home now. When i have work i hate being there, but when i dont i love it and to me its way better than being at home. I dont know about anybody else but i love the freedom i have there.

9)I hope i can get my license before school starts and maybe even keep working. I might stay at work, just to keep some chump change and b/c i have less classes but it still amounts to the same when you add in the extra stuff. idk we'll see how that goes, i dont wanna overwhelm myself.

10) In other news, i cant believe ill be the big 20 in 2 months. Needless to say ill probably be the only one who's still 19 when school starts :-(. I know im exaggerating but that's what it feels like. To me 20 represents so much like the fact that i have been around for 2 decades and that im not a teen anymore....but its not as great as being the big 21 thats the real one...you can do whatever then LOL.

11) I really need to keep up with this blog(and poetry and stories) but i get such a bad case of writer's block sometimes. I just dont know what to say. But like a friend of mine said, i should just continue to write from my heart b/c in reality this is not for you. This is how i vent and express myself, and if you wanna read it be my guest but it wont be the end of the world if you dont.

12)havent seen any good movies lately. But i do have a few new favs as far shows. I really like hawthorne seeing as im studying to become a nurse. And i like tiny and toya. IDk but lately shows like that just interest me. I guess im kinda nosy LOL.

13) Music: a few of my favs
a) pleasure p: the introduction of marcus cooper( i love like every song on here...def a banga)

b) musiq: on my radio( just as good, if not better than luv and musiq, another classic in my opinion)(know i said it already but i didnt elaborate LOL)

c) beyonce: i am......sasha fierce(full of hot songs...wish it was longer though)
Thats all i can think of for now.

14)So glad im off tomorrow. But i plan on being a lil productive LOL. Hopefully i am. Well see yall next wk. Peace Joy and Love

Book review(first ever!! LOL)

2009-06-18T02:23:00.002-04:00

Well i know im mad late with this one. However, im entitled to my opinion and I for one believe that Steve Harvey's book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man is the absolute truth. It truly is like a "playbook". After reading it, i see the opposite sex and relationships in a totally different light. It really did open my eyes. I was in the dark so to speak. If i knew half of the stuff in there, maybe i could have a real loving, long-term relationship. And another thing, you know a book is mad good when you dont wanna put it down and you read it all in less than 2 days time. Even though hes not a professional author, that was one of the best non-fiction books i have read in a long time. From now on, ill have to keep those things in mind; his advice is priceless. If you havent read it yet, you must. Thats all i have to say. Until next time, Peace, Joy and Love.

Its been a min and i got alot on my mind......++

2009-06-14T15:11:00.002-04:00

Hey yall. I know its been a min. But a sisters been busy. I gotta get paid. LOL. Anyway i been practicing my driving, i been workin and i have been reading(unfortunately, school starts again soon so i gotta be on my A game) as well as workin on my cookin and bakin( i love some good food LOL). Well enough of that time to get to the point of this post.

I have been noticing some things I dont like so i feel the need to point them out:

1) Why does it seem like a girl has to have the perfect body? I mean seriously. If you dont have the biggest butt, bug-a-loos(breasts for yall that dont know LOL), or the thickest thighs or hips, you get pushed aside. Thats all you see in the videos. And another thing why every girl gotta have fake everything(hair, nails, eyelashes, etc etc.) to be accepted? Its a shame that you gotta do all that to get a man to notice you. Well at least it seems like it. I just wanna know what happened to the days when you could get away with being natural and a dude liked you for that? I guess those days are long gone.

2) Why does every dude i talk to (for the most part) only care about sex or if they dont talk about sex they talk about somethin else dumb that i dont care about. Maybe i need to stop talkin to those dudes and find some different dudes that are on my level. (but thats easier said than done)

3)Why is it so hard to stay focused when i know i got more important things to accomplish in my life? I do need to strike a balance between fun and work/school i guess. But its just hard. Ill either do the imp stuff or do whats fun. I guess im just too lazy and its summer time so that doesnt help. But excuses are for losers so i better get my life together. LOL

4)Why is it that when i want something i dont get it, but the things i dont want fall right into my lap? It's just weird. I guess god is tryna tell me something. Maybe what i want is not what i need.

5) Its so strange how you can be lonely and have people around.

6) Its crazy how people say they like you and what not but they dont call you, so i guess you're supposed to call them. And even when you do that they probably wont answer so um...im lost. Im gettin mixed signals. In this case, i just wanna say forget it, but for some reason i go against my better judgment and continue to waste time.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Here are some things i like:

7) Dudes who have facial hair(but not too much, it has to be smooth not all scruffy).

8) A man who can sing(theres something about a man with a melodic voice).

9) A man who can cook( thats just so sexy LOL).

10) A dude whos going somewhere in his life and he knows what he wants.

11) A man who pays attention and actually cares about how you feel.

12) A man who sees me for who i am and doesnt run away just b/c i have flaws.

===========================================================

CDS im really feeling right about now:(nothing like cds that you can play right through without skippin a track; they dont make many of those anymore)

13)neyo-year of the gentleman

14)jennifer hudson-jennifer hudson

15)musiq-on my radio

16)day 26-forever in a day

17)j holiday-round 2

18)ciara-fantasy ride

Well thats my piece. Be back with more next wk if i have time. Peace, Joy, and Love.

Reality

2009-06-03T18:19:00.000-04:00

Its amazing how i always complain about how bored i am. When there really is so much that i could be doing. And i always complain about how my life isnt as exciting as it should be (in my opinion), but some people arent blessed to still be alive and well right now, while god has blessed me to be alive and relatively healthy. I take that as a sign, that my work here on earth isnt done and it probably hasnt even begun. I take that to mean that i need to stop wasting the time i do have, b/c tomorrow isn't promised and i should cherish every moment. I also interpret that to mean that brighter days will come and as i mature and become wise i will realize that it's okay that my life isnt movie worthy. I just need to get out there and enjoy it regardless. I dont really know where im going with this. but i have noticed lately that im just extremely bored and my mom has even pointed it out too, in one way or another. She stated that i need to"stop waiting for the next moment and just enjoy the present and make my life exciting". That seems sort of true, i guess. I have heard that you control your destiny, so you choose the path you travel on in life. You direct your future. You make things happen. So like i have said before i need to stop being on "autopilot" in my life and take charge and go after what i want and expect. Because if i learned one thing, nothing comes free or falls out of the sky, if you want something, you gotta earn it or make it happen. Its a cold world out here and everybody is out to better themselves and acquire some wealth of their own. So i need to wake up and smell the roses.

I guess in a way i have been taking life for granted and not appreciating what i have done and accomplished. I keep looking for the next moment or the next thing, instead of enjoying the present. However, in reality you cant turn back time, and trust me there are many times that i wish i could. I need to learn to just be and thank the lord above for every waking moment and for his mercy and grace. Well thats just how i was feeling at the moment, i had something else in mind, but...i think ill save that for friday. See yall later. Peace, Joy, and LOve.

P.P./Randoms(time for another one LOL)

2009-05-27T19:29:00.000-04:00

Now, i havent done one of these in a while. But the way things are going, its time to get back up on my soapbox again. LOL Let's get to it.

1) Im so tired of having meaningless, pointless conversations. What happened to the days when people could hold an intriguing, interesting and intelligent conversation that kept my interest? Like i said before, these days, i might as well talk to myself. Shoot, the convo sure would be better. It seems like people DONT want to talk anymore or they dont know HOW to. I dont know which one it is, but its getting old real fast.

2) Im tired of having my guard up, and anticipating when a man is gonna hurt me b/c i know he will. Now that doesnt mean that all men will, however from my experiences, thats all i gather. I guess i just have to pray about it and trust that the next man wont, if hes the right one. Its like a friend of mine said, i wanna get close to the ones who do me wrong, but i push away the ones who actually care about me. I believe its time to just let the cards fall where they may so to speak. Being stubborn and heartless doesnt do anybody any good and if i continue to act that way, nobody will even try to talk to me ( :-( )

3) Im tired of being bored. But hopefully i wont be for long.

4)Im tired of being home. Theres absolutely nothing to do here.

5)Im tired of wasting time on people who arent worth my time.

6)Cant wait to start work. I have got to get out of this house.

7) I am so ready to get my license. Ill be even happier when i get my own car though LOL.

8) Im sittin here waitin for Tyler Perry's shows to come on....nothing good has been on all day...in fact i dont even like half of the crap on tv...tv is so stupid lately. They would make a show about pigs flying if they could. Seriously.

9) I need some excitement...maybe when i turn 21 something fun will happen. As long as im home it seems like life, well at the least the fun part is on hold...:-(

10) Well im even more bored than i was before i started, so its time to go do somethin. Hmm maybe ill be back with a poem later. who knows? might get some inspiration.. LOL. Well see yall later for now....Peace, Joy and Love

updatE....

2009-05-22T20:23:00.000-04:00

Life is goin great. Im so blessed and it's about time i realize it. I just got my learner's permit today. So hopefully by the end of this summer i'll have my license and yet another skill under my belt. I also got rehired at my old job today. I start next week. So the boredom spell is over for now. But sooner or later i know ill start getting tired of having somewhere to be. LOL. So june will consist of work, julyand most of august will consist of micro lab and work and then last not but least, i still have the daunting task of preparing for Jr YR. LOL. So i cant say that im bored anymore. I have a lot to occupy my time.

Anyway in other news, I have been a little fed up lately. People are so inconsistent. If you are gonna add me talk and be able to hold a decent conversation. I mean theres no point in having you take up space on my friends list if we dont even talk. Then there are others who do talk; however their vocabulary is limited and what they do say is incoherent. LOL. Well maybe i expect too much. But having high standards is not a bad thing. Otherwise you get trash. And i believe you get what you ask for. So i would rather do myself a favor and expect quality rather than trash. So therefore, i do have to be picky and analyze you to see what you are all about(men). But anyway, im still gonna do me regardless of what happens, b/c im the only one left in the end. So im gonna be self sufficient b/c god knows if you want something done right you better do it yourself. And if i dont do things for myself who will? LOL. It just seems like love always starts off nice and then ends in heartbreak for me. Thats why i feel as though i should just stay to myself. I mean is there even a point in believing in love anymore, it sure doesnt seem like it.

On a positive note, im continuing to grow so much. These days i almost scare myself with how truthful i am with people. I can be harsh. And i know it, but thats just me. besides what good does sugarcoating do anybody? Also for some reason people believe they can confide in me. And to tell the truth they are right. Because i tell the truth and im reliable. Im always there for my friends too. I never realized how wise i can be when im helping somebody else out, but when it comes to myself, i rarely listen to that same advice. I need to start practicing what i preach though. Everyday i learn something new and i need to try to use it to my advantage.

There are other things i wanna talk about but i just dont know how to put my thoughts into words on those particular topics or maybe i just dont want to go back to that place. However i will say that i never thought things would turn out the way they did. But i did grow immensely b/c of the outcome. I do wish that me and a certain person still talked. What can i do though? Its up to them. They have to take that first step. But yeah, thats about all i can think of...i know i have said this alot but its the truth. Well thats about it for today. See yall nxt wk. Peace, Joy, and Love

Realism(shoulda posted this months ago LOL wrote it in FEB)

2009-05-11T04:30:00.000-04:00

You know you kill me.

Talking about wanting a girl who’s the epitome of perfection.

But yet you fail to stop and take a look at your own flawed reflection.

You know I hate it .

When you try to change me.

Whatever I do isn’t good enough.

But I know I’m not to blame.

I’m not the one playing games.

Last time I checked you were the one pursuing a new girl every chance you got.

Just itchin and scratchin to find a broad to put in my spot.

But you know what, go head with your new broad.

I wish yall the best.

For her sake I hope she can endure your rigorous test.

Because the truth is it’s not about me.

It’s about all the problems you have that you fail to see.

But instead of dealing, you critique me like I’m the worst person you’ll ever meet.

Instead of tryna imply that I’m the reason why, and constantly making me wanna cry,

You need to look at yourself.

It would be wise, it’s for your own health.

Trust me I’m one of the best to cross your path.

You should have enjoyed it while it lasted.

But you probably won’t realize that til I’m long gone and with the next man who thinks I’m number one.

You never bring me up anymore, all you do is bring me down.

It’s like you live to see me with my head hanging down.

I tried to comply, But you wouldn’t even try.

You did what you always do, telling me lies.

I’m done now, I’m looking for the guy who can intrigue and surprise and light up my life like the stars in the sky.

The one who doesn’t mind compromise and will brighten up my day like the morning sunrise.

It’s too late now, but maybe next time you’ll learn.

That love isn’t just given, it’s something you have to earn.

Listen up Fellas

2009-05-11T02:57:00.006-04:00

I dont know how you think i was raised.
Or if you think by spitting your lines ill be fazed.

But whatever your distorted mentality tells you, it has got to be wrong.
Your ways are weak, but im strong.

If you think ill sit around and wait till you have found a good enough reason to be in my life.
You must be sadly mistaken if you think i would even contemplate being your wife.

With your overused logic.
And your selfish motives.

All you want is one thing.
And it does not come free.

You see im not talking about something that has monetary value.
What i possess is far more valuable than some currency.

It is meant for the one who truly loves me.
Not the one who thinks nothin of me.

Its meant for the one who sees right through my soul.
Not the one who seeks control.

Its meant for the one who loves my personality.
Not for the one who just wants to get inside of me.

Im not the one.
Move on to the next chick.

I have more respect for myself than she ever will.
And if what you desire is a girl with no dignity or self esteem, then you best look elsewhere.

I know that what you want to do would displease god.
But im all about pleasing god.

I know im worth more than one night or just a hit and quit.
Im the girl you take home to your mama and settle down wit.

So fellas dont get it twisted.
When you try to step to me.

If you come correct.
Maybe you'll see some reciprocity.

Recap/UPDate

2009-05-09T16:31:00.003-04:00

>> Recap of my first two years; Looking forward to the next two and beyond:

Well here I am at the end of my first two years of college. I can’t say that it was anything like I thought it would be. However, it sure wasn’t a disappointment. I have met so many amazing and diverse people. I have grown and matured so much. I have learned a lot too. One of the first things I learned was the skill of time management. Without that, I don’t think I would have survived these first two years. I also learned how to prioritize, which helped me get the most important things done first. I learned how to be organized and stay focused, which was one of the hardest things to do, believe me. I learned to be assertive and go after what I wanted. I learned how to be honest with myself and others. I learned how to work hard and not give up, even when I felt like there was no end in sight and the road ahead was dark. I learned how to trust in god and believe that he would guide me in the right direction and be with me through all my trials and tribulations. I learned how to be a friend in order to have a friend. I learned how to have fun and let loose a little bit. I learned how to be happy on my own. I learned how to be independent and strong, in order to do things for myself. I learned the importance of getting things done early, in order to avoid the consequences of not being punctual. I learned to be myself and trust that the right people would appreciate that, and that the people who didn’t like me didn’t matter. I learned to see things for what they are and not let small petty things faze me. I learned that sometimes in life you fall down, but if you get back up again, you aren’t a failure. The only way you can be a failure is if you don’t get back up. I also learned that nothing worth having comes easy, anything worth having takes hard work and determination. It has been such a fulfilling and exciting experience and im sure the 2 years I have left will be no different. Sure when finals week came up and all throughout the semester, my classes were very difficult and they tested my strength and my willpower, and they stressed me out more than I ever thought possible. But in the end, I know all that stress, and sleep deprivation, studying, and endless deadlines will be worth it. I also know that I will come out as a better person because of it.

++The next two years:
In the next two years, I hope that I will learn even more things. I hope that I will become even more mature. I hope that I will learn from my mistakes and realize that they aren’t set-backs, they are stepping stones to the future. I hope I will stay focused and continue to work hard to achieve my goals and strive to excel in all my classes. Also I hope that no matter what obstacles are placed in my way, I will overcome them. So, by the grace of god, all these things will come to fruition. I still can’t believe that I will be a junior in September. Those two years went by in a flash. I guess you don’t realize how fast things are going when you’re busy trying to pass your classes. I have met some amazing people who I consider friends and I hope we will still keep in touch after college. I have also taken some amazing classes and some not so amazing ones, but nonetheless, I will never forget all that I have been through.

+++++++++++++++UPdate++++++++++++++++++++

I’m back! LOL. I know I’ve been gone for a while. But yeah school has been hectic and very stressful. But I got through sophomore year and I’m proud of myself. I accomplished a lot this year too. I’m finally recovering. LOL. Im so tired and drained. But the upside is I only have 2 more years left. I have grown up so much and learned even more.
I have been thinking a lot lately. I have been thinking about love and life and where exactly they match up. For example, can you have a life without being in love, or vice versa? God made me see that he has all the love that I need. As long as I have his love, ill be okay. He also made me realize that in due time, when he sees fit, he’ll bless me with the right person that was made just for me and nobody else. Maybe the truth is that without love in your heart for something, there truly is no life. They go hand in hand. Like Jaz Sullivan says, “I can’t see a life without love”. And that’s true. So from here on out, I’m going to have love in my heart and live life to the fullest, doing what I love and I’m going to do my best to please God. I know there may be many obstacles in my way and there may be many things that I do that don’t please god, but I know in the end, if I ask for forgiveness and acknowledge that I was wrong, everything will be okay.

I have also been thinking about how strong you can be when the circumstances call for it. For example, there were a lot of times when I wanted to fall out from sheer exhaustion but because I saw the future, which has so many possibilities and so much to enjoy, I didn’t. I got back up again. But I wasn’t alone, I had God on my side; telling me that I was meant for a greater purpose and that I need to fulfill it. He also told me that whenever the path looks dark, he’ll be there to light the way. That and many other scriptures from the good book, gave me the strength to keep going. And because I didn’t lie down in the face of adversity, today I am a better person.

Another thing running through my mind is the fact that this year has been stressful. But as much as I want to lie down and do nothing, I’m going to be productive this summer. Just as I was productive this semester. I was in a poetry café, I performed twice;I did a solo and a group performance. I met a lot of interesting people. I did fun things. I learned a lot about myself and others. It was just a really good year. So this summer, I plan to learn how to drive(yeah I know what you’re thinking dag, she doesn’t have her license, but to yall I say, you try going to nursing school, when you’re in nursing school, all other desires must be put to the side LOL) , I plan to work and get this money together for books for next semester and splurge on me, and I plan to take a class, unfortunately :-(. Then, finally above all, I plan to grow even more and become a better person mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The next two years are going to require some maturity, some will power, and hard work, so I better brace myself LOL.

Well as you can see, I have been through a lot, but it has truly helped me change for the better. Well I can’t think of nothing else to say. So I’m gone till next week, see yall :-). Peace, Joy and Love.

Thoughts....>

2009-04-15T19:40:00.002-04:00

OOOh you dont know my name and i swear it feels like ooohhhh you dont know my name LOL> i was watchin the throwback you dont know my name by alicia keys. I had to type that.. LOL I love that song. But anyway. Its Wednesday again so im back with another one Lets just get to it.

1) Im so ready for this semester to be over. I have like 6 tests, a project, a lab report, a case study and a quiz all in the next few weeks. And on top of that i have a concert this sunday and im goin to be in a poetry cafe next wednesday :-). I think i might be getting over my nervousness in that respect. Like i dont even close my eyes anymore when i say my poems, i just try to make eye contact with the audience. I feel so good when i get up there and just say it. I love my poems. I think they are hot,however i cant waiT til next wednesday is over so i can stop saying them LOL.

2) Im kinda annoyed right now b/c i have to study nursing all night, however i dont feel like it. Im not focused. i was focused earlier but it seems like everytime i come back from dinner i dont feel like doin anything. I guess thats the -'itis getting to me LOL. Oh well, ill get focused eventually, i always do.

3) Life is okay, but im ready for a serious break. Nursing school is taking over my life. All im doing this summer is one day of cpr certification and then im gon get that work in babY LOL. Im ready to be employed again. Even though i would rather crawl into bed and not come out until like 2 days before fall semester starts. LOL.

4) BET is getting cornier by the minute LOL. The only good thing on 106 & Park is Wild Out Wednesday and Freestyle Friday, the rest of the wk is dry as the sahara. LOL. The only thing worth payin attention other than that is the good videos. And videos are gonna be extinct soon too.

5) random moment: hop up out the bedddd turn my swaggg onnn, take a look in the mirror say whats up....yeah...gettin money...LOL the song is empty except for the hook LOL. Thats the only part worth listening to. But its okay if you like that kinda thing.

6) Well im kinda bored. I wish i could sleep but nope, thats out of the question.

7)Yo...im seriously gon try not to be hype when day 26 come up here next wk. I love them. They have some original songs that are hot. LOL. Not many groups are hot these days. That will be a well needed break. and i know i better get there early or risk not having a seat at all. LOL.

8) OH yeah another thing, this rain is in the way. Its like it rains every single day. Its kinda gloomy. But it is good sleeping weather, If i coulD sleeP LOL. I wish it would stop. This weather is not characteristic of spring at all.

9) The other day i was thinking about my goals in life. And i have established some, but its about time i revise them and update them. I also need to work on bringing those goals to fruition. And today at dinner my friends were having an interesting convo, and that made me think too. I was like dag what are my goals? I need to seriously have some concrete goals and start thinking about my future. I need to think beyond tomorrow. Because in reality, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

10) I need to pray and maybe just maybe ill make it to may 6th. LOL. i just gotta believe in myself and study hard.

11) Omg man i still think thats so sad that aaliyah had to die. i know if she was alive today, she would still be at the top of the charts. she has some hot songs...like if first you dont succeed, dust yourself off and try again....LOL. I love that song..the throwback video just came on.

12)Yo....im so hype right now. LOL. I guess its the music getting into my system LOL.

13) I miss some of my old peoples but since they dont seem to miss me...oh well. You cant waste time worrying about people who dont care about you. Life goes on.

14) I better start studyin soon before im up til like 4am. Its that crucial LOL.

Well thats enough randomness for one day. See yall later.

More of my thoughts.......

2009-04-10T16:58:00.000-04:00

Well its friday again and you know what that means. Another blog from me. No bs, just realism and whatever thoughts come to mind. Yall know how i do. Lets get to it.

1) Well i know ive said this before but im so happy its the wknd. It has been a long week. But by no means does that mean i get to totally relax. I have a test in less than two wks, in foundations, one of my hardest classes. So all wknd, im gonna be busy tryna keep up with that. Just 3 more weeks.

2) Im so bored right now its not even funny. Well i have a birthday comin up, and maybe just maybe things will get a lil more exciting. Ill be the big 2-0 in about 5 months!! Lets see what that brings. My mama steady sayin she cant believe that its been twenty yrs since i was born. LOL. she probably wants me to be a baby forever. LOL. Shoot at this point in time, i wouldnt mind. Life is hard when you get grown. People, including me, always say i cant wait to be grown but what we all fail to realize is that, it doesnt get easier, it just gets harder. More responsibility, stress, heartache, and more stuff to do. Its a never ending cycle with no breaks. Because whether you're ready or not life goes on, it waits for noone.

3) I never realized just how much i love watchin movies. Its like movies, well particularly romantic comedies, take you to another world, because in cinema, it seems like things always end up the way that they want. And we all know that doesnt happen in real life, so its nice to live in a fantasy world for 2 or 3 hrs and get a break from real life where you arent likely to get what you want most of the time.

4) There are many days when i just wanna curl up in bed and do nothing. But i know that when i give up, im not only hurting myself, im hurting my family and the ones that come after me. So that, my faith in god, and the fact that im determined to be somebody and have my own, instead of being a bum and living at home forever, keeps me going. I have two more years so i might as well study hard, have fun and make the most of this opportunity that many people arent so blessed to partake in.

5) Its funny how im getting so much attention lately. Like there was a time when i didnt get compliments everyday, but now thats an every day occurrence, and despite the fact that i now readily acknowledge the truth of their words(well they are true most of the time LOL), my cynicism and my intuition deters me from entirely giving in. Im just trying not to get hurt and im tired of lies. So since its hard to distinguish btwn those who really care and those who are just out to get some, i would rather play it cool, stay neutral and do me. Now when a man comes along that can show me that i shouldnt be this way and he has a valid reason for being interested, then maybe ill change my mind. But just as there are no guarantees in life, i dont make any guarantees either.

6) Music is my lifeline. It keeps me sane, its creative, versatile, rhythmic, consistent, real, truthful,reliable, interesting, and easy to relate to. I may have said this before but its the truth so whatever. LOL.

7)Im bored. I should go back to school. Its so boring here, the only thing to do is sleep, eat, watch tv or be on the pC, at least i can walk around campus at school LOL.

8) Why are they playin all these throwbacks on the radio? I mean they are oldies and goodies, but seriously though? LOL

9) I cant wait to start workin this summer. im tired of being broke LOL. too bad i have to take cpr classes too..LOL i never get a break :-( but like everybody says it will pay off in the long run. I guess later on i can take a break, and have lovely vacations at some sunny beach resort LOL.

10) Still wondering......but oh well. i guess i should just forget it.

Well thats where im at. see yall next wk.

Just my thoughts....

2009-04-08T19:28:00.001-04:00

Well i can never find any good quotes so if you been paying attention, you know im done doing Q.O.T.W., and lately i cant find any really good lyrics so im done with L.I.F. too i guess LOL. If anything yall will hear the latest songs on my page as usual LOL. In case yall didnt know i treat that playlist like a ipod..LOL. Anyway...on to some things that are on my mind.

1) Im so glad i finally got a B on a micro test. I guess now i know what it takes to pass. I have to actually read, and review thoroughly for that class instead of being lazy LOL. It just seems like me and sleep wont be seeing much of each other, studying is my life and, i can never have any real breaks, b/c just when i take a break, something else comes up for me to do.

2) I love poetry. It allows me to express myself freely and it's so much fun to hear people's feedback. I just hope i can get over my nerves and deliver my poems well b/c im supposed to perform in like 3 weeks. I think i can do it. I just have to stop thinking about it so much. LOL

3) Im so bored. I know what i could be doing, but do i really wanna fry my brain even more? Seriously my head is killing me from all that cramming. And its not like i can help it because thats how the syllabus goes for these classes.

4)Life is better when you are independent. It really is. When you are independent, it seems like nothing phases you, you dont have to worry about what others are doing, and you can just do you, which is the best thing to do b/c in the end you're the only one left anyway.

5) I wish i was on a break right now. Too bad my break was a month ago. LOL. I really could use one right about now. Nothin to stress over, nothing to do, no deadlines, no worries. Well maybe that will happen, um, when i graduate LOL.

6) I wish the caf would have some real food. The stuff they have is a pathetic excuse for food. Seriously. It only tastes good like once in a blue moon.

7) Maybe this summer i will take a break and just get this CPr certification, and work. Then i can just juggle the extra free elective during spring of my junior year. I mean they say you should get those out of the way, however i wanna have at least one class i like, and i want my summer off LOL.

8) Im really enjoyin the single life. But i really do wish i could find a good man that could be consistent and keep it real with me. However, at this point, i dont even know if i have time to keep up with a relationship. School is too hectic. And i barely have time for sleep and chillin, so how would i have time for a man? I guess i'll just chill out. I also believe that this time alone is helping me grow. I can really see the differences in myself.

9) I wanna do something fun. But idk what to do. Life is so boring, it needs some spice, pronto. LOL

10) I miss the days when life was simple, it also seemed more exciting somehow then. LOL.

Well thats where i am, im growing up, im living and learning more everyday, im tired and bored, and well thats about it for this wk. See yall later.

Q.O.T.W.(just randoms)

2009-04-03T21:59:00.001-04:00

Lets just jump into the thoughts LOL.

1) Im so bored right now its not even funny. And i know i got a test to study for but im not even focused. I think i might take a nap b/c im tired and then study all night until the morning. Because i gotta pass this test and i want a B for once in this class. Its really one of those take the 75 and run classes. But i wanna finish strong LOL. So im gonna do what it takes to get that grade.

2)I love music. Since men aren't that consistent right now, thats my boyfriend LOL. It never lets me down.

3)I am so happy to see the wknd this week. It has been a long week. And i really just wanna sleep but i can tell that might not happen all weekend LOL. seriously.

4) I love these movies man....Getting played and movies like two can play that game are the truth. They do the kinda stuff that i wish i could get away with in real life. LOL.

5) Next semester is no joke. This is officially my last semester to slack. The time for chilling is over. Its gonna be my junior year and i have all nursing classes and i have clinicals. I dont know how im gonna make it but god willing i will because i came this far and i cant turn back now. If i just believe in myself i can do anything. From now here on out, i ReallY dont have a life. Shoot, certain people thought i was busy before and its only gonna get worse so me and my books are gonna be real good friends...shoot they might replace music as my bf. LOL

6) Life is good right about now. Certain aspects of my life could be a lil better but im dealing.

7)Im so glad that the right person won the Free Style Friday finale. He is so cute LOL and hes creative and original. Now the other rapper was original too, however he was a lil too specific when he was gettin on the winner and i think that was his downfall, he wasnt generic enough. But really, they were both cute, but the winner was the better lyricist and it showed. I cant wait til he comes out with a Cd. he is fire. LOL

8)Ill be so happy when may of double 1 gets here. I really cant wait to graduate. I really like school. Its just that it makes me so tired and keeps me so busy. But in the long run its gonna pay off and if i get reimbursed, im coming back for a masters and possibly another bachelors. And im also gonna have to take continuing ed anyway so ill never get away from school really. I guess thats not such a bad thing though, ill be really, really, smart. LOL.

9)I want a wrap again, braids get nappy too fast LOL. Im just tryna let my hair grow a lil more first. But i know when i finally get a wrap again, my hair is gonna be butter and hopefully healthier. LOL.

10)I really wish that i knew why certain people act like they do. Even though i know i shouldnt care b/c they dont care about me. I guess i have my answer they dont care.

Well thats it. Im bored, tired and stressed all at the same time. And theres so many thoughts runnin through my head but im just gon keep those to myself. Thats too much for a blog LOL.

L.I.F(randoms instead)

2009-04-01T22:12:00.003-04:00

Well yall, its been a long day. Sorry im late but i had mad fun doing what i was doing. LOL Anyway, im too lazy to look for songs so here goes another random.

1) I had a really good day. Things started out blah but the day ended on a lovely note. But here is where the day goes back to blah i got some stuff to do. In order to pass, i best get started so i can get to bed before the morning.

2) Im actually starting not to dread lab day so much. I guess im getting used to it like a friend who's a year ahead of me said. But i know what i am dreading, registration. I have got to get the classes i want or ill be mad all over again. This better not be a repeat of the registration for this semester. I only got 3 of the 6 classes i had to take whEN i wanted them.

3) Well im really growing up. A lot of things that would have bothered me before are starting not to phase me. I dont think much can erase this smile off my face. Im feeling good.

4) College is cool but you know what would make it so much better? If work and reading was eliminated and we had free reign to procrastinate and do what we pleased. LOL Yeah right like that will ever happen. But what if somebody created a college like that and no matter how old you were, you could kinda check in whenever life got to be too much and just feel free to procrastinate.

5) Music is so addictive and no matter how much or what im listenin to, it never seems to get old. It can always make me dance and feel good and it just takes me to another world where nothing even matters. LOL speakin of that..i love that song by LAuryn hill. she can sing her butt off..LOL.

6) This semester is like so gone, LOL. We only have five wks but it still seems like theres so much time left at the same time. If that makes any sense. I want it to be over, but at the same time, i have at least one class to take this summer, which will take up 6 wks of my summer and i want to work, and then school will start all over again before i know it so im not really looking forward to all that. I guess i just have to deal with the fact that from here on out, as much as i hate it, there wont be many more breaks for me. Its time to grow up and be busy all the time.

7) Every now and then i find myself thinking about the past and what could have been or what could still be but then i realize that the past is just that, the past and it should stay that way. Unless fate decides against it.

8) Im so happy to be better. That sick stuff wasnt workin for me. LOL. So from now on, even though its kinda hard to get a good nights sleep and not study my life away, im gon try to get more sleep b/c lets face it i love sleep, and im gonna take more breaks so i wont go insane or get sick again. LOL

9) Right now im just chillin, but i know sooner or later, i have to be productive for the remainder of the day b/c this stuff wont complete itself. LOL

10)I love blogging. LOL its so much fun to be random and say whatever i please.

Well ive said enough. Thats where im at though, im growin up, im keepin it real, im living and learning and enjoying school as hard as it is. LOL Im just living my life like its golden LOL. See yall next wk.

Q.O.T.W.(just randoms)

2009-03-27T16:52:00.003-04:00

You know what? forget quotes. from now on im just doin randoms its more original and fun anyway. Plus i never find anything good anymore. so here it goes.

1) Im sick of being sick and this crazy weather dont help me either. I cant wait til i get rid of this annoying cold!!

2) Im sick of fake people and people who consider me in an afterthought. If you dont like me or you dont care about me, dont even come around b/c life is too short to waste on people who dont like you or dont care.

3)The semester is goin so fast, but at the same time it feels like its moving at a snail's pace.

4)Sometimes i wish i could just lay in bed all day and not go anywhere. But in reality i cant because theres too much to be accomplished and lifes too short to waste precious time.

5) Im glad its finally friday but then it hits me that i have to read for like all my classes because just as quickly as the week ended and all the dreaded tests were over with, more tests are fast approaching and the wk starts all over again in 3 days.

6) I miss the days when i did my homework or i read something and bam i passed.

7) I also miss the days when my mama did everything for me, but now i realize that i have to grow up even though some days i really wish i could freeze right here and right now and not get any older or any younger. LOL.

8) I really like the lyrics to india arie's "just for today". theres this one line i really should learn to live by: I dont know whats gonna happen but thats alright with me. I open up my arms and i embrace the mystery. I love love lovE that. I believe that if i said to myself, and stopped worrying about things that havent even happened yet, life would go so much smoother.

9)I been thinkin alot lately and i realize that some things just arent meant to be so therefore i should just embrace whatever i got coming and deal with it.

10) I really dont understand why people assume that you always have to be in a group. Like why isnt it okay, just for a day to wanna sit by yourself and think about things and not have to make conversation. Sometimes you need that peace and quiet to figure things out and just for your own sanity. And sometimes its not even voluntary isolation. Common sense tells you, if a table is full, you sit somewhere else until some room becomes available or whatever the case may be. Point blank. Dont get me wrong i like hanging out with people but i like my space too sometimes. Simple as that.

11)Men are interesting creatures who never cease to amaze me and constantly force me to rethink my philosophies and theories on what goes on inside their heads. Although i may never figure out exactly why men do everythinG that they do, i think i will gain a considerable amount of incite, just by paying attention. LOL

12) Sometimes you dont realize how blessed you are until you are informed of someone else's situation.

13) It takes alot to admit when you are wrong or that you did or said something that wasnt so nice. But when you do finally admit that, you feel better and the person will probably respect you more for that.

14) Im bored right now, even though i could be reading before dinner LOL.

15) Its amazing how they expect you to come to all this stuff on campus that costs money and some of us dont have it like that. I know i dont LOL.

16) Why do people talk so loud that you can hear their entirE conversation through these thin walls? LOL

17) I love profs who tell you just what you need to pass and dont waste the whole period..LOL

18) I love sleep...from now on, im gonna try to get more LOL.

19) I really miss a certain person but oh well.

20) I guess its time to forgive and forget. I have already done one. you guess which one..

Well thats where im at, im bored, im tired, im sick, and im a lil annoyed for more than a couple of reasons. But yeah ill live and life goes on, it dont stop for no one. Be back next week.

L.I.F(randoms instead)

2009-03-25T18:07:00.001-04:00

Well there are no lyrics i like this wk. So im just gon write off the dome.

1) I hate being sick. I swear im never studyin that much again. Its like im extra tired, i got the sniffles, my head hurts and i have the chills periodically. I never realized how much sleeping crazy hours and not goin to bed at a consistent time can mess with your immune system. Mines is all thrown off at this point LOL. But its nothing i cant shake off in a few days, just the average cold.

2) Im really starting to hate school. Like i like being at school. But i just never feel like goin to class. Dont get me wrong i love to learn. Im just ready for a break. But i really dont think that will be coming anytime soon, since im going to take some free electives for like a month this summer and im trying to work too. Guess i wont get a break till i graduate.

3) I really wish i had some money. I been sayin this for the longest, But i feel like im gon be in a "permanent recession" till i graduate and start working b/c im always broke until the summer gets here or my gmom or somebody else blesses me with some money LOL.

4) Im learning so much about the opposite sex. Maybe i will go into detail about that one day. who knows? LOL

5) Im so bored. I want some excitement. Nothing ever happens around here LOL.

6) Life is so much easier when you dont let nothing phase you. When you let stuff get to you, thats when the problems start.

7) I just wanna go far away from here, far away from here, just jump in a taxi cab, pack my bags and get away fast. LOL i wish i could.

8) There are lots of things i wish i understood right now, but i really dont think i ever will.

9) I wish things didnt have to change but i guess i was due for some change.

10) If feelings werent created life would be so much easier.

Im kinda rambling now, so i guess im done till next wk. LOL. Thats where im at though. Im bored, im contemplating a lot. Im living and im learning. Peace, Joy and love. :-)

L.I.F.

2009-03-18T15:06:00.003-04:00

Hey yall, this wk i finally found some lyrics to post that i liked LOL

>> Pussycat Dolls: I hate this part( i love this song, the lyrics are interesting and they are killin it :) )

We're driving slow through the snow on 5th Avenue
And right now radio's all that we can hear
Now we ain't talk since we left, it's so over due
It's cold outside but between us
The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts
I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you
I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here
Everyday, 7 takes of the same old scene
Seems we're bound by the laws of the same routine
Gotta talk to you now 'fore we go to sleep
But will we sleep once I tell you
The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts
I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you
I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here
I know you'll ask me to hold on
And carry on like nothing's wrong
But there is no more time for lies
'Cause I see sunset in your eyes
I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you
That I gotta do it,
I gotta do it,
I gotta do it
I hate this part
I gotta do it,
I gotta do it,
I gotta do it
I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take these tears
I hate this part right here

**Ryan Leslie ft jadakiss: How it was supposed to be remix(Im really feelin this beat and the lyrics are so hot. i think jadakiss made this song hotter!!)

Rap 1: Jadakiss Uh Yea Yo My heart got my mind trapped in

Tryna find somethin' out that ain't gon' happen

Honey jus' jumped ship and left the captain Guess that's the repercussions of my actions

Yeah, And its making me furious cuz I'm so curious

After you lose somethin' you realize its serious

Meanwhile im strecthin' the time out Sitting here wondering if you'll ever find out

C'mon

Verse 1: Ryan Leslie Fresh like the kiss of morning dew

That's how it felt that day we met

When I first laid eyes on you

Its like you walked right up out my fantasy

And then you left that day Girl why did you abandon me

Baby you'll see, that you'll

Chorus: And i wonder if you'll ever find out how it was supposed to be baby

Said i wonder if you'll ever find out how it was supposed to be baby

Verse 2: Ryan Leslie Now when I think back to the days you were mine

Oh how I wish I could flip the switch To turn back the hands of time aw, baby

But you were the one that made me real

Now that your gone Tell me what in the world am i s'pose to feel

Without you here with me

Chorus: And I wonder if you'll ever find out how it was suppose to be

Said I wonder if you'll ever find out how it was suppose to be

Bridge: Listen Something tells me I been robbed

Of the love I felt that you should've given

Never thought you would leave me on my own

But I see that's its over

And I hope one day your mine

Rap 2: Jadakiss Yo heavy behind the tints red carpet events

The way we crushin' the buildin' don't even make sense

Paparazzi always wanna poly when you fresh Gucci on the frames, Cavali on the dress His and her bling, king and the queen

Coming through clean doin' his and her thing

That's just thoughts of how it coulda been shoulda been

Till I figure it out, its back to the hood again

Whos ever heart cant be broke, can be cracked

But imma handle it like a G, and G Mack

Still brainstorming see the sunshine

But the rain still forming

Pains getting stronger

Cant really pin point where it went wrong and All i know is that I shoulda seen it all along

And Maybe I need a different approach with me

To find out how it really was suppose to be

Chorus: And I wonder if you'll ever find out how it was supposed to be baby (uh will we ever find i wonder)

Said I wonder if we'll ever find out how it was supposed to be baby ( I wonder)

And I wonder if you'll ever find out how it was supposed to be baby ( Said I wonder)

Said I wounder if we'll ever find out how it was suppose to be baby (Uh Yeah)

++The Dream ft Mariah carey: My love(this song is so hot, it seems like everything he comes out with lately is hot and he has the craziest beats; and we all know anything mariah on is a banga LOL)

[The Dream]

Radio Killa did a song with the American Dream

They can't put it down like this, no no no no

On my baby

she my shorty

Oh, we rockin

They gotta trip all up on their breath

They hate on us

Now who’s right there every time you cry?

Gonna sleep and wake up on your side?

Endless love I'll always provide

They hatin on us and you should know why

But who’s been lovin you lately?

Who’s willing to go half on the baby?

Who who who’s trying to flag our ship?

They just tryin to get the love you give

But baby,

[Chorus] Tell me what they know about my love (my love) [x8]

[Mariah Carey] So they don’t understand why I'll never leave you Explain my love?

I don’t need to Get everybody way up in our business

Cuz lovin each other stay on their wish list

I see them reachin everytime you call me baby

They on my back like a shirt, get off me baby

They don’t love me, let them wonder why im Here to stay and they going bye bye

Who’s the one calling you baby

Who’s in love with your ass like crazy?

Who who who’s gonna flag our ship?

They just tryna get the love u give baby

Tell me what they know about my love (my love)[x8]

My love is your love

There ain’t nothing in this world

that they can do to make me give you up

Oh baby you will always be my girl so let them do whatever, say whatever

Cuz I ain't givin her up

Tell me what they know about my love (my love) [x8]

}}Karina: First Love( im in love with this song LOL it is the truth.)

You're there for me, through all of my ups and downs

And what I feel you always seem to know

You find the words, when I need comforting

And dry my eyes, that's why I love you so

More than a friend you're my first love

I can always depend on my first love

I feel like I have known you all my life

I can't explain how close we are

When something's wrong, you know how to make it right

That's why you stay close to my heart

You are more than a friend you're my first love

I can always depend on my first love(Yeah yeah yeah yeah)(Just fine)

Cause you are my very first love

Sweet, my first kiss goodnight

You're the beat of my heart music

My very first love

More than a friend you're my first love

I can always depend on my first love

With you in my life I'm not lonely at all

And if there were tears (yeah) you'd catch them all

Cause you know my pain, and you know my joy

There's no secrets between us only pretty piano chords

You are more than a friend you're my first love(Send chills up my spine)

I can always depend on (music) my very first love

Sweet, I can't denyIt's in my heartMusic, my very first love

I sing because I'm happy but music sets me free

You're sweet lullaby a first kiss goodnight

The beat of my heart music, my very first love(Oh Oh Oh)

You are more than a friend you're my first love

I can always depend on my first love

You are more than a friend you're my first love

I can always depend on my first love(Woah oh)My first love

Well thats it for this wk. Im in a love song kinda mood and those songs are the truth. i can listen to these cuts a million times and still love them. See yall.

Q.O.T.W.(randoms...again this wk....)

2009-03-13T19:36:00.002-04:00

Just sitting here chillin. For some reason there havent been any quotes lately so i am forced to resort to randoms. LOL. but its not a bad thing b/c i like writing off the top of my head.

1) Well im always happy to see the wknd get here. But today it seems extra special. I dont know why.

2) It has been a good week, even though it was kinda stressful. I still made it, but it was only by the grace of god. Thats the only way.

3) Im bored. But its all good. I shouldnt be bored for long. I have a feeling tonight is gonna pop, one way or the other LOL.

4) Still thinkin about that blog idea....i dont know if i wanna do it though. Its a good idea but some people, namely some dudes might have a problem with it. But hey its my blog and i dont write it for nobody but me. If people choose to read it oh well.

5) I think after yesterday's labs, i like my major again. Its interesting, yet challenging. Its hard but i know i can do it if i really try and stop being lazy.

6) OMG freestyle friday is the best... its march mayhem and all these dudes got some hot lines but for real, its crazy how they can tell when the dude aint freestyling..LOL i guess its kinda easy if they just spitting with out pausin, and it comes across effortless, then you know they wrote that rap before hand and memorized it. LOL. regardless, they hot. Im kinda curious as to why there arent any female rap battles? they must think females cant go hard like that. LOL. But i mean look at eve, foxy, lil kim. they all do they thing so im sure its some newbies out there thats dyin for the chance to be the next them. they should give them a chance. Basically thats the only reason to watch the show during the week. every other day is boring unless somebody come through b/c they act too hype and corny.LOL and somedays they cant dress. terrence instigate too much too.

7) original quote: life is full of disappointments, but you just gotta learn to bounce back like a rubber band

8) original quote: No matter what happens, im doing me. whoever wanna be in my life can get with it or get lost.

9)ok see yall next week or later. might post that post i been talkin about all week who knows. maybe some thoughts will pop into my head.

10) still keepin hope alive about a certain situation and its outcome, but there are no guarantees in this life, so whatever happens, happens.

Well thats where im at this wk, loving life, tryna do what i have to do to be successful, and having fun at the same time. Thats what i do. LOL

L.I.F.(randoms instead)

2009-03-11T15:22:00.003-04:00

1) Well, today was a good day, just boring as usual.

2) I cant wait to graduate. It seems like i never have free time anymore. And really its not like ill have that much free time when i start working either.

3)Even though men continue to perplex me more each day, i still love the sexy ones LOL. I am now convinced that men are just a mystery that isnt meant to be solved. Im not supposed to understand. I should just enjoy the encounters i have and stop reading so much into everything. Now some of yall men out there might say that the same could be said for women, however if you take the time to get to know us, you just might understand us.

4) Ughh...i really need to get my study on. It seems like every time i turn around i have another test to get ready for. And it wouldnt hurt if i read more...but its not that much fun reading upwards of 100pgs for lectures. LOL. Maybe i have ADD or maybe im just incredibly bored and prone to distraction.

5) I think im really growing up. Despite my laziness at times, and how stubborn i can be, im learning to say what i think and be a better person. The way i see it, for every bad trait i have, theres a good one to balance it out.

6) Im so bored right now its not even funny. and im tired so i dont know how im gonna be productive later on.

7) I miss a certain someone. But its clear they totally forgot about me and moved on with their life, because they dont want anything to do with me. Or at least thats how i feel. But even feeling like that, i pray for that person and wish that they will be happy and have a good life. I just wish i still had a part to play in it, even if it is insignificant. Thats how much i love that person, despite all the stuff we have been through.

8) When people tell me things about myself, it intrigues me because i never knew i was like that and im cool with it, or i realize that something needs to change. I wouldnt say im conceited, but i do like to know what people think about me LOL. I guess it gives me "guidelines", if you will, on how to be better than i am. I like to hear people's opinions, but its still my choice whether i keep their thoughts in mind or not. My thing is if nobody tells me about myself, how can i get better? Its like they say, a closed mouth dont get fed.

9) cant wait to watch AI and ANtm tonight, sure seems more exciting than my life...LOL.

10) im thinkin of writing a different kind of blog, it'll probably be redundant or contradict what i have been told about a particular topic, but its my opinion, nobody said it was law. Ill post that soon, as soon as i figure out what to say LOL

Couldnt find any songs i liked this week. There are still good songs out there. But, i probably already posted most of them. LOL. See yall later.

randoms

2009-03-06T19:44:00.001-05:00

Well i dont really see any quotes that peak my interest so im gon just go with the flow.

1) I hate bein home its entirely too boring. i mean its not like school is the most exciting place in the world but its way better than being here.

2) i cant wait til im legal. maybe life will get more exciting then. plus ill be done with school.

3)Music and writing is my life. It feels like i should have chosen one of those as a major but everybody knows neither is lucrative unless you have a foot in the door of some popular company. So therefore i went with a lucrative and challenging career like nursing. I figure i can do something involving music and writing on the side. Maybe ill be a song writer. Maybe ill review songs who knows what the future holds.

4) It annoys me that i can never do what i need to do lately but i can always do what i love to do. I really think this has a lot to do with #3. LOL

5) It would be lovely if i won the lottery right about now. At this point in my life. I need money and im kinda in a lazy mood that doesnt seem to be goin anywhere. But eventually ill get on track b/c reality will slap me in the face. LOL

6)Even though this summer will be busy i cant wait. Ill have to take some summer classes to get some free electives out of the way and i think ill be workin and doin a bunch of other stuff too, but i think ill still have fun.

7)Lately ive become more spiritual and i think that it is paying off. I feel happier knowing that im forming a bond with the man upstairs. Hes really the only one i should be worried about pleasing, to tell the truth.

8) Im so bored right now its not even funny. Of course theres tons of reading to do but thats not what i wanna do LOL.

9) I really wanna be friends with a certain person but it doesnt seem like thats possible. So i guess ill give up.

10) I have alot of unanswered questions floating around in my head for instance:
i cant understand dudes for the life of me; why is it not okay to be friends and get to know somebody beforehand and also conversely, why is it that when you do give in and just be with someone, why cant you be friends anymore afterwards? Like you dont know that you are goin to miss that person immensely even though you dont admit it?

Well thats all i can think of right now. Or at least all i feel like writing. See yall later. :-)

L.I.F.

2009-03-04T21:27:00.002-05:00

**Rihanna: Hatin on the Club (I absolutely love this song. Its hot!)

oh woahhhoo oh oh(x2)

oh

Now this'll be the last time you did me wrong
No more laying up in your arms
No calling, saying you want me back
I'm packing my bags, what you think about that?

Stayed at home like a good girl do
But tonight baby you got me sad and blue
I just heard about the girl in your car yall, kissing at the bar
Got me cry-yay-yay-yayyyy

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhhhhhh, you got me hatin' on the club
'Cause you took my love
Oh you took my love
Now you got me like whoahhhhhhhh
You got me hatin' on the club
'Cause you took my love
Why'd you have to take my love
Whoahhhhhhhh

oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oho(x2)

oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oho,uh,oho,uh,oho,uh,oho,uh

oho oh

And you can be mad at me all you want
I ain't coming in, I'll be waiting out front
Coming out the door with your girlfriend
You did me wrong boy tell me where our love is

Stayed at home like a good girls do
But tonight baby you got me sad and blue
I just heard about the girl in your car yall, kissing at the bar
Got me cry-yay-yay-yayyy

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhhhhhh, you got me hatin' on the club
'Cause you took my love
Oh you took my love
Now you got me like whoahhhhhhhh
You got me hatin' on the club
'Cause you took my love
Why'd you have to take my love
Whoahhhhhhhh

oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oho(x2)
oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oho,uh,oho,uh,oho,uh,oho,uh
oho oh

Now this is the sound of a broken heart
There's only one reason why we're apart
She never woulda made it to your car
If it wasn't for the club, I'd still have my love(x2)
We would still have us(x2)
I'd still have my loveeeeeee(x2)
We would still have us

But now we're like whoahhhh

Ohhh, you got me hatin' on the club
'Cause you took my love
Oh you took my love

But now, now we're like whoahhhhhhh
You got me hatin' on the club
You took my love
Oh you took my love

You Got her hatin on ohhhh
You Got her hatin on the club(x4)
club,club,club

You Got her hatin on ohhhh
You Got her hatin on the club

>>John Legend: Everybody Knows (I love this song so much. Hot lyrics!)

It gets harder everyday but I can’t seem to shake the pain
I am tryna find the word to say please stay
It’s written all over my face
I can’t function the same when you’re not here
Calling your name when no ones there
And I hope one day you’ll see

(Chorus)
No body has it easy
I still can’t believe you
Found somebody new
But I wish you the best
I guess
‘Cause everybody knows that
Nobody really knows how to make it work
Or how to ease the hurt
We’ve heard it all before and
Everybody knows just how to make it right
I wish we gave it one more try
One more try, try (one more try)
One more try, try (one more try)
‘cause everybody knows
But no body really knows

Oh ooh yeah

I don’t care what the people say
If I’ll be lonely anyway
Baby don’t fill up your head with he said she said
It seems like you just don’t know (don’t know)
The radio goes you’re tuning me up
Am trying to speak you’re turning me down
And I know one day you’ll see

(Chorus)

I wish that you would understand
I’m just an ordinary man
I wish that we had known
Everybody knows that nobody really knows
And I know one day you’ll see
Nobody has it easy

(Chorus)

{}Letoya: Not Anymore (This song is the truth!!!)
This is dedicated to
This, This, This is dedicated to
Mmmmmm, well if your feeling like Im feeling, then this is dedicated to you

Verse 1:
Well, Ive been the super girlfriend
Let you think that nothing bother me
Like when you go out with your friends
And people bring me back the stories
The stories bout them other girls
Bout this one, and that one, and those three
So when I ask a simple question (Where were you last night?)
You wanna yell and scream and try to flip it on me

Bridge:
No, No, Noooo (No, No)
Is anybody else just fed up?
If you heard it all befoe, foe, foe (foe, foe)
Then right where you are just get up

Chorus (2X):
Somebody say, I dont want it anymore
I dont want it anymore
Somebody say, I dont want it anymore
I dont want it anymore
Cause Ive dried my eyes and I realized
I deserve somebody thatll treat me right
Somebody say, I dont want it anymore
I dont want it anymore
Somebody say, I dont want it anymore
I dont want it anymore
Because I know my word so you can keep
That drama, I dont want it anymore
Ooooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Verse 2:
Mmmmm, no more settling for less
Im looking for that kind of man
Thats gonna give his best, cause Im giving my best
A man that wants to cherish this
And knows exactly how to woo me
Not some silly little boy
Who wants my goodies cause he took me to the movies

Bridge:
No, No, Noooo (No, No)
Is anybody else just fed up?
If you heard it all befoe, foe, foe (foe, foe)
Not Anymore lyrics on
Then right where you are just get up

Chorus (2X):
Somebody say, I dont want it anymore
I dont want it anymore
Somebody say, I dont want it anymore
I dont want it anymore
Cause Ive dried my eyes and I realized
I deserve somebody thatll treat me right
Somebody say, I dont want it anymore
I dont want it anymore
Somebody say, I dont want it anymore
I dont want it anymore
Because I know my word so you can keep
That drama, I dont want it anymore
Ooooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore
Ooooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore (walking out the door)
Ooooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore (no, not anymore)
Ooooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore
Ooooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore
Ooooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore
Ooooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore (not no more, not no more, Im gone)
Ooooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore (Nooooooooooo)

This is dedicated to(better leave in a day)
This, this, this is dedicated to(wipe the tears from my face)
Mmmmm, well if you feeling like Im feeling, then this is dedicted to you (if you feel me say)

Chorus:
Somebody say, I dont want it anymore
I dont want it anymore
Somebody say, I dont want it anymore
I dont want it anymore
Cause Ive dried my eyes and I realized
I deserve somebody thatll treat me right
Somebody say, I dont want it anymore
I dont want it anymore
Somebody say, I dont want it anymore
I dont want it anymore
Because I know my word so you can keep
That drama, I dont want it anymore
Ooooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Well thats all i can think of for this week. Sorry its late. see yall

Radical Thoughts (do you know the answers?)

2009-02-26T21:32:00.000-05:00

Why does this world thrive on deception and lies?

When the wise ones know negativity only leads to a quicker demise?

Why do we continually wait on people to validate and accept us?

But all they seem to do is discriminate against us and reject us.

We all want to be rich and never want for a thing.

However, the key to happiness does not lie in a diamond ring.

If we have love and peace and joy, shouldn't that be enough?

You would think so, but then times get tough.

Thats when greed and hate come into play.

And everybody's on their hustle and doing things the reckless way.

Why do we all want what we cant have?

Maybe it's the allure and the urgency that says don't let a moment pass.

Without wanting, needing and taking.

Instead of appreciating, loving and embracing.

Positivity is too much to ask.

We all get too caught up in all of life's tasks.

So once again the question is why. What is the rhyme or reason?

Hopefully we will know in some future season.

Whats up with yall these days? (an impromptu joint LOL)

2009-02-26T21:30:00.000-05:00

I dont get why dudes call girls out of their names.

Disrespect them and act like lames.

Then in the next breath, we're your boo again.

Such a lack of respect and loyalty.

Even when i try my hardest.

This is the fate for me.

I dont get why dudes have to have more than one girl.

Whats wrong with having one girl in your world?

So for now i dont know.

Im feeling like i shouldnt care.

Im feeling like i shouldnt dare.

Dare to think for a second.

That a dude actually cares.

Or believe that i have a fair share.

Which should be all of him.

But it is what it is.

I still wonder though.

WIll i ever find a real man?

A man who cares all the time.

Not just when its convenient for him.

A man who is always there.

Even when times get hard and it gets real.

A man who know how to feel.

Who doesnt have to conceal.

Every single thing.

thats on his mind.

Because his pride gets in the way.

So he chooses to keep it all packed away.

I guess ill never know why yall do what yall do.

All i know is things would be way easier if yall were true

L.I.F.

2009-02-25T15:35:00.004-05:00

Well i got a few songs that im feeling this wk
++Beyonce :Halo ( i love love love this song! it is the truth!)

Beyonce: Halo Remember those walls I built Well baby they tumbling down And they didn’t even put up a fight They didn’t even make a sound I found a way to let you in But I never really had a doubt Standing in the light of your halo I got my angel now Bridge: It’s like I’ve been awakened Every rule I had you breaking It’s the risk that I’m taking I ain't never gonna shut you out Everywhere I’m looking now I’m surrounded by your embrace Baby I can see your halo You know you’re my saving grace You’re everything I need and more It’s written all over your face Baby I can feel your halo Pray it won’t fade away Chorus: I can’t feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo Hit me like a ray of sun Burning through my darkest night You’re the only one that I want Think I’m addicted to your light I swore I’d never fall again But this don’t even feel like falling Gravity can’t forget So pull me back to the ground again Bridge: Feels like I’ve been awakened Every rule I had you breaking The risk that I’m taking I’m never gonna shut you out Everywhere I’m looking now I’m surrounded by your embrace Baby I can see your halo You know you’re my saving grace You’re everything I need and more It’s written all over your face Baby I can feel your halo Pray it won’t fade away Chorus: I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo Halooooo ouuuu Halooooo ouuuu Halooooo ouuuu Ouuuuu ouuuuu ouuuuu Bridge/Chorus Ending: Everywhere I’m looking now I’m surrounded by your embrace Baby I can see your halo You know you’re my saving grace You’re everything I need and more It’s written all over your face Baby I can feel your halo Pray it won’t fade away I can feel your halo halo I can see your halo halo halo I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo I can feel your halo halo halo I can see your halo halo halo
** Teairra Mari and Pleasure P: Hunt 4 U (these lyrics are the truth!!!!)
[verse 1 ] I'm looking for you that sweet incredible you that unforgetable you The you that only I can know Tell me what i gotta do What walls i gotta break through That will bring me right back to you[oohhh] Cuz im searching boy...but i dont have a clue [*bridge*] Im not gon stop fighting im gon' keep searching I'll go to the end of the world if i have to I'm gon' keep trying as long as im hurting Tell me what i gotta do cuz boy im on the hunt for you [*chorus*] Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? cuz boy im on the hunt for you Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? [ verse 2 ] I'm looking for you That irreplaceable you That warm embraceable you[oohh] That walked right out that door What argument can i lose? What day can i play a fool? Tell me boy what i gotta do To figure out why you dont luv me no more [*bridge*] Im not gon stop fighting im gon' keep searching I'll go to the end of the world if i have to I'm gon' keep trying as long as im hurting Tell me what i gotta do cuz boy im on the hunt for you [*chorus*] Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? cuz boy im on the hunt for you Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? [ Pleasure P. ] She said i've been missing for a minute I aint been no where I'm in this mudafuqa...till we finish And we go back and forth with cursing words like its Tina's Cuz im a green thing I'll be out here chasing spinach And she said I dont want your cars I'd rather have your heart Yeah you call me you wifey Baby let me play the part She hates when were apart She calls me up whenever i leave She's looking out for me[heyyy.....yeahhh] [*bridge*] Im not gon stop fighting im gon' keep searching I'll go to the end of the world if i have to I'm gon' keep trying as long as im hurting cuz boy im on the hunt for you [*chorus*] Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? cuz boy im on the hunt for you Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? ----- I'm not go' stop fighting I'm gon' keep searching I'm gon' keep trying as long as im hurting Cuz boy im on the hunt for you Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Cuz boy im on the hunt for you Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at Where you at?

Sterling Simms: All i need Ft dream and jadakiss (new artist from philly so you know i gotta show him some love; his songs are hot!!)

Oh... Ohh ahhh ahh oh yea yea ohh ahh ahh... one time(ay)Two times(ay)... Three times(ay)then bring it back one timeI Promise That I Won't Be Wasting Your Time, I'm Tryna Give You Everything That's Mine.You're My Counterpoint And I'm Tryna Draw The Line, And If I'm Wrong Then Hell I Maybe Blind...Be My Baby, Be My Girl, Be My Shawty, Be My World, Be My Any And Everything I Adore.This Future Of Ours Baby I'm Really Looking Forward To(Be Ing All You Need).Cause The Man That I wanna Be, I can't Be Him Without You With Me(ohohhh)(Baby Your Love Is All I Need)Baby I Hope You Feel The Same Way.Don't Let Me Waste The Whole Day, You Got Me Singing Like(ohh ahhh ohh ahh, Ohhh ahhh, ohh ahh, ooh ahh, ooh ahh, ooh ahhLove's Knocking At Your Door You Gotta Open Your Blinds... Baby I'm Trying To Sell You This Product Of Mine.Pieces Missing Out Your Puzzle.Match It With Mine.And Everywhere I Turn I keep Seeing signs Like (ooh y'all look good together)like ohhh(looking like sister and brother)like ohhh y'all act just like each other play it off like man whatever.and all I'm thinking bout...DreamBaby I'mms Stay The Same Even Though Weather Change.Baby I Remember Back When I First Heard Your Name, Yeah My Momma Knew Your Momma And That's How We Were Friends And I Swore To You That Day I'd Be Here Til The End.You Got My Heart, You Got My Mind, You Got My Love And Even When We Weren't Together It Was You I thought Of, So When The Blessings In The Air Baby you Gotta Recieve It.Now My Cards On The Table Baby Tell Me You Need Me(need me

These songs are hot it is what it is.

Randoms...

2009-02-20T16:59:00.000-05:00

Well looks like there will be more randomness this week...the story of my life. Cant really find any appropriate quotes this week.

1) I really cant stand when people dont speak (whether they add me online or when i see someone in person). I feel as though its rude, if i speak to you, you should speak back. (or if you add me then you should be willing to talk i mean whats the point of adding me if you dont intend to talk?).

2) I cant stand when people are boring and cant hold an interesting conversation. (Like dont ask me the same question a million times and expect a different answer. Or dont say stupid stuff that makes no sense.)

3) I hate when tests are so much harder than you expect and you really think you aced it but you barely passed. Its just crazy to me....its like an illusion. All the questions will look so ridiculously easy and then you end up gettin like a dozen wrong. I guess i gotta try harder.

4) I hate when people laugh forever and you are sitting there lookin dumb wondering whats so funny because it always seems like nothin could be that funny. For real.

5)I dont understand how people still refuse to wear clothes and the wind is so strong it feels like it could carry you if you stood still. I dont feel a thing because i dress appropriately, but i know for a fact they have got to be freezing.

6)I love being able to sleep late.

7) I love eating junk food.

8) I love wasting time.

9) Alot of people dont know things about me so they just assume. I wish people would try to get to know me instead of making crazy assumptions.

10) I really believe that life is what you make it. So if you complain and take no action it doesnt do you any good. You have to try no matter what b/c giving up is not an option.

11) I like being busy because it allows me to forget about the stresses of life.

12) Since being in college, i have mastered the fine art of multitasking. It seems like i can never just do one thing anymore. Im always doing like 5 things at once.

13) School is interesting, but in my major, which is the hardest one next to engineering, you cant have a life really. Its just reading and studying forever. its very exhausting but it will pay off in the long run.

14)Ive given up on caring about the small stuff, right about now, if it aint big, then im not sweating it. Life is too short to be stressed so im trying not to get stressed.

15)My faith in god, although im not a devout christian, if you will, keeps me going. If it wasnt for prayer, and reading from the bible every now and then, i dont know where i would be. I truly believe it does change things. I thank god every day because he doesnt have to wake me up every morning.

16)I think im a nice person, which is a good thing, but sometimes im too nice.

17) Music is seriously about to be my boyfriend. I mean its always there, it blocks out the chaos of life, its reliable, its interesting, its unique. Its the truth. Its hot. Its vibrant. Its rhythmic, its thought provoking. It truly keeps me sane. As long as i got music i can deal.

18) People annoy me in so many ways like right now somebody is blasting some horrible music next door. But hey ill just blast my tv louder LOL.

19) SO glad its friday!! its been a long wk. I'll probably spend the whole wknd studying anyway but oh well. at least i get a break.

20) I love a certain someone who still doesnt realize it or seem to notice at all. Oh well, i guess time will tell.

Thats it for this week. maybe ill be back with more like this next week. see ya :-)

L.I.F.

2009-02-18T20:34:00.000-05:00

>> Jazmine Sullivan :Lions, Tigers & Bears(im really feelin these lyrics)"Lions, Tigers & Bears"I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears (Oh my!)But I'm scared of (loving you)I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair (that's right)But I'm scared of (loving you)Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?Why do we love Love,When Love seems to hate us?Sorry if I sound so filled with gloom.You say you care, and I know you do...But this is from my experienceAnd my conclusion only makes sense.Just cause I love you, and you love meIt doesn't mean that we're meant to be.I can climb mountains, swim cross the seasBut the most frightening you and me.[Chorus]Most circumstances, I know my fateBut in this love thang, I don't get the game.Why does it feel like those who give in,They only wind up losing a friend.Just cause I love you and you love me,It doesn't mean that we'll ever be.Fly cross the ocean, sing for the queenBut the most frightening thing is you and me.[Chorus]I'm sure though I'm not sureBut if we never try, We'll never knowIt's better to have loved then not to loved at all.Not trying is worse than to stumble and fallAnd if we do, I'd rather it be with youCause at least there will be sweet memories.Oh I'm not scared...[Chorus]

** Ciara: Never Ever(few songs are as true as this right now!!! I love it! I just hope it aint true in my situation :-() (Young Jeezy & Pow La Don)Throw yo' hands up in the airIf ya know he love yaTell the DJ play this song right hereIf ya know he love yaLet, let, let, let me see you 2-stepIf ya know he love yaIt don't matter if you by yourselfIf ya know he love ya(Ciara)If that boy don't love you by nowHe will never ever, never ever love youHe will never ever, never ever love youIf that boy don't love you by nowHe will never ever, never ever love youHe will never ever, never ever love youI know you think that I just be trippin' on yaBoy you see, this ain't how I normally beBut I can't help this jealousyOoh it's taking over me, ooh I'm falling way to deepWithout you by my side I feel like I can't eat or sleepBut I, got to come down to earth, I don't wannaBut I, gotta let you go, but baby I dont wannaAnd I, I gotta see, that you and me, ain't meant to beThat's why I tell myselfIf that boy don't love you by nowHe will never ever, never ever love youHe will never ever, never ever love youIf that boy don't love you by nowHe will never ever, never ever love youHe will never ever, never ever love youBaby, I can't help but fantasizeWondering what it might be likeYou and I sound so rightBut I'mma let it go tonight, it ain't nothin'Coverin' my eyesAin't gonna see it more than twiceI get it, I got itBaby, babyBut I, got to come down to earth, I don't wannaBut I, gotta let you go, but baby I dont wannaAnd I, I gotta see, that you and me, ain't meant to beThat's why I tell myselfIf that boy don't love you by nowHe will never ever, never ever love youHe will never ever, never ever love youIf that boy don't love you by nowHe will never ever, never ever love youHe will never ever, never ever love you(Young Jeezy)Alright, alright, alright, okay...I see ya point, I must admitI grind, I grind, I grind all dayThis paper's what I'm trynna getNow normally when I'm paper chasing, I be having tunnel visionAnd if it's really like that lady, just turn on ya televisionAnd there go Young, I said there go Young, you trynna get it didJust know I gets it done, she love the I cheatShe love the way I move, I sha, I show it to herShows about 100, goonIts blacks this, black thatBlack car, black flagsI really hope that's money that ya'll got off in them black bags808's & heartbreak, states who puts in ???interstates????Giving me a bad vibe, guess I'm just a bad guy(Ciara)Throw yo' hands up in the airIf ya know he love yaTell the DJ play this song right hereIf ya know he love yaLet, let, let, let me see you 2-stepIf ya know he love yaIt don't matter if you by yourselfIf ya know he love ya

Well i dont really like alot of songs right now. But i am feeling those. see ya :-)

My Definition of a Real Man(read for details :-) )

2009-02-13T16:46:00.004-05:00

Well a few weeks ago i wrote a post entitled My definition of a good man. This is sort of an addendum/revision if you will. What i mean is i might have been kinda naive and somewhat unrealistic so this post will try to encompass some realism as well as correct or improve on what the previous post lacked. It might be a lil long winded so bear with me LOL.

*A real man knows how to treat his lady, and he tries not ignore her or hurt her in any way.

* A real man knows how to hold an intriguing conversation and sex doesnt even have to be a topic.

*A real man is compassionate and is not afraid to show his emotions.

*A real man knows how to keep it real( i think thats obvious though LOL).

* A real man understands that i have expectations and will try his hardest to live up to them.

*A real man will let me be there for him and support him through whatever happens.

*A real man isnt afraid to be loved.

*A real man knows the meaning of unconditional love.

*A real man shows me why he needs me in his life as often as possible.

*A real man allows me to show interest in his life.

*A real man makes it easy for me to trust him.

*A real man is educated in more ways than one.

*A real man isnt intimidated by a woman that is going places and he is willing to take the journey.

*A real man can make me laugh.

*A real man stimulates my mind and keeps my interest.

*A real man is there for me when he can be.

* A real man is one that is willing to grow with me.

*A real man is one that believes in god and fears the wrath of god.

*A real man is one who lets me speak my mind.

* A real man is one who can teach me something or show me a different way of seeing things and who is not afraid to learn from me either.

*A real man is one who allows me to be myself but still loves me.

*A real man is a man who will do little things just to see me happy.

Well i cant think of anything else but you get my drift.Sorry it was so short, i guess im more concise than i thought. A real man is just a man that accepts me for me and allows me to love, care about, and cherish him as much as he cherishes me. I know now that men will be men and no man is perfect and it is foolish and ignorant to think so. I just wish that the men that i cared about would care about me the same way and see things from my perspective from time to time. It always seems like we are on different levels and they never match up. Sooner or later things will get better i guess. But for now, thats my opinion. Only more experience and time will improve and expand this train of thought. Well those are my beliefs what are yours?

L.I.F. (Not today..just a random joint LOL)

2009-02-11T19:16:00.004-05:00

Well today i couldnt really think of any Lyrics Im Feeling..so i figured id just write and see where this takes me. LOL. Well i dont know if yall would read it, but im thinkin about doing a post similar to the one about my definition of a good man. But instead, ill tell what i think my def of a real man is. Hmm im contemplatin it right now, it will be up soon if i decide to write it.

+Today was so exhausting.. i mean im not really actively involved on campus, but sometimes there are a lot of meetings and it wears me out. I mean i only had two meetings and i went to one but whew is my head hurting and i feel drained. And the bad part is that tomorrow will be worse. Its my lab day, which i absolutely dread, but its so interesting at the same time LOL.

+ Im still struggling with being motivated man. Some days i sit in class and i think..why in the world did i pick this major? To tell the truth, everything kinda occurred on a whim. It came time to pick out colleges , and i just went through the alphabet and looked at a couple. I did know that i didnt want to go too far away or too close, but beyond that , i didnt have a clue. I just clicked on my school and looked it over and decided that it and Nursing were an okay choice. But looking back i wonder would i have enjoyed an HBCU down south better? then again my perception of those schools is that they may not be as challenging or it will be boring b/c everybody is my color.(i know thats probably not true though, they have a rich heritage and the people may be totally different from what i expect even though we share the same skin color; and i know its probably tougher because its an all black school and the pressure is so much greater to succeed and do well not only for yourself but for the sake of your people as a whole.) But anyway i really like this school, im comfortable here and the people are cool for the most part, and its really diverse, which has taught me so many things. And to be honest, nursing isnt bad you just have to focus and really want it. right now i dont have any papers and i just have tests so its extremely boring. thats my problem. Its been a lovely experience for me so far, ive gained so much, such as independence, maturity, confidence, friendship, social skills, and the list could go on forever. I love college, i cant wait to graduate though LOL.

+Life is great. But one question still boggles me. Why do men act the way they do and why do they like me more from what they see on the computer, than men do in person? its like im nonexistent in reality. LOL. i guess its the way i dress and the fact that i stay to myself in my own world sometimes. But yeah it amazes me so much that somebody could like me on the conputer but noone even notices in person. Anyway i have a man...who i love very much so that shouldnt matter. He noticed LOL. But sometimes i still dont know. I love him so much though...its like no matter what happens my love is always there...i cant help it. He makes me happy.

+I need to really get myself together. Wardrobe, attitude, license, god, school, health, the whole nine. Sometimes i forget that life isnt like a plane, i cant be on autopilot, i have to actively participate to make it the life i want it to be. I cant sit back and complain and expect things to change, i have to work at being a better person and i have to pray about it and just try. B/c if you try, nobody can take that from you.

+I maybe crazy for this, but im still in awe that we have a black president. I am so proud to see this day come and one day, when i get married and have kids, i cant wait to tell them about it. I just hope he can live up to everyones expectations and accomplish what he wants to accomplish. People are already hard on him and he hasnt even been there a month yet. People need to chill and just let him do what he has to do. This mess wasnt created overnight so it wont be solved over night.

+I just realized something about me, LOL i have grown alot. I really have. But sometimes, i do backslide and everybody does. I mean i speak my mind, i interact with others, i do what i say im goin to do(most of the time LOL), im informed, im cute, im intuitive(i can read people like a book lately), im trying not to be so shy...LOL. well that about sums up the growth i think...for now at least LOL

+Well i dont really have much else to say. back to procrastinating and relaxing LOL
ill be back soon with more like this..show your girl some love and let me know what yall think... PS: my thoughts have no end so i might be back before the night is out LOL

L.I.F.

2009-02-04T15:38:00.001-05:00

++Jill Scott: The real thing( i sure am the real thing)You gotta do right by me,its mandatory babySweeter than your favorite ice cream be,bask in my glory babyDon't play no games,that'll ruin thangsAnd make me leave ya,or mistreat ya and youdon't want thatDon't hesitate,I could make you greatLike Cleopatra Jones I could set you straight [Chorus:]I'm the real thing,in stereoI got a little highs,I got a little lowsFollow this,melodic flowI could make it shine,I could make it glow[Repeat x2]I'm more than a toy for your satisfactionI'm a pay-per-view for the TV screen,your main attractionYour phosphorus,I'm your energyWhen your lost,and you need some focuscome see meI'll entice ya man,I do it all the timeIn the mornin',in the evenin',when the doves cryI can feed you gut,put you in a tubWhen I turn it up,yeah brotha you knowwhat's upA little bubbles and a body rub,turn off the water (drip drip)Don't think about dessert,I got enoughAnd a whole lot more to ggiivveee! [Chorus x4]Glow Glow Glow...When I turn it up,yeah brotha you knowwhat's up [Repeat x3]Glow Glow Glow... (oooooooh) [Chorus x2]

>> Jennifer Hudson: We Gon Fight(true, we do but i love him...)Hands upIf you with me, put your hands upHands upWait a minute, wait a minute ya'llThey told me that love was simply not enoughWith all that we been throughWe should give it upWhy sweat and cryJust leave and make it easyI told em' it would hurt me worstBut they just don't believe meBeen locked up, bailed outBroke, overdrawnStaying at my momma's houseYa'll don't know what I'm talking boutLike gangsta's we gone strap up for this warAnd I'd die for mineCause you're worth fighting forCan't nobody tell me bout this here (oh no)Now let me make it clear (I won't)Let ever thing we've done in the name of us (us)Done in the name of love (love)Be nothingSo I'm a fight for youYou gone fight for meI'm a fight for youThat's how it's gone beWe gon fightWhy trip on conversations bout our pastLike we didn't make itLike we didn't man up and take itStraight up and with youWe go back like... andI know I'm crazyThat's how you made meBeen locked up, bailed outBroke, overdrawnStaying at my momma's houseYa'll don't know what I'm talking boutLike gangsta's we gone strap up for this warCause I'd die for mineCause you're worth fighting forCan't nobody tell me bout this here (oh no)Now let me make it clear (I won't)Let ever thing we've done in the name of us (us)Done in the name of love (love)Be nothingSo I'm gone fight for youAnd you gone fight for meI'm gone fight for youThat's how it's gone beWe gone fightFight because we shouldOn every things that's goodI can't leave(We've come to far to turn back)And to the haters that we shookGiving us dirty looksWatch and see(No matter what goes),No matter what stays),Ain't gone late nobody tear us downWe going all twelve roundsLet's put em up (no)No giving up (we)We gone make it just becauseBecause we gone fight for loveCan't nobody tell me bout this here (oh no)Now let me make it clear (I won't)Let ever thing we've done in the name of us (us)Done in the name of love (love)Be nothingSo I'm gone fight for youAnd you gone fight for meI'm gone fight for youI'm Gone FightThat's how it's gone beWe gone fightWe gone fightHolla if you hear meWe gon fightThis thing is getting rid of meWe gon fightPut ya hands up if you feel meWe gon fight

**Alicia Keys: If I aint got you( i love it)um....um....Some people live for the fortunesome people live for just for the famesome people live for the power(yeah)some people live just to play the gamesome people think that the physical things definewhat's within and i bet that before that life's adore arefull of the superficialSome people want it allbut i don't want nothing allif it ain't you baby ,if i ain't got you babysome people want diamond ringssome just want everythingbut everything means nothing if i ain't got youyeahsome people search for a fountainpromises are forever yourssome people need the dozen rosesthat's the only way you proveyou love themhand me the worldon a silver platterthen what a what good it would beno one to shareno one who truly cares for meSome people want it allbut i don't want nothing allif it ain't you baby, if i ain't got you babysome people want diamons ringssome just want everythingbut everything is nothing if i ain't got you(repeatx2)yeahif i ain't got you with me babyain't nothing in this wholewide world don't mean a thingif i ain't got you with me baby

// Faith Evans: Soon as i get home ( throwback but i love it)CHORUS:SOON AS I GET HOMEI'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU BABY I'LL DO WHAT I GOTTA DO(2X)SLEEPLESS NIGHTSAND LONELY DAYS ARE ALL THAT FILL MY HEADALL THE TIME, OH BABYBUT ALL I DOIS THINK ABOUT THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL CAUSE BABY THIS LOVE IS SO REALCHORUS:SOON AS I GET HOME (WHEN I GET HOME)I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOUBABY I'LL DO WHAT I GOTTA DO(DO WHAT I GOTTA DO,OO,OO)(2x)IF I TRIED TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOU TO MAKE YOU HAPPYWOULD YOU FEEL BETTER, UMMMAND IF I COULD FOR YOU I WOULD BE FOREVERFOREVER IN LOVE SO MAKING LOVE1: MAKING LOVE ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT WE CAN HOLD EACH OTHER TIGHTI CAN TAKE AWAY THE PAIN IF YOU WOULD ONLY LET MEJUST FORGET ABOUT THE PAST CAUSE I WANT TO MAKE IT LASTBABY I APOLOGIZE (CAUSE BOY I REALLY NEED YOU IN MY LIFE)CHORUS:SOON AS I GET HOME(WHEN I GET HOME)I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU(I'M GONNA MAKE IT)BABY I'LL DO WHAT I GOTTA DO(2X)2:BABY IF YOU GIVE ME JUST ANOTHER CHANCE(OH BABY)I CAN SHOW YOU LOVE(MORE LOVE)PROMISE I'LL BE TRUE TO YOU(YOU WON'T EVER HAVE TO WORRY)DON'T HAVE TO WORRY CAUSE I'M GONNA TREAT YOU RIGHT(BABY I MISS YOU )_BABY I MISS YOU JUST WANNA KISS YOU HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS TONIGHT (SSSOOONNNN AS)SOON AS I GET HOMEBABY I KNOW WHAT I GOTTA DOCAUSE I DON'T NEED NO ONE BUT YOU(until song fades)

Well thats where i am this wk. still in love. happy and focused. Im loving it. Be back next week with more!

P.P.

2009-02-02T16:30:00.000-05:00

Havent done one of these in a while, but the circumstances call for it once again. So lets get right down to it.

1) I hate when people tell me the obvious. Like i know what i have to do. But ill do it when I see fit not when you want me to. That irks my world. I mean im minding my business...sometimes i wish people would do the same.

2)I hate when my parents always say im goin to ruin my life, when in reality that isnt true. I know how to handle myself and i wish they would realize that. I mean in about 7 months, ill be 20 and after that ill be 21. I really think its time that i get to have my own life. Im tired of being treated like that and having to worry about what they have to say. I just want some peace. BUt i guess thats too much to ask.

3)I hate when people assume things about me. If you dont know me, dont act like it. Or if you want to know the truth about me, just ask. Dont assume, its a cardinal sin in my book. ( i think already said this before but it needed to be said again)

4) I hate when theres nothin good to eat at the caf. I mean im payin all this money and yall cant have anything good? That doesnt make any sense to me.

5)I hate when schools harass you for money. I mean im not gonna run away with it. i have to pay if i want to stay in school. thats just common sense.

6) I hate when people have no discretion about things. I may have said this before but its true. Like some things just arent meant to be said.

7) I hate boring men. I mean if im talkin to you, something has to keep my interest. You have to intrigue me, thats a must. Otherwise, there would be no point in talking.

8) I hate men who are strictly about sex and nothing else. Like there is so much more to life than that.

9) I hate that i procrastinate so much. Its a gift and a curse. Its a gift b/c its fun to do. On the other hand its a curse b/c you pay for it in the long run.

10)I hate that im not motivated. Its like im in school , but theres more to it than that, i just wish that there was more to do. Like i dont really want more work. But all tests and no papers is boring. If i had more to do i probably would be more motivated.

Well thats it for this week. Thats all i hate.

L.I.F.

2009-01-28T13:52:00.001-05:00

++Leona Lewis: Better in Time ( i love this song)It's been the longest winter without youI didn't know where to turn to See somehow I can't forget youAfter all that we've been throughGoing coming thought I heard a knockWho's there no oneThinking that I deserve it Now I realise that I really didn't knowIf you didn't notice you mean everything Quickly I'm learning to love againAll I know is I'm gon' be ok[Chorus:]Thought I couldn't live without youIt's gonna hurt when it heals tooIt'll all get better in timeAnd even though I really love youI'm gonna smile cause I deserve to It'll all get better in timeI couldn't turn on the TVWithout something there to remaind me Was it all that easyTo just put aside your feelingsIf I'm dreaming don't wanna laughHurt my feelings but that's the pathI believe in And I know that time will heal itIf you didn't notice boy you meant everythingQuickly I'm learning to love againAll I know is I'm gon' be ok[Chorus:]Thought I couldn't live without youIt's gonna hurt when it heals tooIt'll all get better in timeAnd even though I really love youI'm gonna smile cause I deserve to It'll all get better in timeSince there's no more you and meIt's time I let you go So I can be freeAnd live my life how it should be No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without youYes I will[Chorus: X2]Thought I couldn't live without youIt's gonna hurt when it heals tooIt'll all get better in timeAnd even though I really love youI'm gonna smile cause I deserve to It'll all get better in time

>>Rihanna: Take a bow (this song is the truth. I love it!)Oh, how bout a round of aplouse yahStandin ovashin ooo oh ya ya ya yaU look so dumb right nowStandin out side my houseTryin to apoligiez, ur so ugly when u cry, pleaseJust cut it outDon't tell me ur sorry cuz ur notBaby, when i know ur only sorry u got caught(Chours)But u put on quite a showReally had me goinBut now it's time to goCurtians finally closinThat was quite a showVery entertaningBut it's over now (but it's over now)Go on and take a bow ohGrab ur clothes and get gone (get gone)U better hurry upBefore the sprinklers come onTalkin bout girl i love u ur the one this is whats like the re-run, pleaseWhat else is on (oh)And don't tell me ur sorry cuz ur notBaby, when i know ur only sorry u got caught(Chours)Any award for the best life goes to uFor makin me belive, that u could be faithful to meLet's here ur speech ohHow bout around of aplousea standin ovashin(Chours)But it's over now

**Keyshia Cole: Didnt i tell you(Man this song is the truth..i LOVe it!!)[Verse 1:]So while you going out having your fun, I should sit here waiting for you?All this time I've invested in you baby, now you getting your dubs.And making your runs and popping your drink.And having your fun.But see it's ok.Cuz what goes around comes around.It's always been that way.[Chorus:]Didn't I tell you I was gonna be the one? (Be the one)Be the one and when it's all done boy... (She can't love you like I do)Didn't I tell you boy?Didn't I tell you?Didn't I tell you?Didn't I tell you?Didn't I tell you boy?[Verse 2:]So now the sun coming up you wanna change.But I ain't sitting up and crying s***.So while you rolling out doing your thing.I'll be popping my bottles.Rolling round clubs.Hanging wit me girls.I'll be having my fun.Cuz I don't deserve all the games you play.Now you coming back this way.But...[Chorus:]Didn't I tell you I was gonna be the one? (Be the one)Be the one and when it's all done boy... (Boy, she can't love you like I do)Didn't I tell you boy?Didn't I tell you? (Yeah yeah yeah yeah)Didn't I tell you? (Yeah yeah yeah yeah)Didn't I tell you? (Yeah yeah yeah yeah)Didn't I tell you boy?[Bridge:]You going out knowing everybody's watching.But she could never be me and you know it baby.The proff is in the puddin.Ain't no way to hide it.(Didn't I tell you boy)[Too $hort:]You thinkin you got her stuck, you must be smoking.She got alot of money too.She ain't no joke man.We raised her good.She got the game before the fame.Keyshia Cole, ain't nothing changed.You know her name.You see her ridin something clean.Lookin hella fly.I know you heard, she changed her mind.I'm bout to tell you why.She ain't staying at the house.She going out.To some exclusive s*** that you don't know about.She won't be curled up crying wit a broke heart.She bout to get dressed and go hard.And if you wanna run the streets chasing hoes, dude she'll be out chillin cuz you ain't doinwhat you suppose to.[Chorus:]Didn't I tell you I was gonna be the one? (Yeah, be the one)Be the one and when it's all done boy... (Boy, she can't love you like I do)Didn't I tell you boy?Didn't I tell you? (Yeah yeah yeah yeah)Didn't I tell you? (Yeah yeah yeah yeah)Didn't I tell you? (Yeah yeah yeah yeah)Didn't I tell you boy?

//Brandy: Movin on(well i dont like the song that much...but i like the lyrics...)Hmmm yeah...Oh yeahSo if we both don't believeGot to be movin' onI be a typical kind of girl wasting my timeThat ain't styleSee I would rather be occupiedAlways trying to keep my mind pointed to a higher placeI can have anything I wantAnything I can dream ofI've been soldSince the day I was born, oh yeahSo I make sure everydayThat I don't let nothing hold me backGot to be on track, I got to move1- So if a role don't fit meGot to be moving onCause if it don't work for meGuess I'll be moving on (and on)I could take libertiesBut that would cause me to changeBut that ain't my thingCause I don't want to stand with the crowdOnly true to myselfDon't have to follow no one elseNot trying to be aloneBut if I catch you doing wrongGot no problem leaving the roomDon't feel no sympathyAt least not for meCause I know just what I'm gonna doI got to moveRepeat 1Repeat 1(instrumental)2- Keep moving, keep movingKeep moving on and onKeep moving, keep movingKeep moving on and onRepeat 1 & 2

Well thats where im at this week. I know how i feel but its obvious that a certain someone doesnt feel the same. I cant waste any more time being an option when i should be a priority. It is what it is. Enlighten me if im wrong....

Revelations 2

2009-01-23T19:09:00.002-05:00

Well i think its time that i face facts and open my eyes. Im feeling so many different feelings and thoughts constantly rush through my head. I know how i feel. But frankly im tired of trying to make a certain someone see that. Im tired of trying. Im ready to find someone who will love me and will not bs me all the time, simple as that. But before that can be accomplished, some housekeeping definitely has to be taken care of. Ive heard so many opinions and takes on this situation. But now i have drawn my own conclusion. Its time to stop blaming others. Its time to take responsibility for my role in this. Its time for me to be mature. Its time for me to be independent and assertive. Its time to stop chasing after what i desire so much. Its time to wait until what i desire desires me. Its time to love me first completely and thoroughly with no regrets, despite the events that transpire in my life. Its time to stop worrying about what others think. Its time to own the unique person that is me. Its time to embrace that. Its time to work hard to achieve my goals. Its time to stop settling for less and expecting grandiose returns. Its time to stop waiting for love and start taking care of myself. Its time for me to learn to trust others. Its time for me to be honest with myself at all times no matter how much it may hurt. Its time for me to listen more and stop waiting for my turn to talk. Its time to for me to acquire a more patient demeanor. Patience is truly a virtue. Its time for me to stop craving attention from unworthy sources. Its time for me to do what i have to be happy, alone. Its time to change my way of thinking and broaden my horizons. Its time to do me. Its time to care about myself more than others for once, while still extending a helping hand if need be. Its time to learn when im being taken advantage of and nip that in the bud. Its time to be the best me i can be, without compromising my character. Its time to be disciplined. Its time to live life and learn from my mistakes. Its time to stop being so stubborn. Its time to make smarter decisions. Its time for the new fabulous me to emerge like a butterfly from its coccoon. Its time for peace, its time for joy, its time for love. But these things need to come from me, nobody else can make me happy i have to decide to be happy all by myself then i can truly love another and do it with grace. Nobody can make these changes for me and they wont happen overnight. But the reality is that for my own spiritual, mental and emotional well being, they need to occur. It is imperative. Well these are my revelations, what are yours? Please feel free to comment.

L.I.F.

2009-01-21T13:47:00.002-05:00

>>Jill Scott: Slowly, Surely (so true)

Slowly surely, slowly surely
I'll walk away from
That old desperate and tainted love
Caught up in a maze of love
The crazy crazy love
Thought it was good
Thought it was real
Thought it was
But it wasn't love

I just don't know
Where i should go
So
Slowly surely
I'll walk away from
Self-serving
Undeserving
Constantly hurting me love
Deserting me love
You said, i said, we said
But

Slowly surely
I'll walk away from
Confusing love
Misusing love
Abusing love
This can't be

Slowly surely
I'll walk away from
Self serving
Undeserving
Constantly hurting me love

I just don't know
Where i should go
No
I just don't know
Know, know, know
Where i should go
So

Slowly surely
I'll walk away from
That old desperate and dazed love
Caught up in the maze of love
The crazy craze of love

Thought it was good
Thought it was real
Thought it was
But it wasn't love

I just don't know where to go
So

Slowly surely
I'll walk away from
I'll walk away from
Slowly surely
I'll walk away from love
Oh
Lonely, surely one step at a time
But surely
I will pass the old love aside
And love me
Lonely,
Surely i'll walk away from
Slowly surely i'll walk away from desperating love
Caught up in the maze love
Crazy crazy crazy love
Slowly surely, i'll walk away from (repeat 5 times)
Slooooooowly suuuuuuurely, slowly surely

++MJB: Fade Away (Somedays i could LOL)

Ohhh...
Ohhh...

[Verse 1:]
It's starting to rain again.
Everything's gone now.
Even the sun.
It's starting to rain again.
Don't go away.
What have I done?
Hmmm...
I've been high and I've been low.
I've been wealthy and I've been poor.
I don't know much.
But one thing I know, this ain't no fun.
Hmmm...

[Chorus:]
Sometimes I wish that I can stand here and fade away.
(Sometimes)
Ohh...
So that no one could see the tears running down my face.
(Sometimes)
Oh, invisibility would be great.

[Verse 2:]
I painted a picture with her in his arms.
Hmmm...
It's starting to rain again.
It's all in my mind.
He's done me no harm.
Hmmm...
I've been up and I've been down.
Through all my drama, he's still around.
I can't believe that even now I put us through the storm.
Ohhh...

[Chorus:]
Sometimes I wish that I can stand here and fade away.
(Sometimes)
Ohhh...
So that no one could see the tears running down my face.
(Sometimes)
Oh, invisibility would be great.

[Bridge:]
Couldn't look at myself in the mirror.
Asking myself "How dumb could you be? "
Maybe everything would be much clearer if no one could see me.
Hmmm...
Ohhh...
Oh, invisibility would be great.
Ohhh...

[Chorus:]
Sometimes I wish that I can stand here and fade away.
(Sometimes)
Ohhh...
So that no one could see the tears running down my face.
Hey...
Hey...
Sometimes I wish that I can stand here and fade away.
(Sometimes)
Ohhh...
So that no one could see the tears running down my face.
(Sometimes)
Invisibility would be great.

++Alicia KEys: Karma (LOVE this song)

Weren't you the one who said that you don't want me anymore
and how you need the space, and give the keys back to ya door
and how i cried and tried and tried to make you stay with me
and still you said the love the was gone and that i had to leave

now you
talkin bout a family,
now you
sayin i complete ya dream
now you
sayin i'm ya everythind
you're confusin me what ya sayin to me
don't play wit me don't play wit me

chorus
cause what goes around comes around
what goes up must come down
now who's cryin desirin to come back to me
chorus again

i rememba when i was sittin home alone waitin for you til 3 a clock in the morn2
and when you came home u'd always have some sorry exscuse
and then explain it ta me like i'm just some kind of fool i sacrified the things i want to just to do things for you
and when it's time to do for me
ya never come through

now you
wanna be up unda me heeey
now you
have so much ta say to me heey
now you
wanna make time for meee
whatcha doin ta me
ya confusin me
don't play wit me don't play wit me

chorus2x

i rememba when i was sittin home alone waitin for you til 3 a clock in the morn
night after night knowin somthin goin on
wasn't long before i be gawa gawa gone
lord know it wasn't e-za believe mey neva thought you'd be the one ta decieve mey
ya neva do what ya supposed to do
no need to approach me boo cause i'm ova you

chorus3x
gotta stop tryin to come back ta me

it's called karma baby and it comes around

Well i know its short and sweet this wk, but i gotta go. Class calls LOL. It is what it is.

My definition of a good man(read for details ;-0)

2009-01-17T19:41:00.000-05:00

Well, it looks like i got some writing to do. So many experiences over the past few days and weeks have inspired me to write something like this, so i will. Then the world will know once and for all, what i expect. And maybe, just maybe things might start turning around. I already know what i dont like so ill save some words and just say what i love. (what i hate will be self explanatory; this might apply to P.P.s in the future too! LOL) Im not writing a novel so there wont be great detail. (if you want to know more, you can hit me up)
I want/need/like/love a man who.....
-Has substance
-Has a great personality
-Has a great head on his shoulders and is going somewhere in life.
-Who really likes me for me
-Who can hold a real conversation and keep me intrigued.
-Who is educated
-Who is sweet
-Attractive
-Funny
-Compassionate
-Considerate
-Easy going
-Flexible
-Silly
-Supportive
-Wants me for whats inside not just what i look like
-Who would never leave me lonely and never cheat
-Trustworthy
-Honest
-Loyal
-Treats me right at all times and never ignores me, even when he is hurt.
-Likes to talk
-Says exactly how he feels
-Keeps promises
-I have something in common with him
-Makes time for me no matter what
-Makes me feel appreciated, loved and cared for
-Who i can chill with and go out with and have a good time either way
-Cuddle with when its cold
-Will help me out when i need it and put my needs before his, b/c i would always try to do the same for him
-Shows me how he feels and not afraid to look like he cares...LOL
-Someone who understands that i have goals and is cool with that
-Someone who thinks the world of me and would hate to see me cry and they would never want another to take their place
-Somebody i can tell anything to
-Somebody with dress game(now i know im not a fashionista but ill try to look as good as you LOL)
-Somebody who listens to what i say and takes it in stride so as to not have to hear it again (so i wont nag you! LOL)
-Somebody i can give my all to and not regret it.
Well thats all i can think of right now, but you get the picture. (I wasnt expecting for it to be this concise but whatever. ) This is what i expect basically. If you aint with it, im not with you.. LOL

P.P.

2009-01-17T19:06:00.000-05:00

Now i know i havent done this in awhile but once again the circumstances call for it.

1) I hate when someone is telling me something and i cant figure it out That makes me feel so dumb.And then when they finally tell me i feel even worse. Especially if it is simple.

2)I hate when people are talking about something that i dont know about b/c im not cool with them or its just some secret stuff. I mean keep it to yourself, at least in front of me. Its kind of rude actually.

3)I hate when my parents constantly nag me. It never fails when im at home she yells at me for something stupid and when im at school she calls me. Its just that sometimes i need my space. They always have to be on me.

4)I hate when im talking to someone and they cant spell. It really gets on my nerves. I mean its not rocket science, you learn how to spell in kindergarten hun LOL. If you cant spell ill never figure out what you are saying. Its one thing if you are in a rush or you have an occasional typo b/c everybody does but not if it happens every time you talk. Thats uncalled for.

5)I hate feeling alone. I mean im used to it because im an only child. But sometimes i want to feel loved and appreciated. Thats probably why i seek out men to feel loved. But they are only out for themselves most of the time. So instead of looking for them to make me feel that way, i need to look within and appreciate, love, care about, and respect myself.

6)I hate feeling like the person im with doesnt care about me. I mean if you never cared about me in the first place or you dont anymore, just let me know so i can keep my heart in tact and find a replacement. Its a waste of time. But im done agonizing about this.

7)I hate that i procrastinate. I mean its fun while im doing it but it has consequences in the long run.

8)I hate that im lazy. I need to get out there and start enjoyin life more.

9) I hate that im naive and stubborn. I need to learn to realize that some things just arent meant to be. That no matter how hard i try its not going to work.

10) I hate that real love is so hard to find. I just want to know what that feels like. I thought i was there before but i think i might have been wrong.
Well thats where im at now. Thats all i hate for this wk. I might be
back with another post later. So look out for that.

L.I.F.

2009-01-14T16:11:00.000-05:00

++If: Destiny's Child
(This song is the truth. You are gonna miss me if i ever decide to leave for good. But b/c i love you i dont think i can......will you ever love me the way i love you? )
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Michelle]
If I Don't Pick Up The Phone Like I Use To (For You)
Don't You take It Personal

[Kelly]
If I Don't Do I All The Things That I Use To (To You)
I Ain't Mad At You

[Beyonce]
If You Get The Feelings Stressed Up In Your Chest Thinking
That You About To Lose (It's True)
And If you losing Out On Sleep Home Worrying About Me Ohhhhhh
This How It Be

[Chorus]
If You Don't No
Now you Know You Going To Miss
My Love
And I Ain't Not Stressing Bout A Dawg On Thang
Cause I was True When I Gave You
My Love (My Love Yeahhh)

If You Search You Would Never Find Another Love Like My Love
You going To Miss Me I Ain't Got Time For You to Sit Around
And Play With my Love (My Love)

[Michelle]
If You Think I Caught A Feeling When I Heard About That Other Chick
(Noooooo) I Already New
About It

[Kelly]
I Just Needed Time Just To Clear My Mind And That's What Said

[Beyonce]
And If You Would've Taken care Of Home I Wouldn't Even Be Alone Cause I Would Be Right There
With You Taken Care Of You Steady loving You Like I Used To Do

[Chorus]

There Was A Time I Blamed Myself
But I Can See So clearly Now Cause You Are Gone
That's How I Spend All My Time When You Weren't Home Playing Around With Them Raggedy Hafers
No More stressing, No more crying, No More Trying
I Would Rather be Alone
I'd Rather Be All By Myself
Because This Valuable Heart Of Mine Was Yours Until I Realize Finally Opened My Eyes

You See Ladies I No I Need It What Was I Thinking He Going To Miss Me When I'm Gone

[Chorus]
[Until Song Fade]

**Rihanna: Rehab
(I love this song. But i love you even more. But do you even care?)

feat. Justin Timberlake, Timbaland

[Verse 1:]
Baby, baby
When we first met
I never felt something so strong
You were like my lover
And my best friend
All wrapped into one
With a ribbon on it
And all of a sudden
When you left
I didn't know how to follow
It's like a shot
That spun me around
And now my heart left
I feel so empty and hollow

[Pre Chorus:]
And I'll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you
Don't even recognize
The ways you hit me
Do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame

[Chorus:]
And now I feel like, oh
You're the reason
Why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke all
These cigarettes no more
I guess this is what I get
For wishful thinking
Should've never let you into my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
It's not usual like how I'll leave
It's like I checked into rehab
Baby you're my decease
It's like I checked into rehab
Baby you're my decease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my decease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my decease

[Verse 2:]
Damn,
Ain't it crazy
When your love slams?
You'll do anything
For the one you love
'Cause anytime
That you needed me
I'd be there
It's like
You were my favorite drug
The only problem is
That you was using me
In a different way
That I was using you
But now that I know
That it's not meant to be
You gotta go
I gotta win myself over you

[Pre Chorus:]

[Chorus:]

[Ad libs]

[Chorus:]

>>Mariah Carey: I stay in love
( i really do. i mean i might have put this before, but whatever its still valid. no matter what i still love him)

Oh baby
Baby, I stay in love with you

Dying inside cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby
I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive

If you dont' know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It's no mistaking
We're just erasing
From our hearts and minds

And I know we said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you

And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now
No matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you

Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Baby, I stay in love with you

It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gon' act
Like what we had
Ain't nothin' at all now

Hey, what I wanna do is
Ride shotgun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SUV
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone
Now go I know

We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you

And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you
Now no matter what I do
Baby, baby
I stay in love with you

We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you

And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you
Now no matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you

I stay in love
Love
Oh, I stay in love.

}}Mary J Blige: Give me you

(This is my song, i love it!! Its the truth)

I don't ask for too many things
Only one thing I really need
That is you baby next to me
With that I'm satisfied
Don't need diamonds
I don't need gold
I just need someone here to hold
To keep me warm when the nights are cold
That would do just fine, just fine

You don't have to promise me the stars
Just promise me love, inside your heart
And that's enough
Baby that's enough

1 - (Give me you)
Give me you, give me all of you
(Give me night)
All my nights spent just holding you
(Give me day)
All my days being close to you
Nothing else that I need
(Give me you)
Give me you, give me all your love
(Give me time)
All your time, all your tender time
(All your heart)
All your soul baby that's enough
Nothing else that I need
Give me you, give me you
That's enough for me baby

Hmmm
I don't need things that money buys
All I need is there in your eyes
I just need your heart next to mine
All my whole life through

You don't have to bring the moon to me
Just bring me the love
The love that I need
And that's enough
Ooh baby that's enough

Repeat 1

You don't have to promise me the stars
Just promise me that I have your heart
You don't have to bring the world to me
Just give me your word, you will never leave
Cause having you beside me, I have everything I need
So give me, give me you

(Give me you)
(Give me night)
All my nights spent just holding you
(Give me day)
All my days being close to you
Nothing else that I need, oh
(Give me you)
Give me you, give me all your love
(Give me time)
All your time, all your tender time
(All your heart)
All your soul baby that's enough
That's enough, nothing else that I need
Give me you, give me you
That's enough for me baby, yeah
Give me you

Lyrics im feeling :-)

2009-01-07T18:23:00.004-05:00

>>YOu complete me: Keyshia Cole
(I love this song. I mean nobody can really complete you. you are already whole alone. but i just really feel what this song is saying. No matter what happens you gotta stay down for the one you love.)

Can you hear me out there
Have you ever had someone who loves you
Never leave your side
I know youll be here because...you love me...yes you do

I'll give you all my life and all my love if you promise that youll be here forever
I'll give you all of me..I'll give you everything..If you promise that you'll never leave me
What my friends say dont matter
You been right here from the start
And i'll get on my kness...I'll give you all of me...If you'll never leave my side

Because you love me...you complete me...you hold my heart in your hands
And its okay cause I'll trust that...you'll be the best man that you can...Baby you love me e e yea. oh yes you do..yea

And no matter what they ever say about you
I'm gonna stay by your side promise me
No matter what they say about me..that..you're gonna be here until the end of time
Cause you held me down when nobody was around
And gave me all the love I need
So give me more
Dont you ever leave
Cause complete me

You love me...you complete me...you hold my heart in your hands
And its okay cause I'll trust that you'll be the best man that you can
Cause you give me my heart back
give me my love back baby
i want it all
because its never enough
give me my heart
give me my love back baby
i want it all
because
its never enough

You love me...you complete me... you hold my heart in your hand
And its okay cause I'll trust that you'll be the best man that you can
Cause you love me...you complete me..you hold my heart in your hands
And its okay cause I'll trust that you'll be the best man that you can

And its okay
I know you do
I know you do
Yes you do
I need you to
Yeaa..I love you baby yeaa oh

**When it hurts: Avant
(all i know is, this song is the truth. i mean thats what love is about. loving somebody even when times are hard. when you feel like giving up, you hold on.)
{Verse 1}
Can You Take Me Telling U The Truth
When I Know The Situation
Look Shady Azz Fuck
Will U Believe When I Say
I Knew You Be Trippin So I
Slept Out In My Ride In The
Driveway

{Bridge}
So Before We Get Into
The Things That We Shouldn't
Do Ima Need Ur Undivided Attention
'Cause It's Fantasies and Reality
Baby Which One Are We Living In Oh

{Chrous}
When It Hurts Will We Still Be
The Same Two Lovers All Over Each Other
When It Hurts Will We Still See
Why We Got Together Promise That
We Never Never Be Temporary(Not Another)
Ordinary (Uh Uh) We Should Change
Peoples Definition Of Love So
Forget What U Heard The Only Way
That This Will Work Is If U
Love Me When It Hurts
(If U Love Me When It Hurts)

{Verse 2}
I Don't Want To Blend In With
Every Other Relationship That
Be Falling In And Out Girl Not
Us I Knew That I Trip 'Cause
Every Time We Argue I Think
About Having Someone On
The Side Girl

{Bridge}
So Before We Get Into
The Things That We Shouldn't
Do Ima Need Ur Undivided Attention
'Cause It's Fantasies and Reality
Baby Which One Are We Living In Oh

{Chorus}
When It Hurts Will We Still Be
The Same Two Lovers All Over Each Other
When It Hurts Will We Still See
Why We Got Together Promise That
We Never Never Be Temporary(Not Another)
Ordinary (Uh Uh) We Should Change
Peoples Definition Of Love So
Forget What U Heard The Only Way
That This Will Work You Gotta
Love Me When It Hurts

{Verse 3}
Baby Girl We Got to Face It
That Will Be Times That We Let
Each Other Down Oh And On Them
Days You Aint Feeling Me Will
U Be Able To Stick Around
'Cause Anything Worth Havings
Worth Fighting For If We
Really Want This Things To
Work We Got To Go To War
Girl Im In This I Mean Really In This Thang
But Through The Tears Will U Still Be Here

{Chorus}
When It Hurts Will We Still Be
The Same Two Lovers All Over Each Other
When It Hurts Will We Still See
Why We Got Together Promise That
We Never Never Be Temporary(Not Another)
Ordinary (Uh Uh) I Want To Change
Peoples Definition Of Love So
Forget What U Heard 'Cause Only Way
That This Will Work Is If U
Love Me When It Hurts

When It Hurts X2
Do U Love Me When It Hurts
(Repeat 'Til Song Fades Out)

++I wanna be: Chris Brown
(i love this song. it makes me feel happy.)
[Intro:]
[Sigh] Look. I know we've been friends for a while now.
But, I just feel like I can confess to you.
It's gonna be hard but.
Alright here it goes...

[Verse 1:]
Imagine that the pillow that you cried on was my chest,
and the tissue that you wiped your face with was my hand.
Girl, imagine: if you needed advise about some other guy, I'm the one that comes to mind.
Not tryna hear you tell nobody that I'm just a friend,
just trying to make sure I'm that body that you call your man,
and anytime you need a shoulder -- it's yours, night or day,
but what I'm tryna say is, I wanna be...

[Chorus:]
The last number you call late at night (said I wanna be),
The first one that you dial when you open your eyes.
Wanna be the one you run to,
wanna be the one that ain't gonna hurt you,
I wanna be yeah, I wanna be yeah..
Be the man making your girl jealous,
be the guy shuttin' down all the fellas..
whatever you need, girl, it's all on me:
soldier, your friend or your lover, girl,
I wanna be...

[Verse 2:]
Would it be cool?
Would you mind if I called you my boo,
what if the next whip you was pushin' was the one I bought for you?
Can I be the one that meets your pops and take your mama shoppin', be the only one they like?
Have you thought about it -- wait -- really thought about it?
Maybe you should take some time
call your girls and talk about it, yeah.
'cause I done already made up my mind,
don't need no more time to know if I wanna be with you,
I wanna be...

[Verse 3:]
Put me on your screen saver, all over your myspace and make me one of your top favorites,
that's where I wanna be...
The one you cryin' for (stand up for and fightin' for)
wanna be your good, bad, love, hate girl..

[Chorus]

[x2]
Cross my heart hoped to die, on everything that's good,
I'm gonna do you right, show you right, get this understood.

[Chorus]

Girl I wanna be, I wanna be.... [sigh]
I wanna be, I wanna be...

>>Long Distance: Brandy
(well the person i love is not really far away. But it feels like it metaphorically. i really feel what this song is sayin.)
There's only so many songs that I can sing to pass the time.
And I'm running out of things to do to get you off my mind (oh whoa).
All I have is this picture in a frame (oh ah),
that I hold close to see your face everyday.

With you is where I'd rather be,
but we're stuck where we are.
It's so hard, you're so far..
This long distance is killing me.
I wish that you are here with me,
but we're stuck where we are
it's so hard, you're so far..
This long distance is killing me.

It's so hard, it's so hard, where we are, where we are, you're so far.
This long distance is killing me.
It's so hard, it's so hard, where we are, where we are, you're so far
(so hard, so hard, where we are, where we are, your so far).
This long distance is killing me.

Now the minutes feel like hours
and the hours feel like days.. (whoa oh whoa)
While I'm away (way-ayyyy)
You know right now I can't be home (ahhhhhh)
But I'm coming home soon (ahhhhhh)
Coming home soon.. (ahhhhhh a hahhh)
All I have is this picture in a frame (ahhhhh)
that I hold close to see your face everyday.

With you is where i'd rather be (where I'd rather be..),
but we're stuck where we are (oh oh).
It's so hard, (oh ah) you're so far.. (oh ahhh)
This long distance is killing me.
I wish that you are here with me (you are here with me),
but we're stuck where we are (oh oh)
It's so hard, (oh ah) you're so far.. (oh ahhh)

Can you hear me crying?
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh (ohh-oh ohh-oh)
Can you hear me crying? (oh-oh ah!)
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh (ohh-oh ohh-oh)
Can you hear me crying? (oh-oh ah!)
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh (ohh-oh ohh-oh)
Ooooh woo whoa ah ahhhhhhh oh ahhh (oh-oh ah!)
Uh ahhh uh ahhh whoaooooohh ah (ohh-oh ohh-oh)

With you is where i'd rather be (where I'd rather be..) whoaaaa!
(but we're stuck where we are) oh!
(it's so hard) So hard (your so far), so far
(this long distance is killing me) This long distance is killing me
I wish that you are here with me (you are here with me) meee..
(but we're stuck where we are) Stuck where we are! So hard! So far
This long distance is killing me

It's so hard, it's so hard, where we are, where we are, you're so far.
This long distance is killing me.
It's so hard, it's so hard, where we are, where we are, you're so far
(so hard, so hard, where we are, where we are, your so far).
This long distance is killing me.

There's only so many songs that I can sing to pass the time...

Well thats where im at this week. I like love songs. They take me to another place. When i listen to them, i forget about whats goin on with me and leave it all up to the music. It really does soothe the soul to hear some good music that you can feel. Well thats it for this wk...Peace, Joy, and Love

What ♥ is to me

2009-01-03T20:51:00.000-05:00

To me, Love is a lot of things. But to keep it short and to the point i will only list the most crucial.

~LOve is when you want to give your all to somebody and sacrifice to make them happy.

~Love is when you think about that person first and forget about yourself, just for a minute.

~Love is feeling like nobody in the world can make you as happy as that person.

~Love is feeling like nothing is right when they are not around.

~Love is knowing when to back off and when to give support.

~Love is real.

~Love is the truth.

~Love is sometimes pain.

~Love is joy.

~Love is happiness but it does not solely create it. Real Happiness comes from within.

~Love is being able to admit when you are wrong and apologizing.

~Love is when you get up in the morning and think about that person and you pray for them before you go to bed at night.

~Love is being disappointed when they don't call, but yet knowing that they still care.

~Love is trust.

~Love is generosity.

~Love is kind.

~Love is unconditional.

~Love is comforting.

~Love is one of the greatest feelings in the world but it can make you feel so many bad emotions as well.

~Love is something that can make you do some crazy things if you let it.

~Love is unstoppable.

~Love is irresistable.

~Love is when that person complements you, not supplements you.

~Love makes your heart skip a beat.

~Love makes you nervous even though you have known that person forever.

~Love is caring what they think of you, but knowing that to them you are just as you should be.

~Love is knowing that whatever happens, that person is down for you.

~Love is learning not to regret things but learning from your mistakes because everything happens for a reason.

~Love is when they make you mad but you can forgive them without hesitation.

~Love is when every thought of them makes you smile and fall more in love.

~Love is when you can call them at anytime and just talking for a minute or two brightens your day.

~Love is when you can speak your mind, knowing that the person will take your feelings into consideration.

~Love is time-consuming but if you are with the one you love, then it is so worth it!

Love means all these things and more to me. I cant think of anymore. Feel free to add more if you think of some better ones! Well ill be back with more like this soon.But i just had the urge to write about this. Its been heavy on my mind lately. :-)

NYRS and my year in review ;-)

2008-12-31T18:49:00.003-05:00

Well every year brings something new and teaches you something new. After a while they all seem to blend together but in actuality, every year i emerge stronger, more intelligent, more confident and more mature. I also manage to accomplish a few big things if not all of my goals.

>>What i did accomplish:

1) I spoke my mind more.
2) I made some new friends.
3)I learned to appreciate different types of people
4)I learned a new language.
5)I finished almost 2 years of nursing school and kept my grades up.
6)I learned to be more independent.
7)I became a little more confident.
8)I learned more about life.
9)I learned to work hard to get what i want.
10)I learned alot about relationships.

More but once again...dont wanna write a novel. LOL

++Well this year i have quite a few resolutions. Here they are.

1)To love myself first and never let anybody compromise who i am.
2)To do everything big. If im going to do something in '09 im going to make the most of it and try my hardest to succeed at it. (Work hard and finish sophomore year)
3)To get to know myself better and be a better person.(If i ever intend to find love in the future i definitely have to know myself first.)
4)To shed some weight.
5)To appreciate my fam and friends and spend more time with the people i know and love.
6)To get out more and have more fun.
7)To pray more and read the good book, if i dont make it to church. LOL
8)To stop being so critical and analytical about little things and move on with life.(at least where its not needed)
9)To get my driver's license(I know im too old not to have it right? whatever....LOL)
10)Just take time to chill out and take care of me...LOL

Well thats all i can think of...If i could even accomplish half of this i would be happy..LOL. I just hope '09 will be even bigger and better than this year and something tells me it will be, if i have anything to say about it!!! ;-) HAppy New Year YALL, be blessed and work hard to accomplish whatever you set out to do this year. New year better you!!! ;-) Peace, Joy, and LOve

P.P.O.T.W.(aka stuff i hate LOL)

2008-12-29T15:02:00.001-05:00

Okay havent done one of these in a while. But i think the current circumstances call for it. Here we go.

1) Dont you hate when you give your all to somebody, yet they just ignore you. Then when you finally give up they "want" you. However they do nothing to show it? It really hurts and i dont know what to do. But i guess i'll just have to wait a million years for a certain person to realize how great i am or just forget him. Id rather do the former because for some reason i just cant forget him. Oh well we'll see what '09 brings.

2)I hate when it seems like a man only wants me for sex. I mean its flattering and all. But i just wish somebody would like me for my physical attributes as well as what im bringing to the table mentally. I always thought i would find or had found "the one" but im really starting to believe that there is no "one". I guess the one is whoever you love at the time and the feeling is mutual. I guess the one is also somebody who you feel is worthy of your goods. Its time to stop waiting for a perfect man and just take the next nice one. (im not sayin settle or take a mediocre one, but at least be realistic)

3) I hate when a man cant tell me the truth. I know i have said this before. But i mean if you cant keep it 100 with me, then what else is there to the relationship? every relationship should be built on trust. I might be mad but at least i'll know.

4)I hate when i get ignored. I mean if you dont care anymore or you never did, just let me know. I know i said something to this effect before but i think it needed to be said again. First off its rude. Second, you wouldnt want anyone to do it to you.

5)I hate being bored. Its like i have tons of stuff to do. But sometimes none of that seems fun. Its seems like ive done everything sometimes. LOL it drives me crazy when i cant find something to occupy myself. Thats when i start doing stupid random stuff LOL.

6)I hate when you are trying to relax, but the people in your house(in this case, mom and pop dukes LOL) will not stop calling you. Thats when i say ok i love ya but please just let me be. Thats when i say dang when does school start. Its times like that when i really wouldnt mind being back at school. LOL

7) I hate when mom or pop dukes invade my space. Once again this brings the thought to mind, when do i graduate and how soon can i afford my own place so i can officially be ms. independent LOL. Its like they dont want me to have no peace.

8) I hate when people, namely mom and pop dukes still act like im such a youngin. But thats when i say to myself, okay didnt i just finish almost 2 years of college and havent i basically lived on my own all that time? LOL. I guess i wont truly be grown til 25 as they say. when i can pay my own way. In reality i dont want to be old. But at the same time, you get more freedom and sometimes more respect even though with age comes more responsibility. I dont really want to pay all them bills. I just wanna be able to say i can pay them and have my own life. LOL

9)I hate that school wont get any easier. And there are two more years left after this semester. I can already tell im gonna hate it so im tryna make this break last as long as possible. LOL. I mean from this point on, there will be less classes than previous years, but the classes are more complex and intense, and ill have clinicals. I already told the folks that i probably wont be home and they wont hear from me for a while. Im tryna go harder this semester and pass all my classes. I want more As. But like pop dukes says, as school goes on, its harder to get as and even bs so maybe ill have to settle for some C+s. Which i despise because im a perfectionist. LOL I was mad when i got more bs than as this semester. but i still maintained an ok gpa (3.35 LOL).

10) I hate that break goes so fast. Im going to miss sleeping late. Im going to miss having nothing to do and loving it(except for the extreme boredom at times LOL). Im going to miss the really good food. (maybe ill take some back if theres any left...im greedy>> LOL)

Okay so you see where my head is. Kinda impatient, Kinda bored, Kinda happy. A lil bit of everything LMAO.Well i could write more but i cant think of anything else. Ill be back with more next wk. PS: look out for my NYRs tomorrow or NYE. See ya!!

Lyrics Im feeLIng ;-)

2008-12-24T13:50:00.000-05:00

Heres the XMAs Edition: MErry CHRISTMas YALL!!

++Destiny's Child: Winter Paradise(LOve this song...i listen to the whole cd every year!! LOL)

this is how i feel bout x-mas,im doin a 1 time deal
Its the smell of pine
Its the x-mas lights
The feelin of god
The good o'l egg nog
Its the blessed faces
Its them happy faces
Its the family bread
Its the uvs underwaer
Its that anxiousness
Its that great homeness
Its that rumpshusness after givin' all them gifts

Chorus:
Oh loving and laughing and sharing this winter paradise (2 times)

What this x-mas means to me: spending my time wit my family
Knowing it the season for giving
Running down stairs for moms to keep
Sending x-mas love to the ones u know
Kissin' y'o man under the misoetoe
Spreding love to everyone
And thanking god for the birth of his son

Chorus:
Oh loving and laughing and sharing this winter paradise (2 times)

Snowing and its cold outside
Raping gifts by the fireside
My family is here
X-mas day is near
Its a very special time of the year
A blessed time
A joyous time
A giving time
A good feeling time
A happy time
A laughing time
Sharing this winter paradise

Chorus:
Oh loving and laughing and sharing this winter paradise (2 times)

Its yo gets you give
Its yo relative
Its yo kids in the back room
Its the home cooked food
Its the x-mas colors
The stocking stuffers
Its the impatient nights
Winter paradise

Chorus:
Oh loving and laughing and sharing this winter paradise (2 times)

Ha ha haa haa

(end)

+++++++++++++++++

** Chris Brown: This Christmas(so in love with his version, so angelic!! LOL)

Hang all the mistletoe
Im gonna get to know you better, yeah
This christmas
And as we trim the tree
How much fun its gonna be together, yeah ha
This christmas

Fireside is blazing bright
Were caroling through the night
And this christmas, will be yeah
A very special christmas, for me yeah

Presents and cards are here
My world is filled with cheer and you, ohh yeah
This christmas
And as I look around
Your eyes outshine the town, they do
This christmas
Fireside is blazing bright
Were caroling through the night

And this christmas, will be
A very special christmas, for me yeah

Alright, break it down, ha ha ha

Ooh yeah, yeah yeah, alright
Yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Alright now, right now, now

Fireside, oh, is blazing bright
Were caroling through the night, yeah
And this christmas, will be, oh
A very special christmas, for me yeah
And this christmas, will be
A very special christmas, for me oh oh

Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Merry christmas, ooh yeah
Gonna have a merry christmas, ohh yeah, oh oh
Merry christmas, oh it will be
Oh, a very very very special christmas
A very special christmas (this christmas)
Alright now, right now, yeah oh
It will be now, oh (this christmas)
Oh, this will be, this will be, baby
A very special
Have a merry merry christmas (hey yeah)
And a happy new year
Oh hey, alright, yeah yeah yeah
Merry christmas
This christmas
Oh this will be, this will be, baby

>>Toni Braxton: The Christmas Song(LOve her version!!)

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like eskimos

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Helps to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that santa's on his way
And he's got lots of toys
And many goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly

And so, i'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry christmas to you

Well those are 3 of my favorites i have so many more but yeah im trying to keep it short and sweet!! LOL See yall next week!!! Merry XMAs ;-)

PRos and ConS (read for detaiLS ;-0)

2008-12-19T14:48:00.002-05:00

Well here it is. i been thinking about this topic alot lately so i decided to write about it. Just my thoughts, not law. Take them or leave them its up to you.

Pros: Being in a relationship

1) There is someone in your life that genuinely loves, cares for, and appreciates you for who you truly are.

2) You feel the same way about them.

3)You have someone to cuddle with LOL

4) You can tell them anything and they'll take it for what it is(wont twist your words)

5)You have alot in common

6)Both parties are pulling their weight to make it work

7)That person is your friend and your lover.

8)That person listens to you.

9) They remember the little things that make you happy.

10) You both see eye to eye on things, most of the time.

11)They are very supportive.

12)They treat you right

(more but i dont wanna write a novel LOL, feel free to add more)

Cons:Being in a relationship

1)The other person could cheat.

2) They will lie.

3)They will act distant for no apparent reason

4)You might feel unloved sometimes

5)No matter how mad you are you still love them but you dont want to get your heart broken or your feelings hurt.

6)You might not talk everyday or hang out as much as you should.

7)The person may take you for granted.

8)Yall lose the connection.

9)No matter what they do, you still care, even though you shouldnt

10)It takes alot of work and dedication to make a relationship work.

11) You may not get alot of alone time.

12)Complicates life.

(Now all of these, pros and cons can apply to you too, not just the person, as always, its a two way street!!)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Pros: Being single

1) You can do whatever you want.

2) Dont have to worry about calling anyone.

3)You have alot of alone time.

4) You can have alot of male friends to fill the void.(strictly platonic though, not on no trick stuff LOL)

5)You feel happier sometimes because you dont have to worry about your heart getting broken.

6)Life is more simple.

7)you can just go on about your business and do you. In other words, be ms. independent (LOL)

8)Sometimes you learn more about love from being single.

9)it gives you time to grow as a person so you can be better for the next or your ex if it works out!!

10)You dont have to live up to somebody's expectations.

11)You learn to appreciate it when you do have a man. But you also learn that you dont need a man, you just want a man.

12)Sometimes life is more spontaneous.

Cons: Being single

1) It gets lonely

2)Sometimes you want a man in your life but it just doesnt work out that way.

3)Life may get boring after a while.

4) You get impatient for love.

5)You may use being single as an excuse to be evil to all mankind... LOL

6)Its not fun being alone all the time.

7)you miss your ex

8)Sometimes you want less spontaneity and more continuity and consistency, which is what a relationship USually offers.

9)You dont have anyone to cuddle with LOL

10)You need some excitement in your life.

11)Old memories flood your head.

12)You might get fat from all that comfort food LOL

Well those are my thoughts...i know funny right? But yeah there are pros and cons to everything. You have to take the good with the bad because life and love arent all roses. You have to get through the storm to see the sunshine. So i guess both are necessary. Sometimes you have more of one than you would like but thats life. You just gotta work through it and pray that god will bless you with a love that is unconditional, real, and true.

Lyrics Im feeLing ;-)

2008-12-17T15:17:00.003-05:00

++Jazmine Sullivan: My Foolish Heart ( I love this song!!!)

Oh Oh
Oh Oh

[Verse 1:]
My foolish heart it made me fall in love with him.
I know it goes with how it's feeling.
Oh Oh Oh.
My foolish heart was broken when he left us in the cold.
Now I'm left to fix the pieces.
Oh Oh Oh.

[Chorus:]
I told you once I told you twice, the next time I won't be so nice.
You so quick to give it up, when you don't think about us. (you don't think about us)
I won't let you keep (keep) hurting me, if you gone keep causing me pain.
I won't let you keep (keep) hurting me, I'm 'bout to take you out the game.

Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah
Oh Oh
Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah
Oh Oh

[Verse 2:]
My foolish heart will jump into the deepest of the seas, even if it cannot swim.
Oh Oh Oh.
My foolish heart will trust just anyone, it's so naive.
And I'm left to save it again.
Oh Oh Oh.

[Chorus:]
I told you once I told you twice, the next time I won't be so nice.
You so quick to give it up, when you don't think about us. (you don't think about us)
I won't let you keep (keep) hurting me, if you gone keep causing me pain.
I won't let you keep (keep) hurting me, I'm 'bout to take you out the game.

Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah
Oh Oh
Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah
Oh Oh

[Bridge:]
I can't take another broken heart.
Maybe we should spend time apart.
Oh Oh Oh.
Driving me crazy, I can't take it no more.
Maybe we should spend time apart.

[Chorus: x2]
I told you once I told you twice, the next time I won't be so nice.
You so quick to give it up, when you don't think about us. (you don't think about us)
I won't let you keep (keep) hurting me, if you gone keep causing me pain.
I won't let you keep (keep) hurting me, I'm 'bout to take you out the game.

Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah
Oh Oh
Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah
Oh Oh

>> IF you leave: Musiq Ft. MJB (Classic !!)

[Verse 1: (Musiq Soulchild)]
You think
Im so full of it, full of it
But I think Im just fed up baby
You think I can be so arrogant, arrogant
But Im just tryna get keep my head up baby
You think I procrastinate baby
But I think Im taking my time
You think you need to leave
But I think I disagree but

[Chorus: (Musiq Soulchild)]
If you believe youll do best without me
Ill let it go girl, Its over
But before we say good bye
Lets give it a try
If you leave, then baby I'll leave
I'll let it go girl, Its over
But I have no doubt
We can work it out

[Verse 2: (Mary J Blige)]
Yeah
I think your so full of it, full of it
You just dont know when to let up, Baby
I think you're so arrogant, arrogant
But you think you're so much better baby
That I think It aint dealt before me to judge you by your flaws & thats why
No I could criticize, but I put that aside
To focus on you & I

[Chorus: (Mary J Blige)]
If you believe you'll do best without me
Then I'll let it go boy, Its over
But before we say goodbye
Lets give it a try
If you leave, then baby I'll leave
I'll let it go boy, its over
But I have no doubt
We can work it out
Yeah

[Bridge: (Both)]
Now if you wanna go
Baby then I'll let you go
& even though Im tryna hold on
I cant let you go

& if youre gonna leave me, youre gonna miss me
& Im not saying that Ill be here waiting

Since we here right now (instead of just walking out)
Let's work to reach the point that I know we can be ?

[Chorus: (Both)]
But if you believe, you'll do best without me
Then I guess I'll let you go
Its over (its over)
If you wanna say goodbye
Lets give it a try
If you leave, then baby I'll leave
I'll Let it go, its over
I have no doubt
That we can work it out

If you believe, you'll do best without me
I'll let it go girl, its over
Before we say goodbye
Lets give it a try
If you leave, then baby I'll leave

**J holiday: Without You ( Kinda old but still a HOT joint!!)
It's crazy how I'm seeing you
'cause I just told your little cousin the other day
I need to speak to you
girl how you doing, how you been
let's get all of that all the way
I got permission to say
I heard you had a baby on me
is that the truth?
or is the block just hating on me
and I ain't tripping if you got your self a man
girl 'cause I can change that given have a chance

[Chorus:]
first let me apologize for anything I did that made you cry
I know you don't wanna hear this song
but I promise I won't take too long
I need for you to hear the rest
at least I got it off my chest
don't walk away
'cause if you do you'll miss the best part
of what I gotta say
Baby I want to go back in time
to the first time, get it right
I'm sorry
And my life is nothing without you, baby
My life is nothing without you
My life is nothing without you

I know that it was hard for you
and I know that you were hungry for love
girl and I was starving you
and it was childish I admit
how i tried to get you back for everything you did
girl I would have never packed up and bounced
if you ain't feel the need to go sneaking around
and I'm sure you wouldn't have checked my messages
If I would've been honest about where I've been

[Chorus]

Baby I want, to go back in time
to the first time, get it right
to the first time, and get it right
Baby I want, to go back in time
to the first time, get it right
'cause I'm Sorry
And my life is nothing without you
nothing without you baby
nothing without you baby
nothing without you baby

>>Neyo: Single (I LOVEEEE THIS SONG it is so cute!!!)
Yeah...
Ahhh..
Hey hey hey

[Rap]
Everybody in the club right now, tell the dj to turn it loud
Baby girl this your favorite song, Baby girl it's your favorite song
This for girls who got their own car, this for girls who got their own crib
This for girls who got their own shhhhh... (1, 2, 3, 4)

[Ne-Yo]
If you came here by yourself tonight,
Cause' he wouldn't pick up the phone,
He was supposed to bring you here tonight,
Couldn't find him so you came alone.
It don't matter cause' you're here now, and the music you're enjoying
So for the next couple minutes
Baby imma be your boyfriend.

Pretty mama if you're single (hey), single,
You don't got to be alone tonight
So while the DJ play that single (hey), single
Just pretend that I'm you're man tonight

See you don't got to be alone, I'll be your boyfriend
See you don't got to be alone, girl I'll be your boyfriend
See you don't got to be alone, baby I'll be your boyfriend
Ooo be your boyfriend till the song goes off

See you don't got to be alone, I'll be your boyfriend
See you don't got to be alone, girl I'll be your boyfriend
See you don't got to be alone, baby I'll be your boyfriend
Ooo be your boyfriend till the song goes off
Oooo (ooooo)
Ooooo (ooooo)
Ooooo (ooooo)
Hey, Be your boyfriend till the song goes off

He don't tell you that you're beautiful (beautiful), let me tell you to the beat
He don't tell you that he love you girl (loves you girl), let me sing it in a harmony
Let my song get you higher (higher), we don't have to come back down (Nooo)
And if ever you should miss me (miss me), just tell the DJ run it back now (ohhh)

Pretty mama if you're single (hey), single,
You don't got to be alone tonight
So while the DJ run this single (hey), single
Just pretend that I'm you're man tonight

See you don't got to be alone, I'll be your boyfriend
See you don't got to be alone, girl I'll be your boyfriend
See you don't got to be alone, baby I'll be your boyfriend
Ooo be your boyfriend till the song goes off

See you don't got to be alone, I'll be your boyfriend
See you don't got to be alone, girl I'll be your boyfriend
See you don't got to be alone, baby I'll be your boyfriend
Ooo be your boyfriend till the song goes off
Oooo (ooooo)
Ooooo (ooooo)
Ooooo (ooooo)
Hey be your boyfriend till the song goes off
Oooo (ooooo)
Ooooo (ooooo)
Ooooo (ooooo)
Be your boyfriend till the song goes off

Well those are just some of the songs im feeling at the moment. Some are old, some are new. BUt yeah it is what it is be back next week with more for ya>>

Revelations....

2008-12-10T16:55:00.002-05:00

Its so funny how i can be so naive sometimes.
So blind to reality.
Because sometimes i try so hard to see the good in people even though it might not even be there.
Im just too stubborn to realize the abundance of flaws that they have.
I need to grow up.
I need to learn from my mistakes.
Everything happens for a reason.
And like my friend said....you are supposed to use your experiences to learn and grow, you cant take the easy way out.
Life will throw you some curve balls but you just have to know how to manuever around them and not get hit the next time.
I just wish i could find a dude thats on my level.
Someone just as intelligent.
Who wants to be successful and do something with his life.
I was lying to myself and being stupid thinking he would change and get better if i gave him time.
We all know that was never going to happen.
If a man wants to change he will.
It has to be because he wants to.
You cant make a man do anything.
So i need to just do me and accomplish great things.
Then when the time is right...just like my friend said...the right person will come along.
A quote once said something like this: happiness is like a butterfly if you chase it , it eludes you, but if you wait for it to come your way it will stay.
I think thats true.
Its time for me to learn to be happy alone, because if you are not happy alone when will you be happy?
That means accepting my flaws and improving my strengths.
Because at the end of the day im more good than bad.
Im tired of waiting for someone else to acknowledge that.
Its time for me to realize that.
Another quote once said:everything will be okay in the end...if its not the okay then its not the end.
So im going forward, not looking back.
Its time to continue my journey.
Theres one thing i learned from this, never let a man stop you from growing or being who you were meant to be.
If he cant accept everything about you, then he dont deserve you.
Its a whole package deal.
he cant pick and choose.

Pet peeves (Its time for me to get on my soapbox>> LOL :-] )

2008-12-10T14:28:00.000-05:00

Time for another lovely edition of My Pet peeves: It seems like every week, shoot every day i find more and more things that irk my soul. So here they are.

1) Why must people be secretaries? This truly irks my soul. If someone has something to say why cant they say it themselves? Why must you have a messenger? Be man or woman enough to speak your mind and tell me the truth. keep it 100 with me and ill do the same with you. Point blank.

2) Why do people continue to wear shorts and flipflops when its December, it rains, it snows and its colder than a mug? I dont get it. Are they immune to the cold or they just dont care if they get sick? Which one? Whatever the reason is its still stupid put on some clothes and you wont be hacking up a lung...LMAO.

3)Why do people want you to listen to their story or problem but when you talk they go on to another topic? I mean dont even come at me like that. Be respectful to me or i have no words for you. If you listen to me, ill listen to you. I hate it when it feels like im talking to myself. thats probably b/c i am. nobody really cares about your issues. they are too caught up in their bs and they are too egocentric to take time to listen to others. Thats the main reason i say you know what forget it...ill just write...it solves the problem. i dont have to worry if it(the computer LOL) listens it(the computer) just takes it all in. LOL writing keeps me sane....

4)Why must men play games? If you know you dont care just say that so i dont get my heart trampled. Just let me know from the start : "Okay,im a bser and i dont care and i never will". then i will know to do my own thing and have a back up plan. It would save so much time and energy and prevent all the heartache. Just keep it 100 and there will be no problems. At least give me the opportunity to protect myself.

5)Why do men lie? If there is something i should know just tell me. I wont bite. I might get mad, thats expected but at least ill know and ill learn from it. Then ill be prepared the next time it happens. I cant say i didnt know. B/c lets face it its inevitable. Men lie. So once again let me get myself ready and maybe it wont hurt so bad... ya dig?

6)Why do we still have school a week before finals? This is so ridiculous. I mean how in the world do you expect me to study for your last test/quiz, do a million papers and mini projects, and still be ready for 3-4 finals in the next breath? i need time to recover. I seriously wish they would get rid of fall break, make thanksgiving break longer so you have a wk between the break and when school starts again to do all the crap and study for all the tests when you come back; then you should get the wk before finals off(the wk you come back from thanksgiving should be the last wk) that way you can really prepare instead of cramming. Its really not constructive or conducive to passing b/c you are so stressed and you have so much bs to do its not even funny.

7)Why do some teachers insist on making you stay the whole allotted time while others casually let you out early? I mean damn are you really gonna learn that much in the last 5-10 mins? They need a life.

8)Why does it seem like the night goes by too fast even when you go to bed early enough? I mean i sleep 8hrs or 5hrs and i still feel the same: i still dont feel like getting up. LOL

9) Why does the last week of school go so slowly? I really need this wk to be over. I need some serious downtime i am truly stressed to the nth degree.

10)Finally, on a funny note why does it seem like when you procrastinate you are so much more productive then when you start early? LOL i mean i had a paper due tues and actually didnt type it til 1am that morning. It took me til 3am to finish but it was good and it was pretty long.(8pgs LOL).I dont know why but it seems like im just like my dad i work well under pressure. i get lazy when i start something early. i have to be under some pressure....like its due the next day or the test is the next day to really be productive..LOL aint that crazy?

Well thats it for this week but trust and believe theres more where that came from. :-)

Lyrics Im Feeling :-0

2008-12-10T13:57:00.000-05:00

++Beyonce: Scared of Lonely

(Different but im feeling it)

I'm in this fight, and I'm swinging and my arms are getting tired
It's hard, I'm trying to beat this emptiness but I'm running out of time
I'm sinking in the sand, and I can barely stand
I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely
I try to be patient, but I'm hurting deep inside
And I can't keep waiting, I need comfort late at night
And I can't find my way, won't you lead me home
Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along the wall
And I'm scared the only heartbeat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone
I can't seem to breathe when I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely
I'm scared of lonely.....

I cry at night, 'cause my baby's too far to be by my side
To wipe away these tears of mine, so I hold my pillow tight
To imagine you would stretch your hand looking for mine
'Cause I'm lost in this dream , I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along the wall
And I'm scared the only heartbeat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone
I can't seem to breathe when I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I need your strength when nobody is around
'Cause I'm tired of this emptiness, I think I'm drowning
I can't be lonely no more
Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along the wall
And I'm scared the only heartbeat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone
I can't seem to breathe when I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely
I'm scared of lonely.....

**Keyshia Cole: Thought you had my back

(throwback but still hot!!; and so true)

Verse 1]

Every girls got to go through it and every man has to go through it its a thing called love.
Listen to me now Listen to me.
I still remember the day that you said you was a badboy.
Man I should have listened when you said you was a bad boy.
You took control of me I thought you would change for me.
Everything different now reminiscing ain't the same boy,
How I let you come and hurt me like this boy.
This boy, I am open now I want to get away but you are forcing me to stay.

[Chorus]
Love I thought you had my back this time but man I am wrong this time.
It's a thing called
(thought you had my back)
Love I thought you had my back this time, but man I am wrong this time,.
It's a thing called Love.

I loved you for your ways but your ways hurt me bad boy.
Hurt me so bad why you want to see me sad boy, I am tired of crying over you
but I miss you so much I don't know what to do seems that I gotta move on
live life with out cha, but every time someone comes around to talk about you
I get feelings inside again I wanna be right back by your side again.

[Chorus]

Ooh ooh ooh You got me ya, ooh You got me ooh ooh, You got me ya, oooh.
And I don't know what to do. I thought you had my back I am so wrong I am so wrong.

Ya its all good though sometimes in life you know situations
come your way you just gotta make good decisions man,
You know you gotta know your focus in life and if love is your focus then man pay attention.

You got me ya. I am so stuck right here.

>>Brandy: I Tried

(another banger....and so true!!)

First Verse]
I’m sittin' home on a cold day
Underneath the covers like a little baby
Think I wanna hear some Coldplay
Especially that song when the man says

[Bridge]
'Did I drive you away?'
I know what you’ll say
Oh I know
I know all about your ways
What you do
When you’re gone
And I knew
All along
And they say people change
So I, tried to look the other way

[Chorus 2x]
I tried to be blind to your game
Deep down, I knew
Shoulda left your side in the first place
But I thought I’d be cool

[Second Verse]
All I can see is yo-ur face
Givin’ my lovin away at some woman’s place
Maybe I should get up and go wash my face
Cryin’ never kept you at home anyway

[Bridge]
Did I drive you away? (No I didn’t but you said it)
I know what you’ll say
Oh I know
I know all about your ways
What you do
When you’re gone
And I knew
All along
And they say people change
So I, tried to look the other way

[Chorus]
I tried to be blind to your game (Tried to be blind, yeah)
Deep down I knew [Deep down I knew, inside oh]
Shoulda left your side in the first place
But I thought I’d be cool

[Chorus]
I tried to be blind to your game (I tried to be blind)
Deep down I knew (but I knew it, oh oh oh oh)
Shoulda left your side in the first place
But I thought I’d be cool

[Bridge 2]
And all you spent
The calls you get
And the rooms and sh!!
And I knew
You had a b!tch
I hated it
That’s what I get

[Chorus out]

~Toni Braxton: STupid

(I LOVE Love Love this song....this made that scene in Diary of a mad black woman where she sees the newly engaged couple and then takes off her ring and finishes her drink...thats my movie...LOL; this is so true!!!)

Loving you is stupid
Cause I know that you never really loved me
And you never gave me signs Id see
That you and me were ever a possibility
And I feel so stupid
After all the noise you left me lonely to die
And you never gave me a reason why
And now Im sittin all alone and I cry

Am I stupid
I shouldve known you were only playing a game
And you and me would never be the same
You made me feel like Im the one to blame
And I feel so stupid
After all those nights after nights that I tried
And all those conversations of lies
And Im sittin here all alone and Im cryin

Im crying....

I cant believe you never knew how I felt
All this love and baby no one else
Could ever love me the way that you do
Youre all I need and you treated me so wrong
And I cant believe it
How could you do me like you do
Cause Ive been so stupid for you

Why do you do me like you do
You baby, You darlin
You baby, You darlin
You dont care
Im stupid baby, Im stupid darlin
For you

And Im the one played
And Im the one left with all the shame
Im stupid baby, Stupid darlin

+++Well thats where i am this week empowered but still somewhat docile..look out for a new blog in a sec...

My Love Language ♥

2008-12-09T15:46:00.003-05:00

Well all of the questions didnt apply but i do agree with what they came up with.

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Quality Time

My Detailed Results:
Quality Time:	9
Physical Touch:	8
Words of Affirmation:	6
Receiving Gifts:	3
Acts of Service:	3

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.

Tag 3 people so they can find out what their love language is.

Take the Quiz!
Check out the Book

Why?

2008-12-08T17:20:00.001-05:00

I was so lost.
So naive.
So blind
So in love.
But now i see the reality.
But now im still in love.
But this is different.
I wanted to believe you so bad.
I wanted to love you and look past everything bad.
I wanted to be there for you.
But now its up to you.
Im subtracting myself from this equation.
You decide what you want.
I gotta do whats best for me.
I have made my decision.
I just cant believe that this is happening.
Its like the world is my enemy.
Nothing is going my way.
everything i believed in is a lie.
So now i gotta start from scratch.
I thought i was growing but now it feels like im going backwards.
I just wish you would love me and be with me or leave me alone.
Either tell me the truth or nothing at all.
ANd you wonder why i dont tell you nothing.
You dont tell me nothing but you want my life story.
This aint a one way street. You gotta meet me halfway.
It feels like im living a nightmare that never ends.
I thought you were different but i guess i thought wrong.
I should have gotten the hints...
I should have noticed the comparisons...
I should have noticed everything but i was so blind.
I love you but i dont know what to do or think anymore.
I just cant put myself through this.
It hurts too bad.
Its making me sad.
I need to be happy.
I put so much time in with you just for you to play me.
At least be man enough to tell me yourself.
Im really not feeling the secretaries...You have a mouth.
Use it and tell me how you really feel.
I try to tell you stuff now and its like whatever...
I mean whats the point?
Saying nothing worked better.
I guess you were right.
I just didnt want to believe you.
I loved you, scratch that, love you so much none of that matters.
I just want to be with you.
I only care about you.
When you want to talk and come correct, you know where to find me....
Until then i have no words for you...

What Happened?

2008-12-08T16:44:00.001-05:00

What happened to the man i loved?
The man i thought was sent from up above.
What happened to the man that called me everyday?
The man that showed me love in every way?
What happened to the man that told me how he felt?
The man that made my heart melt.
What happened to the man that made me smile?
The man that talked on the phone for more than a while.
What happened to the man that loved me?
The man that said he doesnt know what he would do without me?
What happened to the warm, caring, man i used to know?
The man that would never let me go.
Or was all this just an illusion?
Am i just crazy?
It seems like you are so different.
Im not the same person i was before either.
But i just dont know.
Its killing me that you are not talking to me.
Loving me.
Chilling with me.
Just being with me.
I dont know what to do.
Im just so lost without you.
All i wanna know is what happened to that man?

just some thoughts floating around in my head.....♥ :-/

2008-12-04T23:30:00.004-05:00

Well im kinda sad. Im overworked. My head is killing me. Im sleep-deprived. Im always in my own world. Thats all i do is think about stuff. Whats due tomorrow? What do i have to start? What do i have to read for this class? Am i really in love or is it just lust? Why do i love him so much? Why cant i get him off my mind? Why do i want to cry sometimes when i think about it? Why am i so antisocial sometimes and so outspoken at other times? Why do i care about him so much but then again hate him at the same time? Is this what love really is? Is this what it does to you? Does it consume you, mind, body and spirit? Does it make you want to crawl up in a corner and cry because you miss him so much? Does it make you want to think about him and nothing else even though you have a ton of other things to do? Does it make you love him even more even when he hurts you? Do you always have to talk to him, everyday? Do you tell all your friends about him? Do you write poems about him? Do you get mad at him but you cant stay mad? Do you want him so much you cant even conceive the thought of being with somebody else? Does your blood boil knowing that he may find somebody else but you know they arent as good as you in any way, so you put up a nonchalant front? Does every conversation turn into a conversation about him? Do you feel happy as soon as he calls? Do you smile when you hear his voice? Do you count the seconds, minutes, hours, days, and maybe even weeks till you see him again? Do you constantly think about the times you have shared? Do you want him back more than anything in the world? Theres so much more i can say but i think this about sums it up. I mean what more can i say? I just wish he would forgive me and call me. I just want him to be in my life. But i cant force him to do anything, he has to make that decision, so until then i just have to learn to distract myself and be productive. But if that time never comes then ill know the reality of the situation that i thought was true love. Ill know that everything we had is gone. Ill know that its true what they say: good things dont last forever so enjoy them while you can. Ill just know. I wont have to wonder anymore. I just wish and pray and hope that im wrong. I hope he still cares, deep down inside. I hope he calls. I hope he still loves me. I hope he comes back. I hope he still wants to be in my life. I just want to hope again. I just want to believe again. I honestly lost hope and faith in love. He broke my heart when he said those words. I just want him to be the one to pick up the pieces and put it back together.

Lyrics im feeling :-)

2008-12-04T19:18:00.000-05:00

Current mood: artistic Category: ambivalent,calm Music

+SIngle Ladies(Put A Ring On It): Beyonce
All the single ladies (All the single ladies)All the single ladies (All the single ladies)All the single ladies (All the single ladies)All the single ladiesNow put your hands up[Verse 1]Up in the club, we just broke up I'm doing my own little thing You decided to dip but now you wanna trip Cuz another brother noticed me I'm up on him, he up on me dont pay him any attention Cuz I cried my tears, for three good years Ya can't be mad at me [Chorus] Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it Don't be mad once you see that he want it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on itWuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh ohWuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh ohCuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it Don't be mad once you see that he want it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it[Verse 2]I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips Hold me tighter than my Dereon jeans Acting up, drink in my cup I could care less what you think I need no permission, did I mention Dont pay him any attention Cuz you had your turn And now you gon learn What it really feels like to miss me [Chorus]Wuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh ohWuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh oh[Bridge]Don't treat me to these things of the world I'm not that kind of girl Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve Is a man that makes me then takes me And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond Pull me into your arms Say I'm the one you own If you don't, you'll be alone And like a ghost I'll be gone All the single ladies (All the single ladies)All the single ladies (All the single ladies)All the single ladies (All the single ladies)All the single ladiesNow put your hands upWuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh ohWuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh ohCuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it Don't be mad once you see that he want it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it [repeat]Wuh uh oh

>> If This Isn't Love: Jennifer Hudson
I'm calling this fone up just keep tellin how muchI really love him cause he's everything I wantHe listens to me, cares for meSo why'd you leaving me?God sent me an angel up from aboveTo love me for lifeThings would be perfectOnly because it's the only wayI can describe and say[Chorus:]If this isn't loveSee what it is, is like I'd be dreaming and just playin crazyIf this isn't loveSee what it is, cause I never felt like this babyIf this isn't loveL-o-v-e what is (in) me?L-o-v-e Oh...If this isn't love [x2][Verse 2:]I'm selfish cause I don't wanna shareWhen nobody not even knowsPeople that came before meBut see I ever believe.God sent me an angel up from aboveTo love me for lifeThings would be perfectOnly because it's the only wayI can describe and say[Chorus:]If this isn't loveSee what it is, it's like I'd be dreaming and just playin crazy, (oh)If this isn't love (No)See what it is, cause I never felt like this babyIf this isn't loveL-o-v-e what is (in) me?L-o-v-e Oh...If this isn't love [x2]So if you got real loveLet me see you put your hands upSee you put your hands upThe kind of love that beatsWild like a clubLet me see you put your hands upSee you put your hands up, if this isn't loveCause I know I ain't crazyI know I ain't trippinI know I ain't sleepinI know that it's loveSee me with my hands upIf you think I'm dreaminI know I ain't dreaminCause this reason maybeAnd I know what is loveIf this isn't love...[Chorus: till end]

Im feeling kinda ambivalent so yeah it is what it is...:-) LOL

Lyrics im feeling: NEyo

2008-11-26T12:03:00.001-05:00

Current mood: artistic Category: real, truthful Music

NEYo: MAKE it work

Ooh uh ooh,ooh uh ooh yeih yehYou understand meAt least you say you doLately thats enough for meLooking for perfectSurrounded by artificialYou're the closest thing to real i've seenSure, everyone has their problemsThats a givenYours are the easiest to tolerateThis wasn't what we was wantingHow we're livingBut let's take this good enough and turn it to greatBaby understand...This can only be as good as we both make itGuess sometimes its gonna hurt (yes sometimes its gonna hurt)We can be as happy as we want to be girlBut we gotta make it workWe gotta make it work...Ay oh ay oh ohWe gotta make it work...Ay oh ay oh ohWe gotta make it work...Ay oh ay oh ohWe gotta make it work...Ay oh ay oh ohSometimes i love youMore than you'll ever knowOther times you get on my nerves (hey)That's just realityNo, it can't always beKisses, hugs, and beautiful wordsYou was looking for your prince,oohWhat you found (wat u found)Is a pauper with potentialAnd no, i'm nowhere near perfect..NOBut i'm around (but im around)Girl, time and patience is essentialBaby realize...This can only be as good as we both make itGuess sometimes its gonna hurt (guess sometimes its gonna hurt)We can be as happy as we want to be girlBut we gotta make it workWe gotta make it work...Ay oh ay oh ohWe gotta make it work...Ay oh ay oh ohWe gotta make it work...Ay oh ay oh ohWe gotta make it work...Ay oh ay oh ohThick and thin, (ooh)The bad outweighs the good sometimesThat doesn't mean we're 'spose to give it upMy problems are yours,and yours are mineThis can only be as good as we both make itGuess sometimes its gonna hurt (guess sometimes its gonna hurt)We can be as happy as we want to be girlBut we gotta make it workWe gotta make it work...Ay oh ay oh ohWe gotta make it work...Ay oh ay oh ohWe gotta make it work...Ay oh ay oh ohWe gotta make it work...Ay oh ay oh oh

NeyO: Mad

Oooo oooo ooooOooo oooo ummmShe's staring at me, I'm sitting wondering what she's thinkingUmmm Nobody's talking, cause' talking just turns into screaming (Oooo)And now yes I'm yelling over her, she yelling over me,all that that means is neither of us are listening,and what's even worse, that we don't even remember why we're fightingSo both of us are mad for nothing, (fighting for)nothing, (crying for)nothing, (oohh)When we won't let it go for nothing, (come back for)nothing,it should be nothingto a love like what we got oh babyI know some times it's gonna rain,But baby can we make up nowcause' I can't sleep through the pain (can't sleep through the pain)girl I don't want to go to bed, mad at youand I don't want you to go to bed, mad at meno I don't want to go to bed mad at youand I don't want you to go to bed, mad at me (oh noo)Ummand it gets me upset girl when you're constantly accusing(asking questions like you already know)hey we're fighting this war when both of us are losing(this ain't the way that love is supposed to go, whatever happened to working it out?)We fall into this place where you ain't backing down, and I ain't backing down,so what the hell do we do now?So both of us are mad for nothing, (fighting for)nothing, (crying for)nothing... (oohh)When we won't let it go for nothing,nothing,it should be nothingto a love like what we got oh babyI know some times it's gonna rain,But baby can we make up nowcause' I can't sleep through the pain (can't sleep through the pain)girl I don't want to go to bed mad at youand I don't want you to go to bed, mad at meno I don't want to go to bed mad at youand I don't want you to go to bed, mad at me (oh noo)Oh baby this love ain't gone be perfect, (perfect perfect oh no)And just how good it's gonna beWe can fuss and we can fight long as everything is alright between us before we go to sleep...Baby we're gonna be...Yah.... Baby....ohhhh....ohhhhI know some times it's gonna rain,But baby can we make up nowcause' I can't sleep through the pain (can't sleep through the pain)girl I don't want to go to bed mad at youand I don't want you to go to bed, mad at meno I don't want to go to bed mad at youand I don't want you to go to bed, mad at me (oh noo, nooo, noo)

I just found these lyrics to be true....i like what hes saying.

What ASJ Is Thankful For

2008-11-26T09:26:00.003-05:00

1) Im thankful for being alive. Just the fact that god saw fit to wake me up this morning is truly a blessing.

2) Im thankful for my family. They are always there for me no matter what.

3) Im thankful for my friends. The true ones are the ones i cherish. They are the greatest.

4) Im thankful for my boo.

5) Im thankful for a house to live in that has heat and running water as well as electricity LOL.

6)Im thankful for all the material things god has blessed me and my family with. Even though those things dont count. Its the intangible things that really matter like love, trust, respect, honesty, etc.

7) Im thankful for the fact that i can attend college. Not many people can say that. Also not many people have the grades for it. So im thankful for brains too.

8) Im thankful for food to eat.

9) im thankful that i have clothes to wear.

10) Im thankful that i have faith in god because without god in my life i really dont know where i'd be.

11) Im thankful for this year. there have been many ups and downs but i have truly learned alot about myself and others and i dont regret a thing.

12) Im thankful that i am who i am and blessed that god chose me to be me. (If that makes any sense).

13) Im thankful that im almost done another semester and im not doing badly. LOL

14) Im thankful for whats yet to come because im still young and theres much more to be explored.

15) Im thankful for the fact that i am relatively healthy. I am doing well.

16) Im thankful for the people that came before me because they truly paved the way so that i can make my journey. (Barack oBaMA is just one of those people and im so proud that i got to be apart of history and see something as wonderful as him becoming president take place.)

17) Im thankful for life as it comes. it may not always be what i want or expect but nonetheless its life.

18) Im thankful for my talents. I can play the violin. I can write. I can sing okay...(LOL). Im a very creative and intuitive person.

19) Im thankful for education because without it i would not be the person i am. i wouldnt know what i know. I wouldnt have learned so much.

20) Finally im thankful for my beauty. For how unique i am. There is nobody like me because god made me that way. I may not be a model but im nowhere near ugly. LOL

Now what are you thankful for?

I really dont know anymore.... ;-(

2008-11-20T19:28:00.000-05:00

Current mood: artistic Category: confused, frustrated, contemplating Romance and Relationships
I really dont get whats goin on right now. I mean first you say i shouldnt change then you say i should. I mean i never really thought i had so many things wrong with me until i spoke my mind and you were "enlightened" or whatever. I mean there are so many reasons why i felt as though i couldnt spill my guts. But ill stick with just a few. First, i didnt know how long it would last so should i really pour my heart out just for you to leave? Second, i didnt know if you could handle it seeing as we didnt and probably still dont, know each other like that despite how long we have been talking. Third, i was always told by my friends, gmom, and mama as well that you should never ever tell a man everything. So when you say i should feel comfortable, i didnt because then you would know every thing and every part about me and there would be no mystery. There would be nothing to discover. I would be vulnerable. You might take advantage of something i told you and use it against me. How do i know? I mean i thought men liked not knowing everything. If you know everything about somebody would you really still like them? Would you really still see them the same way? Would you really still care? I just never thought i could because when you tell all your business, its your fault when you get hurt. And i know you say you wouldnt hurt me, i can trust you, you are not going anywhere. But its just that i never had what i had with you before. I never had these feelings. Well if i did, they were never as real as they are for you. I feel as though, I need to grow and now you agree. It would also help if i had more experience with relationships, i would know how to act. I mean i never had a man treat me like you do. i never felt the way i feel about you. Now i realize that i was holding back because i was scared. Scared to get hurt. I was scared to fall too hard and you wouldnt be there to catch me. I just need that reassurance i guess. I have a few issues i guess: for starters, i nag too much, i keep everything to myself, i dont trust people, i get hype over petty stuff, im too defensive, i dont know how to be loose, i dont know. Theres probably more but i cant think right now. All i know is i love you and nothin or noone could change that. I just wish you knew. Something else i know is that with this new knowledge, i can be a better person, i can treat you better and love you better. If you want me to. It seems as if you are too quick to think that i dont want you, just because theres a song on my page or a particular sticker. Or because i dont talk to you. Or i dont call. Really most of that is just plain old day to day moodiness and being busy with school and other day-to-day stuff. Everybody has their days. Somedays they feel good other days they dont. Im just a very expressive person, So if i feel a certain way...you'll know because of my music or my stickers, or my blog or my status. But make no mistake none of this defines me. If you really wanna know me, talk to me. Ask me questions. Be real. I mean dont assume. Dont jump to conclusions from what you see. Get to know the real me. Thats all i ask.
But heres a lil something that i wanna share with you: (writing as i go, just see what you think...(for my boo he knows who he is ♥):
I love you with no end in sight.
I love with all my might.
You correct me when im wrong.
When im weak you make me strong.
When im blind you help me see.
When im lost you find me.
I love you so much its crazy.
I dont know what i would do if you werent my baby.
I truly need you in my life.
I just want to be your wife.
I know ive said it time and time again.
But baby you are my boo and my friend.
My love for you has no end.
This love is unconditional.
Its so deep i can feel it in my veins.
Each time i close my eyes i can see your face.
Just as clear as day.
When im sad you make the tears fade away.
You bring a smile to my face.
You make my heart smile.
You make me feel good.
I never want to be without you.
I love the way you do.
What you do.
I love who you are.
Even with your flaws.
You are so raw.
You are so real.
I love how you make me say what i feel.
I love that you want me to tell you the deal.
I love being in your presence.
Theres no better feeling.
Whenever you're around im so high i can touch the ceiling.
Its like everything else is a blur and i zoom in on you.
With your smooth brown skin and nice brown eyes.
Sometimes they be having me hynoptized.
I love how i can forget all about the stress.
And then im submerged in unlimited happiness.
Whenever you come around i never want you to leave.
You gotta know that if you split, i would sure grieve.
I love the way you kiss me with those smooth, lovely lips.
I love the sweet things you say.
I love when i get to hug you.
I love when you stare at me like im the prettiest girl you ever seen.
I love how when i stare at you it feels like im in a dream.
A dream that i never want to end.
A dream that is too good to be pretend.
It has to be reality.
It must be actuality.
Theres no other way to explain it.
Theres always a thought of you on my brain.
Im always smiling.
I can just think for hours. I can forget all about my hw.
But its okay cause i got you.
You make me happy.
Please believe it.
Its you i want.
Its you i need in my life.
I love you I love you I Love you I love YOU I Love YOU I LOVE YOU>>> Have i made myself clear???

Im feeling some type of way....

2008-11-18T21:13:00.003-05:00

Well...well..well. I dont know what to say. But i feel as though my back is up against the wall. I feel as though i trusted you and believed in you so much. I feel as though i love you unconditionally and regardless of what happens. I love the way you make me feel. But then again i hate when you do things that are so predictable or things that make me rethink my decisions. For instance, i said to myself. Okay he has flaws but i can look past those because i love him. I said he is cute but i know i shouldnt think that thats gonna make everything better. I know i love him but sometimes that gets in the way of my better judgement. Im just having one of those, i told you so, or i knew this was too good to be true moments. Thats why each time this happens, i build a higher and higher wall to protect myself. Thats why i act the way i do. I always think i can trust you and believe you but im never completely sure cause of stuff like this. I do know that i want an explanation and then maybe ill consider talking to you. But until then....i dont know what to say... I mean its obvious how you feel...or am i wrong? Please let me know. I mean i dont want to jump to any wrong conclusions. I mean ive tried us time and time again and each time something goes wrong. Is this a sign? Let me know..... There has to be a reasonable explanation. I wont bite. I promise ill listen because i respect you and care about you and love you enough to do that. I cant promise i wont be mad or jealous because thats inevitable considering the circumstances(well at least what i think happened, idk). Anyway thats how i feel.

things on my mind....♥

2008-11-13T22:21:00.001-05:00

Okay so i finally got to see the love of my life. And i have to say it was pure bliss. I didnt want him to leave. It was the best. I just love being in his presence. He always makes me feel so good. But then out of nowhere he always has to screw it up just a little bit. Like i know its petty but i expect you to call me at least once a day. I mean so at least ill know you are alive and well even if we only talked for a millisecond. It just hurts when he ignores my calls all day and then he finally answers and he cant even talk. He just doesnt know how much i love him. He dont know how many times, just like right now, when i should be doing my work im thinkin about him or listening to a song that makes me think about him. He doesnt know that i smile when i think about him. He doesnt know that i love him for who he is not what he has. Because if that was the case i wouldnt still be with him. It just feels natural when im with him. i dont have to try hard. Of course its gon take some getting used to, i mean with us finally hangin out and all im gon have to get used to how he operates. I just hope i get the chance to get used to him. To know things that nobody else knows. To anticipate things to feel good when he feels good and feel for him when hes low. I just want to know him inside and out.(no pun intended, LOL) I just want to be that one for him. I think i already am. All i know is i love him and i really wish i could hang with him like everyday. When i was with him i forgot all about what i had to do when i got back to my room. I forgot where i was for a minute. I didnt have a headache anymore. I was cheesing like the whole time. He calms me down. He makes me feel so good. Im just so happy to have him in my life and i dont want to ever let him go. I wished he coulda spent the night. (LOL) I really did enjoy chillin with my bookie butt... LOL (thats what we call each other LOL ). I love him. Thats all i can say. There are no more words.

update

2008-11-11T16:23:00.002-05:00

I have been so tired lately. I think i need to take a nap. I really feel like so drained. I have been trying to keep up with school and all the deadlines. And even during a week like this week, i still cant get any real downtime. I dont have any tests for like 10 days but nonetheless, theres still a lot to be done. Its like the work never ends. The only things that keep me goin are my drive to succeed and graduate with honors, the fact that i want to be somebody in life and the fact that we will be on thanksgiving and christmas break soon. I just cant wait to sleep all day. I just want a day where i dont have to worry about doin nothin i dont have to stress about whats due and when and how im gonna get it done. I just want to be able to relax. School is really taking a toll on me right now physically, mentally, and emotionally.

In other news, life is okay. I see that not everybody is a hater. I have love in my life. I have my family. I have some friends. I just wish i had some money. Its amazing how powerful money is. Really. Like if you dont have it so many things go wrong. So many things cant get done. It makes you stress it can make you happy it can make you sad. You can take it for granted or you can appreciate it. It really is a significant thing.

On to other things....

I really want some excitement in my life man. It feels like all i do is get up, get dressed, go to class, eat, study, eat, go to bed, and get up and do it all over again. Its crazy man. im so tired of the monotany. Im bored.

Well thats it for today...

a few more things you should know about ASJ/ i just wish i knew

2008-11-06T18:50:00.000-05:00

>>ToDAyS NuMeRo UNO ISSue:

Okay heres a few more of my pet peeves and a few of my loves. (you know i have to keep it balanced)

1) First of all I just wanna to say im ECSTATIC that BarACK OBAMA is our president not just because hes black but because i believe he is the best man for the job. NOw let me get to the point: ALL yall HAters need to stop hatin you know who you are. HEs president. Yes, hes black, and hes going to make a difference so get over it and embrace him. It shouldnt be about his color it should be about the fact that hes different. hes tryin to make changes that will make the world a better place. you may disagree with them or you may agree, but ultimately people have to learn to respect the man. I know the main aggregate of haters cant relate so thats why you hate. You think thats he incompetent because of his color and you dont like change you want to stay complacent. However we, his supporters believe that he is competent regardless of his color so stop the drama.

2) I hate hypocrites. dont tell me that i shouldnt be doing something and you sit there and do it yourself. For example dont tell me what i should or shouldnt be eating because 1, you are not my mama and 2 thats not your place especially if you gon sit there and eat the same thing im eating. Just dont play yourself cause im not with it.

3) I hate when people act like its the end of the world because they have been through something. Alot of people go through things but usually (unless you have just been dealt a bad hand or did not play your cards right), it gets worse before it gets better. I believe that god will never put more on you than you can bear. You just have to keep the faith, keep your head up and keep praying. And listen up, having a pity party doesnt solve anything. But neither does pretending you are okay. Just talk to someone you trust and try to get through it just dont try to deal alone. regardless of how cold the world is there is one soul on this earth that genuinely cares about you and will listen and be there to help you through your situation. Do something about it, dont wallow in it or dwell on it. Take positive action. *believe me ive been low probably not at my lowest but ive been low so i can relate for the most part and i have 2 people in my life who always do this*

4) I hate when people act like they dont remember you when you were together for more than a month...I mean for real was i that bad that you erased me that quick and plus we email frequently? I guess all the time we spent and the kisses and the hugs meant nothing. I still wish you felt differently but i wish you the best.

5)I hate when people wont leave me alone. I mean sometimes people, especially me, need time to ourselves to just reflect, to just have some peace, solitude without any extra noise. I really enjoy that time when i do get it. Its really wonderful.

6) I hate the fact that people act like they wanna be your friend one day and the next they dont even speak. I mean either speak all the time or leave me be. I would rather have 1 good friend and a million and 1 enemies than have a million and one friends with 1 enemy. At least ill know who i can trust and depend on because the majority are fakes and the good people are one in a million really. they dont come along often. thats why i cherish my good true friends. (truthfully somedays it feels like i dont have anybody i can call a friend but i know that even my friends feel like that somedays too. i guess we all go through it and i guess it depends on how you define a friend. A friend to me is someone who loves you at your lowest and your highest and whos there for you regardless, someone you can tell anything and they wont tell the whole world, someone you go shopping with, visit all the time, spend holidays with, even maybe give them gifts (but friendship is a great gift itself !!LOL), just someone who cares when the rest of the world walks out, someone who gives great advice, someone who would sacrifice for you, someone who is true regardless of what happens. Thats a friend to me. I have a few of those. They know who they are. I guess its true that when you find a good friend hold on to them because they dont come around often.

7) I love having absolutely no tests....i love when school is over. Its so refreshin to know that the semester is over and you survived ( 1 more month and im done sophomore year fall semester!!)Its a great feeling. Then you learn so much and grow and the next semester you take that knowledge and excel and improve.

8) I love taking walks around campus. WHen its nice and quiet and the wind is blowing lightly. You can close your eyes for a brief moment and take a deep breath. You can think about everything and think about nothing. Its just you and its so peaceful. Its truly an escape. I love being out in the open air. Its the best. Especially when things are getting to you and need a break.

9) I love going home. I may have already said this but yeah. even though the minute i get there i miss being at school cause i get to be independent and free. But i will admit that i miss my big bed at home. Its so much better compared to these lil xl twins. LOL. I also miss my mamas cooking. Its the best. I miss my daddy too. LOL I guess im a daddys girl at heart. I mean sometimes you need that support you need that reassurance and nowhere else can you feel so secure and safe and loved but at home. especially when i been down or my workload is stressing me out.

10)I love being here at school. Its not the greatest but uh i manage. Its just that i feel so much independence and freedom here. i can do whatever i want. and i dont have to wash dishes thats such a bonus! LOL

11) I love life, despite the ups and downs im blessed to be alive.

12) Finally I love my boo...despite what he might think i really do care about him and im always thinkin about him. he makes me happy he makes me smile. he makes me laugh. i feel so good when i talk to him. thats how it is. he has my heart i dont know why but no matter what happens i still care. ♥

++ToDAYS numero dos issue:

I just wish i knew

Why you felt like you do.

You mean so much to me.

WHy cant you just see?

That i love you for who you are.

My love for you has me up in the stars.

You are such a good man.

ANd i just know that god has a plan.

You just gotta keep your head up.

You just gotta hold on.

I know you can do it.

You are so strong.

I know you have been through a lot.

But you are all that i got.

So please baby keep trying.

So what you are doin isnt working.

Try something new.

You might discover that you like it too.

I love you so much.

I just want you to be happy.

I just want you to stop feeling crappy.

I want you in my life.

I want to be your wife.

I know you are the one for me.

You make me oh so happy.

So baby keep on trying.

I know you can do it.

With gods help and my faith.

I know we can make it through this.

Dedicated to my boo He knows who he is.♥

A dream too long deferred has now been fulfilled!!!

2008-11-05T20:25:00.002-05:00

Obama is the president of the united states of america!!Forget the haters who still hate. I know that this is our moment this is our time. We made history we have our first black president and we're proud and nobody can take that away from us never>>> I have had the chills since last night and i almost lost my voice from screamin. I am just so proud to be not only an african american but an american right now. He may not be the same as what the haters are used to. he may think differently and see things in a different light. He may even have different values. He definitely has a different story than most. All i know is he did it, hes more than capable. I know change wont come over night, its just naive to think that but i do believe if we continue to support him, work hard and stay determined, america will be back on its feet and we will accomplish great things. I know we can. Now just for the crazy folks....i know this has been said many times before...But dont get complacent now. Ive heard "they wouldnt give us 40 acres and a mule so we took 50 states and the white house" which is very true and accurate. However now that we have accomplished one of our ultimate goals as a people, this is not the time to become complacent and think that just because hes in there that things will change over night. theres still alot of work to be done and as we all know just being black means more pressure and havin to work 2 or 3 times as hard as the white man. But i know he can do it. I believe in him. I just wanna keep him and his family in my prayers and i wanna wish him luck in the days,weeks, months, and years to come. Also the dream has finally been realized, so dont stop here reach for a new dream and even higher aspirations and take this historic moment in and realize that it should be inspiration for you to strive to be the best you can be and to always work hard for what you want.

Whats goin on with me? More about me(as promised)

2008-11-04T17:05:00.001-05:00

==ToDAy's NUMerO UNo ISsuE:

Okay so im kinda lost right now in my life. School is stressin me out. Like my boo keep thinkin he isnt good enough for me. He says i can do better but i dont think like that. I think hes a good person with a bad side and a good side. Speaking of that he actually made, well not made but asked me to make a list of all his good qualities and his bad qualities (kinda like in tyler perrys why did i get married( one of my fav movies btw big tyler fan :-)) and see if the good outweighed the bad or vice versa. However when i was done, there was more in the good column than the bad. But he insisted on trying to find more bad. As if he was like doing some kind of self-expose and revealing stuff that i didnt even know about him, or stuff that i knew already. It was like he wanted to get rid of me. Like he was intimidated. but he told me that he was intimidated cause im smart, beautiful and im doing something with my life and what is he doing? Its like he loves me with everything he has yet he still doubts his value/worth to me. I didnt know what to think. He made me feel bad. Speaking of that, he said it felt like i didnt believe a thing he said and that i didnt really love him. He thought like i wasnt letting him into my heart so to speak. But i told him when you been hurt and you have little experience, those few experiences dictate your future behavior, thoughts and actions towards the next "candidate"(very appropriate words seein as today is election day! yay OBAMA!!). I mean you start to believe, even though you havent been through many relationships that all men just want sex and a man will never really love you. So when one comes along that may not be perfect but has some potential and he treats you way differently than anybody else, you cant see that and it takes some assistance, and some time to get that through your head that a man can really love you and want more than sex. Also he seems to be under the impression that i am very beautiful so i get multiple and frequent opportunities to conversate and socialize with men, and he think like i get approached like all the time. Its ridiculous. I mean for real just because you are beautiful doesnt mean all men will see that and appreciate you. Because what is beautiful to one man may be unattractive to another. I mean its just not that simple. I just figure 1 men dont like me like that or 2 i dont give off the impression that i am open to be approached or 3 i dont go out enough. I mean there could be multiple reasons. I could go on forever, but the point is i really dont get that much play. So when one man comes around that i love, i stick with him and even though he may have a few flaws i learn to live with them because thats what love is. I am beginning to realize that the perfect man does not exist. Now that does not mean i am settlin or suggesting that anyone else do that. I am saying that at some point you have to stop and tell yourself that everybody have issues. Now the question is how many issues is acceptable and are you willing to live with them. If you can answer the first part(every body has a different idea of how many flaws is acceptable) and you answered yes to the second question then thats the person for you at this point in time, maybe not forever but for the present. I just want him to realize that im not settlin like he thinks because i actually love and care for him and despite his flaws i love him. He wants me to marry him, he says. And im a lil too young for that. i dont wanna lead him on. So i told him im not sayin you will not be the person im with forever, we'll have to see what fate has in store. But if i do find someone else i like more i will be with them, if we part before we get married. But if im not with anyone else or i never leave, then yes i would love to marry him. But right now thats too far ahead to even think about. truthfully i wanna have some fun in my life first and see if i could possibly love anyone else first and if the answer is no then ill pick him. But that is only on the condition that he comes to visit me and we get to interact with each other. I dont wanna get married and i havent even spent any time with him to see how he is in person. Seriously. I just wanna enjoy the present thats enough to worry about and stress about without adding the future. Lets just enjoy it while it lasts however long that is. hopefully forever, if its gods will. I really do love him and i wish he would stop thinkin so badly of himself when it comes to me and realize that stuff like that doesnt matter. I love him for him. He aint perfect but i still got love for him regardless because he just has my heart. What can i say?

Yeah though thats my piece on that. In other news im really excited about today despite some haters...I really want obama to win because its an historic election and i believe he can do great things because he is a great man that gives me the chills when he speaks and he gives me inspiration to keep going and he gives me oh so much pride he is so unique so eloquent and so qualified, he is the epitome of our MLK, hes just that great. However, whatever happens tonight i just know that this is my history and no matter what anybody says that cant be taken away from me. And because of how far he has come, he will make it easier for another african american to run in the future. its historic regardless. But i really want him to win. I really dont know what will happen if that other one...(not to be mentioned here his name is too ugly to grace my blog LMAO) wins. I know i really wont go to school except to take my bio test. LOL I have high expectations and i hope they are met.

++TOdays NUmero DoS ISsuE: (10 more things about me; parts will be shorter due to the fact that i should be studying right now LOL)

1) I hate when people ask stupid questions:

I mean the answers are so obvious. Like is that your hair, uh...no its not but i bought it so that makes it mine. Or do you to go to Widener? (when they can see i have the shirt on, why else would i wear it? for fun?)

2) I hate when men put themselves down believing that they are not good enough for me: I mean if you were that bad i would have never picked you from the jump. I picked you because you stood out and i like you. Or you picked me. Now if i just happen to be smart, pretty and going somewhere in life and you choose to be complacent or dont want anything better how is that my fault? All i can do is lift you up and encourage you if you WANT to do BettER. However, you dont care how can i help you? (there are some exceptions and there are those out there who always get the short end of the straw so to speak, and nothin seems to go right in their lives so it forces them to stay where they are out of defeat and that causes pessimism. So for you i say, keep your head up brothers it cant get worse than it already is if you are at the bottom, it can only get better)

3) I dont like people who talk about things they dont know or assume that you always have to do things their way:

I mean if you dont know, save yourself the hurt and embarrassment and keep your mouth shut. Dont talk about what you dont know. it makes you look stupid and ignorant.

I mean im not you im unique so i have a different out look and i see things in a different light so im going to do things the way i think is best. Because thats all i know. How can i do better(or your way) without knowing there is another way?

4) I hate when life gets good and then all of the sudden everything comes crashing down on you:

I mean its like im loving life. Im loving the people around me and then out of nowhere something bad happens that makes me sad, mad, or just plain indifferent(meaning i isolate myself to defend my feelings in case you didnt know). Its the worst feeling.

5) I hate when people act like they arent irkin'when they are:

Its like they are totally oblivious to the fact that other people have to deal with their stupidity or juvenile behavior. Its crazy and it irks me so bad.

Now heres some loves (too much negativity hurts you LOL gotta have balance)

6) I love when a man tells me how he feels:

When he can say whats on his mind without hesitating for fear of what im thinking or not thinking because if hes real with himself, he can stand up for his emotions and reveal them. It gives me a deeper connection and something to reflect on when i cant talk to him (whether its good or bad). I love hearing things like that.

7) I love being able to have a day off:

You know, sometimes when you're in college it seems like the work never ends and you feel bogged down. (well at least if you are a nursing major).Im craving a break so bad. It would do my heart and my mind immense good.

8) I love chillin by myself:

Cause sometimes people irk me. its so refreshing to just be able to be immersed in your thoughts and dreams even. LOL and plus im an only child so im used to it i dont mind. i love having my space!!!

9) I love eating my mamas homecooked food:
She cooks some good stuff. Like sometimes ill be real greedy and eat whatever she made the first day. (LIke itll be all gone) LIke thats just how i am. im a glutton i cant help it. Its so refreshing to have the food she makes after being at school and having to eat the same thing all the time.

FREEZE! STOP LOL back to one last hate that just hit me!!

10) Why do people feel the need to tell the whole world (not really but you know what i mean) all their business?:

I mean for real why you think i wanna know that you just took a leak? i mean for real thats ridiculous. People are crazy!!

*Bonus: I hate mufuckin Mccain and stupid PALIN no more words needed
*Bonus: I hate when people only care about themselves and act stupid..basically i hate selfish self-centered people. PS: Oh yeah i hate weird people too. LOL

VOTE ITS IMPERATIVE!!!!

2008-11-02T20:59:00.005-05:00

People if you havent voted at any other time, now is the time to get out and VOTE!!! iF you want more of the last 8 years, then dont. BUT if you want change and more opportunities, then by all means, PLease VOTE>>> We need change in America so please make your voice heard. IN every election every vote counts but every vote counts even more this year!!! We will have our first ever black president which is historic and very powerful and inspirational. If you want change if you want hope, if you want things to get better VOTE FOR OBAMA on nOV 4th!!! Whatever you do, dont forget write it on your calendar!! This is a crucial and exciting time in history and possibly one of the most memorable elections ever, so please do your part!!! VOTE!!!

i have a lot to say/ who is ASJ

2008-10-31T16:45:00.018-04:00

♦==♦TODays numero uno issue: I have a lot to say
Okay is it just me or does it seem like when you work hard for something or (try too hard is a better way to put it), you just dont get it. ANd when you dont try or fall back a little bit, you get it. Thats crazy. But yeah let me explain. I mean like when i really like a dude, ill call him, ill want to see him. ill write poetry about him ill bless him with the privilege of being mentioned in my memoirs (aka the diary for the people who dont know LMAO...i know its kinda juvenile but thats how i vent the more personal stuff that i dont tell erbody and their mamas brother LOL(i made that up myself)). Anyway as i was saying, ill ask him questions and try to get into his head. Ill wanna have long drawn out conversations that have no end in sight. LOL ill just want him basically. and sometimes i try too hard i guess. I dont let it go with the flow and happen naturally.
Now when i dont try that much and i fall back, dudes respond to that. THey call me and wanna see me and wanna get all in my head. maybe even bless me with the privilege of writing a poem or a rap about me. THey will wanna have long drawn out conversations with no end in sight. I mean its the exact opposite. I guess it is true that you have to let him miss you every once in a while. dont be so quick to answer when he calls, let it ring a bit...dont be so quick to call him, let him sweat a lil bit...you get my point. Which one is better? Being all on his jock or letting him chase me, so to speak? I dont know but ive done a lil of both in my day. It doesnt seem like either one of them is more effective than the other. I just wish i knew. But yeah. On to another thing thats been getting to me. Is it love when you think about that person constantly? You cant stop even when you try? You cry when you cant talk because it actually kills you inside. It hurts. You take things too seriously like if they dont call you for a few days you jump to ridiculous conclusions but then you realize that all your assumptions are stupid and empty. Is it love when you dream about them wake up thinking bout them? go to sleep thinkin about them? Is it love when you just simply go through your routine aimlessly and stay in your own world all day because your thoughts are consumed not entirely but almost completely with him and you cant wait til he calls and you can talk to him almost infinitely? I mean what is it that stops you in your tracks when you are doing something that takes the uttmost concentration? What else do you call that but love? I mean its ridiculous how much i care about you. You know who you are. you mean so much to me and i just dont know what i would do if you were not in my life. I mean you make me feel so good and you make me feel so many different things that i cant even explain. You are the best man i have ever known and you are nice, sweet, considerate, cute, caring, thoughtful, compassionate. And so much more. there are so many days, not unlike today that i just long for your touch, to see your smile, to feel your arms wrapped around me and never wanna let go. i long for your love. i long for you i want you so bad its crazy. i really do need you in my life believe it or not and i really think you are the one for me. I really wanna see you and hang out but i dont know when or if that will happen. I love you just the same whatever happens and i always will. I love you I love you I love you. I just cant say it enough.

♥+♥+♥+TODays numero dos issue: Who is ASJ (things that describe me: for those of you who dont know, you better ask somebody LOL )
** 1: I am Amber Sheree always and forever. Nobody can change that.

++2: i am crazy/silly however you wanna call it, thats who i am. I laugh at stupid things. I use silly phrases. I am just a jolly pretty much goofy person.

^^3: i am very shy. At times i may try to hide it but sometimes it gets the best of me. I am especially shy when i dont know you cause i dont trust everybody.

==4:I am very quiet. I dont like loud people like that. I mean sometimes i am loud but mostly im quiet and thats how you know im in deep thought or im just not feeling very sociable.

--5: Im every emotional. Things get to me. even though i try not to let that happen. Im too sensitive. But recently i have been workin on that, im tryin to grow a thicker skin as they say. i mean cause people are gonna say things that hurt or that you dont like so you have to live and learn to let it go over your head cause it aint worth startin no drama.

]}6: Im so honest. If i dont like something, it might take me a while to tell you but i will. Sometimes if it irks me bad enough ill tell you right then and there. But for the most part i have recently learned to say what i think and im learning not to care what others think because all that matters is that i have beliefs and that im strong enough to stick with them.

++7: i hate when people use profanity incessantly. It irks me because its like they have such a limited vocabulary that they cant think of anything else to say. it also shows their ignorance and their disrespect for the people around them, especially elders. I mean at times you get mad and you have to curse or certain occasions just call for it. i can understand that. but not like every minute of every day. thats just ridiculous.

''8: i dont like vegetables that much. I try to eat them occasionally. only when my mama complains....LOL im just a junk food person i guess.

.> 9: Piggybacking off the last one, I loveeeee junk food. Its ridiculous how much i pig out. I love sweets especially chocolate. I love candy. I love juice. I love oodles. I just love good food that aint good for you basically. If you got good food thats where im at. (emphasis is on good food, im not staying anywhere wheres theres nasty food; that dont work for me... LOL)

=10: I love writing as you can tell and you probably already know that if you know me. its an escape from this crazy unpredictable thing called life.I could write for days. You probably couldnt read it all but hey i guess im just very long-winded. I love to write poetry and stories mainly but i write about what happens in my life too ( mainly in blogs and on my diary). But when it comes to writing a paper for class, unless its interesting i procrastinate to the nth degree. LOL I just cant bring myself to get motivated to write if im not feelin it.

))11: Okay now here it is. As crazy as it may sound....i love school. Well for the most part. ANd heres why. College has taught me alot about myself, other people and the world we live in. It has also made me grow up and become more independent. It has also made me a better person. But it has also made me hate studying and doing work. I think i learn the most from the experience, not doing the work thats why i say that. I mean yes i do learn alot from doing the work but what im sayin is that doing that work doesnt teach me the life lessons that living here on campus does. They are two completely different things: living here and going to school here.

>>12: Im an only child. well if you know me you know that. But yeah in some ways that has hurt me . But in other ways it has helped. For example i didnt have anyone else to interact or grow up with so of course naturally i learned to entertain myself and be okay with being alone alot, ( negative)(thats why im probably shy and to myself so much today). and for instance, it has helped because it made me rely on myself and i had a closer relationship and more love and attention from my parents and family because it was just me. ( positive) but yeah somedays i love it and other days i dont because since its just me there is more focus on me so that is not always a good thing.

$$13: I love music. ANyone who has known me for any length of time knows that. It is my escape. It keeps me sane. in fact im listening to it right now on my ipod (which stays attached to me; listenin to usher: whats your name if anybody wanted to know ....LMAO). I love to hear the new stuff first. But the old stuff is cool too. Because oldies are the ones that are classics. They are timeless. and some newbies are already classics to me. I just love it. it makes me happy when im sad. its there when noone else is or wants to listen to me vent. Its there always. its makes me dance, it makes me feel good. it makes me feel sexy. it expresses the words and thoughts i sometimes cant. It is what it is. what more can i say?

>>14: I love money. i mean who doesnt? i wish i had some when i dont. i love when i have it so i try to save it. I know ill make it when i finally graduate in about two years.LOL i mean it gives you the essentials and some things that you dont even need. i mean it cant buy everything, (like intangible things like love) but it helps. especially in this economy.

~~15: i love to think. it is yet another escape for me it keeps me sane. sometimes it makes me insane. i can think what i want without no regrets or criticisms. i can say what i cant say out loud. i can envision things, people and places. i can be happy. i can be sad. i can be mad. i can express thoughts or keep them to myself. (more often than not i say what i think). I can go into my own lil world when noone else seems to care. I can just be at peace.

^/16: More importantly i love to talk and express my thoughts. sometimes i talk too much sometimes not enough. Sometimes i talk when i shouldnt and vice versa. Sometimes i talk to who i love. sometimes i dont. I love to conversate though especially if you are willing to listen. thats the key. i hate talkin when people arent even listening to what im saying that irks my soul.

<>17: I love to sing. in the shower. walking along the street. laying on my bed wherever. i think im good. some people may think otherwise but who cares. sometimes a song is that good that it compels you to do so.

=-=18: i love to smile. because i have a pretty one. if you can make me do that you are cool with me. point blank. well that is if you make me smile for the right reasons. and if you are on my level. LOL

*-+19: i love to laugh. if you got a good joke feel free to tell me. i love laughing. it something about it thats so refreshing and its good for your soul.

&^+20: I love to read. you can learn so much just by doing so. you can also gain insight into other cultures and worlds. and you can also be entertained and helped. thats what i love about books. there are so many kinds and they all serve a purpose. i dont like all of them but hey they were written for a reason and theres bound to be one person that will read it right?

**+21: I like shopping. well when i can buy something i like that is. theres no point in shopping if you cant buy it. thats like showin a kid candy and sayin that they cant have it.

*)=22: i love dancing it gets you moving. even when there is no music...you can make your own. you can express yourself without limitations. you can dance slow you can dance fast. you can dance with some rhythm or without it ( LOL for real some people do this on the daily). But yeah its a good thing.

$=23: i love sleeping. i mean thats the best thing to be able to sleep late. it feels so good and so refreshing. (well most of the time LOL) i hate when i have to miss out on sleep. i hate getting up whether i get enough sleep or not. im a night person so thats why i hate mornings. mornings and me dont get along. LOL for real.

*))24: im a neat freak everything has its place. if its not there i get heated. im just very organized and that has alot to do with me being a virgo. (Sep 20 for those of you who dont know) i am a perfectionist and very analytical. i over think everything. and i overorganize everything. dont get me wrong it can be a good thing, but it can also work against me.

!! 25: I love learning new things. i mean the more i know i can become a better person. i can adapt and regroup. so if i dont know something that i should and you know it, please feel free to enlighten me but dont over do it....i hate that. everyday i learn things i never knew and its great. its true what they say, you are never too old to learn and learning doesnt stop when you graduate school or leave the classroom. and you dont even need a book, a classroom or school to learn some of the most important things. school cant teach you everything. somethings you have to learn on your own. life is the best teacher.

_+_26: I hate when people expect me to know things and they dont say it. i mean im not a mind reader. come on. you gotta help me out.

$~$ 27: i hate when people lie. i mean if you have something to say say it. i might not like it but ill respect you for it .

^>28: i hate when people act fake, like i said its not a becoming trait. just be yourself and if you like me you like me if you dont, its not the end of the world, no sweat off my back. save me the waste of time and nrg and let me know what the situation is.

$)29: i hate two faced people which is basically the same thing as the last one but basically dont act like you like me one day and then turn around and hate on me the next. be consistent. if you hate me do that if you like me okay. just do what it is you do.

^<>30: i hate when people act like im supposed to be just like them or like everything they like. i mean im me and we werent destined tobe the same when god made us. thats just how it is. and its also because im a product of my environment. i cant help that. and im definitely not gon force myself to conform to your narrow or naive mindset. it is what it is.

__+_31: i hate when people use me. i mean i know i have alot to offer but at least express that and respect me enough not to take advantage of that. because you are just making it worse for the next person. i mean really.

**^32: i hate when people try to change me. now i know this is similar to a previous one but i was saying something a lil bit different in that one. what im saying in this one is that i hate when people cant accept me for who i am so they try to change me to fit their needs instead of growing and adapting to be friends with me. i dont like that at all.

**33: i hate people who are disrespectful in general. i mean it just irks my soul. its just stupid. to get respect you gotta give it and if you arent how can you respect it in return? thats just common sense. treat others how you want to be treated.

>>34: i hate when i look nice and dudes try to talk to me. but when i look a mess ( not like totally tore up but you know what i mean LMAO) i dont get any play. thats just stupid. im the same person and if you dont like me now just because of that, then thats petty. i dont get it but i guess thats just the dudes i been dealing with (NOT ALL OF THEM), but most of them) that are superficial like that. I also hate that some dudes want you to look like a model all the time and they expect you to be all pretty but sweetie, some of us dont have an income like that, we're broke college students. i mean for real what do you expect? for real.....if you cant take me as i am then kick rocks!!!

*^*35: i hate that people dont get me. but then again i guess they are just not on my level and there are only a select few that do and those are the people worth keeping around...

^*^36: im a very independent person with few friends and numerous acquaintances. i mean guess life experience has made things turn out that way. cause everyone doesnt have the best intentions and they arent to be trusted. (you dont know who you can trust in this life)so therefore, i have way more acquaintances than friends. there are only a select few that i call my friends. because they are there for me. they remember my bday. they remember me. they acknowledge my presence. they care about how im doing. and i appreciate it very much. i try to do the same for them because i appreciate it. acquaintances are just there to hang out when noone else is...occasional study partner....or just to say hi and bye to....nothing too deep dont know much about them...just see them when you do...you know what i mean?
note: i cant think of any more things i hate so back to the loves/likes

==37: i love to waste time. i mean who doesnt? i should be doing something right now but im not. its so much better than doing what you should be doing but sometimes that gets you in trouble. especially since im in college procrastinating can make or break you. LOL really.

**38: I love my family. they are always there for me. they support me they love me back. they care when noone else does. they remember me. they acknowledge me always. there are some members who are not here anymore but they will never be forgotten. i love all of them...no matter how they act/acted. they keep me going. they are who i count on. and hopefully i do the same for them.

$}39: im stubborn and i know it. i just dont budge. it takes a lot for me to admit im wrong so you know you are lucky or blessed when that happens.

^^40: im somewhat religious. i pray and i read the good book (the bible for those of you who dont know). it keeps me sane. it gives me strength. it gives me peace, faith, courage and so much more. my faith does all these things. i believe that god is real that he does things for a reason and there is always a lesson to be learned. if you learn god will reward you for it. if you dont learn, god will put you through things until you learn from your mistakes and repent. i havent always relied on my faith this much. but it seems like since i started school i have because school is no joke and you need god to get you through the tough times and the good times and thats what he has done. i love him. he does what humans cant understand. he does great things and when noone else understands or cares i know he is there for me. friends like my homie d have inspired my faith as well.

**41: i believe that everything happens for a reason. things happen so that you can learn from them and avoid that situation or better yourself. you should never be complacent you should always grow. so dont fall for the same lie twice. be vigilant and cognizant of everything. realize whats goin on and observe your surroundings.

+{}42: i believe in love and that i have a soulmate out there somewhere but then again i dont know. i mean i never had a real Real love. i had what i thought was love. i had love but i mean i never had that person who would do whatever, whenever, however, you know that person who is just down for you and will sacrifice to help you, to be with you, because they love you. that long term still love each other maybe even grew up together been through so much crap and good things together, that person thats your best friend and your man and your lover, your protector, your everything. I have love in my life right now no doubt but will he do all these things? im not sure yet. hes pretty close to this description but i dont know. would he do all this and more? maybe i should ask and find out. the point is i believe but i dont know if i should. i dont know if im fooling myself or if im right.

[]43: i just love life. i love the ups and downs despite the turmoil and negative emotions. i love what it offers what i have learned. i love who i have met. what i have seen. what i have heard for the most part. i love it all. its good. and i thank god for all that he has blessed me with.

&&44: i love being happy. thats why i hate when im anything but happy. it irks me when i cant be happy. my problem or the source of my problem is that i look outward for happiness when it really comes from within primarily. you have to have a positive outlook and be optimistic you have to love yourself and be happy with who you are first, if you are not then you have some work to do, to make adjustments and cultivate a better you. you have to do that first and then and only then will you be truly happy.

^^45: sometimes i just wanna get away. i wanna go far away. with that one i love or just by myself. i wanna travel. see the world. go to a place thats not so familiar. i wanna try different things. i wanna grow. i wanna evolve. become better. i just wanna do so much. its hard to say all of it. like i really wanna go down south and see how it is. it seems like a fl y place to be. everybody down there seems like mad cool. mad fun. they have a different outlook and sometimes you need that cause your outlook might be a lil stale. you know? also i wanna go to cali. it seems really nice there. it seems cool as well but not a good place to live...too many earthquakes for me. LOL uh uh i like consistently level ground.i wanna go to france i mean i might as well get my moneys worth out of french i mean i did take two semesters of it. LOL i wanna go to italy it seem so romantic places like that always do.

--46: i wanna meet someone famous. i just hope they are who i thought they were i hate that. dont have this fake persona (that i may like despite the fact its fake) and then when i meet you you are totally dull or boring. LOL i hope any celebrity i meet is real. I would really like to meet someone like chris brown he is so sexy!! LOL or somebody like taye diggs.. he is just the epitome of chocolate and so is morris chestnut...let me stop.. LOL but yeah one of those types. thats who i wanna meet. i admire their work among many others whom if i listed all those names this entry would never end.. LOL

==47: i wanna be free. i wanna dance and act crazy. i wanna party hard. i wanna get my dL (i mean i should have been had it but i have been using so many excuses to avoid it....i mean thats like the key to real freedom LOL), i wanna have my own place, my own car, i cant wait to get my degree. i wanna do me. i wanna have a man who i marry one day a man who i love. i wanna have some munchkins maybe 2 or 3 to leave as my legacy LOL. i wanna just have a wonderful life. it doesnt have to be all fancy and glamorous but i do want a few sparkles in it. LOL

""48: i love watching tv. but it can be the college students down fall. they have some good stuff on tv. i mean give me a tv with at least directtv and ill be good all day. LOL i love tv...

++49: i love being on my laptop which is yet another downfall for us college students.(im on it right now as i type this.>> LOL) but i mean what would i do without that and my ipod which im also listening to right now....i mean they keep me sane.... LOL what can i say? it is what it is...

--50: Finally i know yall like damn this is alot but there might be a part two (with another 50 things on it...i think i like doing this i might start doing this on the regular) I love movies. comedies, romance, scary movies (which i might watch even though im not the biggest fan of halloween i mean after all it is the red mans bday>> LOL), i like action movies too. and movies that have alil bit of everything. they complete life dont you think? they give you hope that things like that can or maybe may never happen (depending on the situation) in your lifetime.

Anyway thanks yall for reading and bearing with me.. feel free to add feedback.....like i said i might do this again soon it might be more about me or about other stuff thats random. you never know so wait and see.

random

2008-10-30T21:03:00.005-04:00

My head hurts.

I love him.

he is always on my mind.

He never leaves no matter what i have to do.

He is so nice.

I dont feel like doing any work.

But you know what? thats okay.

I think i do need to take a break for once.

I study too hard.
I either slack or study too much.
Theres no in between.

I hate ignorant people
I hate people who are loud for no reason.
I hate fake people.

Why cant people be real?
Sometimes i wonder if i act like that?

I hope not but if i do i know im no where near as bad as them.
Why cant people respect diversity?

Why do they have to hate because you are different.

And because you are unique and noone else is like you.

It scares them thats what i really think.
Thats why i stay to myself.

Cause i hate crazy, stupid, dumb people.

I wish more people were like me.
But that aint gon happen cause they just not on my level and truthfully some people are gonna BE who they WANT to be regardless and others will TRY to BE who they are NOT regardless. thats just life.

Anyway i love obama. He came to my school on tuesday!! i was so excited!!!
I love what he stands for.
I love his sincerity.
I love his goals plans dreams and ambitions.
I love that he is making history.
I really want him to win.
SO i will do everything i can do or at least attempt to do to reach that end.
And that starts with my vote on NOV 4th no doubt i will be there at the booth at 7am LOL for real a sista has classes to attend.

Why do i feel so lazy and frustrated sometimes?
Why do i feel so happy and energetic at other times?
Why do i sometimes feel like i could care less what others think and then sometimes i care too much?

Why do i get annoyed so easily?
Why dont i just realize that people are crazy and thats how it is?

Anyway there are some cute guys here at school. I guess im not really their type.
They want the fast and stupid and no clothes wearing model type i suppose. Well they got another thing coming if they think im on that tip. cause that aint me.

Im smart, not model pretty but still gorgeous, i wear what i feel like wearing and i stay to myself. My philosophy is if you wanna get in my world you gotta give me reason to let you in. Cause not just everybody gets that privilege. I have to know that you are sincere no matter who you are. Ive been hurt a few times so its hard to believe in people and trust anyone. Im an only child so you know i have high expectations but im not spoiled never that.

I stay to myself because its better that way. that way people cant get in your head and act like they care when they dont. or they cant take advantage of your vulnerability. They cant do you wrong cause you never let them in or gave them a chance to.

its so much better that way. i love being immersed in my thoughts. thats why sometimes i like to go home but the instant i get there i end up regretting it. i guess school gives me just enough independence but still gives me security. At home there is security but no independence. I guess im just so used to being on my own at school that its boring and useless to come home unless i need something because i just dont like it there. yet i do get the privacy that i lack at school. my own room with a nice sized bed where i can close the door and not have to worry about people coming in and out.

cause in your mind, noone can tell you you are wrong or right. noone can tease you or question you. noone can get on your nerves. noone can irk your life. noone can bother you. As long as you dont let them . LOL its just so peaceful. Now i do admit that sometimes i get so lost in my own self i isolate myself from the world. but you could say its a protective mechanism when people arent paying me any attention i just love to go into the inner recesses of my mind and just think those thoughts those thoughts that noone else can hear that noone else can criticize because they are all mines. I just love that. But sometimes i think too much and overthink things.

Just by being a virgo (sep 20 for those who dont know) i am so analytical and im so intent on being a perfectionist it sometimes works against me. But it is a good trait to have being a nursing major i suppose. which is harder than most suspect since they are all bio premed and biology and physical therapy majors. my major is a piece of cake i guess. but not to me. its still hard and sometimes it drains the life out of me.

But i know in the end it will all be worth it. Because ill have a comfortable life and ill be able to make it on my own. Ill be doing something that i love hopefully.

Anyway on another note i been sleeping on africans. i guess i realized that when i watched that movie phat girlz with my girl monique in it (she is so hilarious !!!!). It seems like they value women much more over there and they love a woman with some meat on her bones. It really is refreshing how they( at least in the movie...you must see it if you havent yet) treat their women like queens. Speaking of that a cute dude just came to my room with a fly african accent and he was so generous that he offered me halloween candy and i dont even know him. i thought that was so sweet.

Well i could say more but i think that i have said enough. There will be more like this in the future. this blog truly is becoming my sanity as well as my entertainment. I love it on here. writing is my passion so its only natural that i use it to vent. Ill be back with more thoughts soon. Thanks for reading....feel free to comment...

Im trying

2008-10-25T12:17:00.000-04:00

Im really tryna to evolve and become better than i was the day before.
So when i fall i just pick myself up off the floor.

I really wanna be so much more.
Theres a whole world out there waiting to be explored.

I just wish i could be nicer.
Maybe even smarter.

Im trying to be more disciplined.
Im doing the best i can.

To get over these hurdles.
Im tryna to surpass these obstacles.

There are just so many in my way.
I want to be better.

I really do.
theres no excuse to do less than im capable of.

People are anticipating and waiting for me to fail.
I cant let them get their wish.

I have to fight back.
There cant be a day that goes by that i stay the same.

I have to change.
Its inevitable.

I must do better.
Its the only way.

The only way i can achieve my goals.
The only way i can survive.

Im trying
Im trying.

Why is this so?

2008-10-25T03:34:00.003-04:00

I just wish i knew why.

Why do men tell me im pretty?

Then they take me for granted.

They always tell me what a good head i have on my shoulders.

Then they ignore me.

Why do men say hurtful things?

And then say they didnt mean it.

Why do men get your hopes up?

Only to let you down.

I really dont know.
I just dont know.

Sometimes i wish i did.
Sometimes i just stop caring.

I want to give up.
Then i want to try again.

Its a never ending cycle.
It confuses me so.

Its like a cryptogram.
The answer escapes your grasp.

Its like being lost.
And you dont have a compass.

I really wish i knew why men always think that i can get whoever i want.
Just because of my looks.

Im pretty but beyond that.
Most people just dont get me.

Or they dont want to take the time to get to know me.
Thats too much work.

They are too lazy.
So lazy that they dont even know that they are missing out on a good thing.

Scratch that a great thing.
Im not saying im perfect.

But im worth the chase.
Im worth fighting for.

Why cant men look beyond what they see and get to know me.
Why cant they approach me?

Why do they always want me from afar but not up close and personal?
I dont get it at all.

I have never been the most popular.
And im still not.

Im not the model type.
But im nowhere near ugly.

Im beautiful in so many ways.
Yet many men dont even try to see that.

They just criticize me.
And see what they want to see.

I just want somebody to love me for me.
And take the effort to get to know the real me.
is that too much to ask?

I just dont know

2008-10-24T00:14:00.000-04:00

I just dont know why i keep on giving you chances.

Time and time again.

I mean if i work with the same materials.

Im bound to get the same outfit correct?

So if i get with the same person.

And expect every time to be different.

Then im just in denial.

Because people are stubborn.

They crave your attention.

But give you nothing in return.

I dont know why i thought this time would be different.

Its just that i love you so much that i was willing to try again.

Thinkin that maybe, just maybe.

Those good memories. Those great feelings would come to the surface yet again.

And they did. But things are different.

And i can tell.

You want me one minute.

Then you ignore me the next.

I love you

Then you make me hate you.

Then i like you.

In spite of what you do.

Or what you say or how you act.

I still want you

I still love you

I still need you.

In my life.

In my world.

In my heart, my body, my mind, my soul.

Somehow i just cant stop loving you.

This love is unconditional.

Oh so forgivable.

Oh so impossible to dissolve.

I just dont know why but i do.

And i always will.

I wanna work it out but how do you feel?

I really cant tell lately.

And that hurts.

I just dont know how but i do.

I still love you.

With every part of my being.

With everything that i have.

I Love You.

Now what do you want?

Let me know.

And ill try.

If not, ill never be able.

To be the best woman for you.

Ill always be second rate.

Never first class.

cause im so ignorant to your expectations.

Enlighten me.

Give me peace of mind.

Just let me know....cause really truthfully, I just dont know.

He....( a tribute to my boo: he knows who he is)

2008-10-20T19:59:00.000-04:00

He allows me to see things in a whole 'nother light.

He allows me to love him with all my might.

He allows me to be who i am

He allows me to not give a damn.

He makes me smile without even trying.

He says what he thinks and hes not even lying.

When he calls he brings a smile to my face.

It doesnt even matter whats goin in my space.

Just when my skies are gray.

he comes and saves the day and washes all the clouds away.

he makes my heart sing.

he even wants me to wear his ring.

Even when im mad i still love him.

I couldnt even see my life without him.

Hes everything i ever wanted.

I never realized it.

But i love him like crazy.

he always gon be my baby.

Sometimes he gets on my nerves .

But hes still my number one.

No matter what he does .

I just cant get enough of him.

Ill be forever loving him.

Sometimes

2008-10-16T22:22:00.000-04:00

Sometimes im clumsy.
Sometimes im not.
Sometimes im lost.
Sometimes i find my way.

Sometimes im sad.
Sometimes im mad.
Sometimes im happy.
Sometimes im glad.

Sometimes i feel loved.
Sometimes i dont.
Thats when i realize if you dont love yourself.
Nobody else wont.

Sometimes im lonely.
Sometimes im confused.
Thats when i remember that i hate being used.
And then i remember that life dont love you.

Life loves itself.
Its all out for its own wealth.
It doesn't care what you think.
Life just does what it does.
Just because.

Sometimes im me.
Sometimes im who i shouldnt be.
Sometimes im crazy.
Sometimes im sane.

Sometimes im silly.
Sometimes im in a whole 'nother lane.
Sometimes im vulnerable.
Sometimes im secure.

Somtimes i feel rich
Sometimes i feel poor.
Above all im still ASJ.
No matter what happens.

Im just a different variety.
Just showin a different side.
But nonetheless, I'm me.
And nobody can change that.
I love who i am.
Then again sometimes i dont.
But then i realize that i am who im supposed to be.
It was all just destiny.
God doesn't make mistakes.

He gave me beauty. brains, wisdom, courage and heart.
So i plan to use them all and become better everyday.
I'll never take me for granted.
because too many other people do.

If noone else loves me and appreciates me i will.
No matter what happens even at my lowest.
Especially at my highest.
Im just me.
THe one and only me.

Trying to understand

2008-10-11T02:56:00.002-04:00

Im trying to understand.
The psyche of a man.
Im trying to understand.
Why he does all that he can.
To call himself your man.
But then when trouble comes he runs as fast as he can.
Why cant i understand?
My black man.
My black brother.
My black friend.
Why cant i understand the black man?
They are so diverse.
Yet so much the same,
They think for themselves.
Yet most dont use their superior brain.
Why do they say one thing and mean another?
Why do they say they want you, but in reality that want that other chick.
What do i need to have to make you love me?
Even though thats impossible because you cant make a man do anything.
But what i mean to say is what dont i have that the other woman does?
For starters, you.
But then again there's more.
If only you'd open that door, and learn to explore.
And look beyond my face and my body.
Discover my soul and my mind, and most importantly my heart.
My heart thats been locked away like hidden treasure, sending me on an endless search.
Looking for that one man that can unlock it, who has the matching key?
However I think theres more to the story.
A man needs to compromise.
But i know that i must try.
To be the woman that he sees.
That woman who will have his key.
The woman who will see his soul.
And treasure it like long-lost gold.
This will most likely occur when i finally understand.
When im done trying to understand.
When i completely understand, my black man.

Telling it like it is....

2008-10-04T22:42:00.002-04:00

I wish i could keep it to myself.

But most times i cant

I really hate when men try to label me.

LIke they really know me.

There is nobody like me.

And there never will be.

Men just dont know that irks me to the core of my soul.

That some of them just assume they can take control.

That i really dont have a role.

To play in that game called Love.

Love...that aint real.

Thats just another word for pain.

Just another word for rain.

When your life gets dark and gray.

The color fades and goes away.

You cant make sense of anything....everything's a blur.

Its like everything is happening that should not occur.

Thats when i got to tell it like it is.

I have to let them know.

That im who i am and if they dont like it.

They can keep it movin.

Cause this lady dont change for anyone.

If this thing called love is real then why cant men say how they really feel?

If this thing called love is real then why do men think they can walk all over you like a doormat?

If its real then why do they just want your goods?

If its real then why cant they see you for who you really are?

Why cant they accept you?

Thats what i thought love was.

But i guess i was sadly mistaken.

I guess that love hasnt found me yet.

I guess its taking its own sweet time.

So for now i have to suffer through the lies.

So for now i have to sit and wonder why.

So for now i have to wipe the tears from my own eyes.

I have to tell it like it is.

I really dont have hope for the future.

But i know one day i will meet my match.

I know one day i will find that one...that cares.

That shows me just enough attention.

That one that cares about me and would sacrifice his needs for mines.

That one who just tells it like it is.

And we're on the same page.

And in the same book.

And we're both in love.

i dont know why

2008-10-02T20:44:00.000-04:00

I dont know why but sometimes i feel like things just aint the same.

I dont know why but sometimes i feel like things shouldnt change.

One day i love you and the next day i hate you.

Its like a rollercoaster ride with no end in sight.

Its like i try and try with all my might.

But i just cant forget you and the way you make me feel.

I just cant forget you and how it felt so real.

I want to move on because you already have.

I want to find a new love who cares only for me.

I need to find someone who will let me be me.

I need a love that is unconditional.

I dont know why but i'll always love you.

I dont know why so ill just try.

Try to forget you ever stole my heart.

Try to forget that you ever played the part.

See this way i can find someone new.

Who is everything you were not and always so true.

why do i care?

2008-09-26T18:28:00.000-04:00

You know whats really funny? I know for a fact just from your actions that you dont care. But what do i do? i go deaf. I already know that actions speak louder than words but i guess im realizing it in this situation just a lil too late. I want you so bad it hurts. But i dont know what to do or say cause you chose another. I dont know how but somehow i know she aint as good as me. And she can never be. Cause im me. and thats all there is to it. I got my head on right. Im book smart. i even got a lil street smart. Im cultured. Im loving. Im supportive. Im everything a man could want but for some reason you dont see whats right there in front of your eyes. Dying to be held, dying to be kissed and loved. But when you finally do it will be too late because ill be next to the man who remembers every time he wakes up and every night when he dreams. Ill be next to the dude who would never for a second take my love and care for granted who would do things for me just because for no particular reason. I guess i expected you to compromise or whatever. and meet me halfway. but even that was a struggle. Maybe you were right, that i am too good for you. but until we meet again who knows? All i know is deep inside, i still care and i cant help myself nor do i want to. this feeling is too strong to ignore, it needs to be explored. But if not ill hit the door and say no more

Why?

2008-09-24T17:24:00.001-04:00

Why is it that I cant forget about you?

Why is it that even though you did me wrong, I still love you?

Why do you still make me feel the same, even though things are different?

Why did you make me fall for you, knowing you were never going to catch me?

Why do you act so cold, when people try to be there for you?

I tried to be the one for you, to care about you, to be there for you, to love you, to hold you, to kiss you, to hug you.

But i guess that wasnt enough. You needed more of something i couldnt give you.

Security and confidence weren't in the cards you were dealt.

Even though my love for you was truly heartfelt.

You were my day time and my night.

I didnt know you that long but i knew that it felt right.

I knew i never felt that feeling before and i never wanted it to end.

But i guess you couldnt see me as more than a friend.

Maybe less than that.

I dont what it is about you, but i still care.

I dont know what it is but its still there.

The love i have for you wont ever die.

Even if the fact of the matter is it was all a lie.

Just random thoughts

2008-09-22T01:08:00.000-04:00

All i know is, life will teach you in ways you never expected.

All i think is, why do things never turn out the way you plan?

All i do is for the betterment of myself even though i stumble and lose my place.

Why does it feel like im the only one who ever cares in a relationship?

Do i have some type of problem that i dont know about?

Am i too serious? Or too crazy? Or too smart?

That's probably it.

Im going places and reaching for stars in the milky way when these dudes are so close to the bottom they can't even see me.

I guess i intimidate them.

I guess they cant handle me.

I know im too good.

I know i have high standards.

But without standards what do you get?

They say you get what you pay for.

So i want quality.

I want a good man who has values, morals and respect for himself.

I want a man who is loving, caring, and genuinely interested in me.

I want an intelligent, funny, and compassionate man .

I want a real man.

All i know is im worth it.

All im saying is if they cant handle it, step off.

All i think is its just their fear and stupidity

All i want is to be loved.